One of my favorite sections of the Bible has got to be the Proverbs 31 woman.  I have always loved that passage because I think the way that the woman is described is incredibly challenging yet strong.  There are often times they believe that this is about being the perfect wife and mother, and while yes there are verses that discuss a woman who is a great wife and mother, there are often many other verses that discuss a great amount of strength and grace that could be and should be found in many Christian women.  This passage does not need to be just a guide for wives and mothers, but rather a guide to women everywhere who want to serve the Lord. 

The first reason I love the Proverbs 31 woman is found in verse 17, it says, “She sets about her work vigorously;  her arms are strong for her tasks.” Here is a physical description of the woman’s strength. She works so hard that she has strong arms that are capable of hard tasks.  Although the view as a whole is changing, there was the old fashioned look on women as weak and always needing a man to help her with simple chores. However, this verse from the Bible describes a woman as physically strong.  She is able to do chores and tasks because she is strong both physically and mentally.  

The next verse that I absolutely love is in verse 20 which says, “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.” The Proverbs 31 woman is very concerned about caring for her family, but she also cares a great deal about others that are in the world.  She cares about the poor and needy and wants to extend her hand, resources, and help. She has a care for peace and love to be spread to the least of these. Caring for the poor and needy is later a command given by Jesus many times throughout the New Testament. The Proverbs 31 woman is already following the command of Jesus, even when this passage was written before the days of Jesus.  

Of course, my next verse that I absolutely love when it comes to the Proverbs 31 woman is verse 25.  “She is clothed in strength and dignity; she can laugh without fear of the future.” I love this verse, and it is found in many various places throughout my apartment to use as a reminder.  The Proverbs 31 woman at the very least knows exactly who she is or more importantly, whose she is. She is a daughter of God and therefore she doesn’t have any concern about the future. She knows that wherever she goes in the future, it doesn’t matter because she will always be a daughter of God.  I absolutely love this verse, but I also think this is the thing that I struggle with the most. I am very fearful for the future. It seems that I am always nervous about what is going to happen even before there is a potential of it happening. This verse serves as a reminder to stay steadfast to the Lord even when there is fear.  

Following verse 25, is verse 26 which is “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.”  The Proverbs 31 woman is wise. She again knows whose she is and wants to share that wisdom of God with many others. She makes wise decisions and can then speak that wisdom into many others.  The woman is not only smart, but is able to make smart decisions and give smart advice. This means that she is not interested in tearing other people down, but rather lifting them up to be the best that they can be.  

The last verse that I absolutely love about the Proverbs 31 woman is verse 30 in “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting,  but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” With everything, the Proverbs 31 strength, concern for the poor, fearlessness, and wisdom is at the core created because she loves and fears the Lord.  She has such a respect and fondness for God that she starts to embody his strength, both his physical and spiritual strength. Because she has such a love for God, this also develops a love for other people, specifically the poor.   She again does not have to worry about the future because she knows that no matter what happens in the future, she will be God’s child and that in the end will be the only thing that matters. Therefore she then can speak wisdom into the world.  The Proverbs 31 woman is a powerful woman, but she is only powerful by the one who made her that way.

I recently was reading a book that in one of the chapters was discussing the idea of the Golden Rule.  This book is “The myth of Equality” by Ken Wytsma. “‘Do to others as you would have them do to you,’ Sadly, this rule is all too often twisted into another that is only subtly different in structure but in fact can become a radical reinterpretation of the rule.  Throughout history, it has been referred to as the silver rule. Do not do to others as you would not have them do to you.”

His whole point was that we don’t go out of our ways to show love to others, the way that we would want to be shown love, but rather we just don’t want to hurt others, the way that we don’t want to be hurt.  We don’t go out of our way to show love to our neighbor, friends or family the way that we would want to be loved, but rather we just try not to rock the waves. While this is important to not try to hurt others, especially taking into consideration the way that we don’t want to be treated when talking to others, there should be more emphasis on going out of our way to make sure that others are being treated and loved the way that we would want to be treated.   

 The Golden Rule is actually supposed to revolve around others.  Do I spend a great time doing that for others? Do I take the time to write a random note for a person, especially when I know that they have had a rough time recently? Do I invite people to do some fun things with me over the weekends or on the week nights? 

This was something that I realized that I had not spent much time in doing.  There are so many things that I really want to see from people that I love in my own life.  There are times when I selfishly wish that someone would write me a letter, buy me a random gift, or ask me to do something really fun for the weekend.  I love when people take an amount of time to think of me. There are so many times that I almost think that the world is really all about me, and there needs to be more work done from other people to make sure that I am loved. 

The truth is that loving others is so hard.  It may be one of the hardest things to do at times. This is why the golden rule which is inherently very difficult.  We have to be thinking outside of ourselves about how to help someone else. We need to get out of our own head to enter into the mind of someone else’s.  I may not always know the best way that someone else feels loved, but I can try my best to make sure that I am showing everyone love in the best way that I possibly can.  

The purpose of the Golden rule is not caring about how you are being treated.  You can’t do anything sadly about how others treat you, but you can make sure that you are the one that is going out of your way to make sure that others are being loved that you would choose to be loved. 

Freedom is now my chosen word of the year.  However, this has been the word that I actually wanted to avoid in many ways.  

Freedom can mean a few different things according to Merriam-Webster dictionary , “The quality or state of being free such as, liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another, and the quality of state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous.” 

Taking the first part of the definition, if you would have asked me originally, I would say that this is a word that I don’t need to work on.  I care a lot about seeking freedom for others in my anti-human trafficking work. I care a lot about solving the problem of modern day slavery. I truly thought that freedom was something that I really understood on a deep level.

However, while that is true, I had never really cared about freedom in my own life.  I had never taken the time to see if I am truly at the core, free. In the Bible, Freedom is described often as being released from sin and death.  The main way that one gains freedom is through accepting the blood and sacrifice of Jesus into your own life. But this also requires letting go of that sin that was in your life from before you were united with Jesus.  

Am I really free from the sin of my past? I still very much watch movies and television, as well as listen to music that is not the most appropriate.  I still struggle with my temper and patience, often getting upset when I don’t need to. There are also times when I will engage in gossip or judging of other people.  All of this, to say, are the many sins that I am struggling to be free from. These are still pieces of my life that are not adding positives to my life, yet I continue to hold onto them.  I have thought very much about giving up these sins and problems, but I don’t want to. Even though it would make me closer to Jesus and create that freedom in my life, I also don’t want to go through the hard work and process of cleaning out this sin in my life.  I find it easier to be under the slavery of this sin, because I have grown that comfortable in it.  

The second part of the definition is “the quality of state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous (burdensome).”  Being free means being released from tasks, jobs or even feelings that are incredibly burdensome. The Bible says in Matthew 11:28; “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”  In Jesus, not only are we to have freedom from sins and evil in our lives, but we are also to be free from the burdens that are a part of our life.  This doesn’t necessarily mean that everything in our lives are going to be easy and lighthearted, but we at least know that we are supposed to lay those burdens on Jesus.  We don’t have to handle those burdens on our own, because that is our new freedom in our Chrisitan lives.  

I realized very recently that I am incredibly burdened by fear.  I have always been a worrier, and overly concerned about things that I don’t need to be.  I am concerned over failure, disappointing people, sickness, death, and many other things.  This became such a problem for me that I really struggled with anxiety for many years, and even though I am no longer on medication for anxiety, it is still something that is a part of my life.  This burden of fear and anxiety in my life has been the biggest struggle and hardship of my life. Yet, I constantly feel that I need to carry this burden as opposed to giving it to the one who takes all of our burdens away. This is something that needs to change for the year of 2020.

These are things that I am going to work on in the year of 2020.  This is my year of complete freedom.  

This week has been one of the worst and most stressful weeks of my life.  While that may be said, I did come to many different conclusions.  

I really thought that I couldn’t continue on.  I thought about giving up on my job and starting over.  However, I do have to say that with the support of many of my friends and family around me, I was able to continue on and feel more strengthened everyday.  

At the end of my week, I was watching a show that had the song by Shawn Mendes called, “In my Blood.” I will be honest that I was not a huge fan of this song for a long time, but I heard it this time, and everything changed.  

After this week, I had, I heard the lyrics, “Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I just can’t.  It isn’t in my blood.” This reminds me that giving up isn’t in my blood. I have never been the one to walk away and completely give up everything.  I am not saying I have never quit anything, but only things that didn’t really matter to me. The things that have truly mattered to me, like this job, my faith, my personality, I can’t give up on.  That isn’t who I am.  

I felt incredibly encouraged for a moment, but then I thought about this lyric on an even deeper level.  When we become Christians, we have a new heart that is pumping out new blood. This blood being the blood of Jesus, not our own. 

  It is not my blood that keeps me going, but rather Jesus’ blood.  2 Corinthians 12:9 describes this well. This says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.  Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” That blood that Jesus spilled is running in our veins once we accept him in our lives, and with that brings power, complete and wholesome power; the kind of power that makes you not give up.  

When you are going through a time that makes you feel that you can not make it on, remember whose blood you have running through your veins and your body, and thus whose power you have pushing you onward.  This week brought me down to my knees and made me want to give up, but I have God’s power running in my veins, and therefore I can not give up. It isn’t in his blood.  

I had a friend recently tell me that her cousin apologized to her because she didn’t have a boyfriend.  This seemed surprising to me until I thought about some people I know saying something similar to me. 

“Courtney, are you dating anyone?/ Do you have a boyfriend?” 

“No, I don’t.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”  They ask as though they are sad for me and believe that I must be upset that they are even bringing up a topic like that.   They must believe that I am incredibly sensitive for not having a boyfriend or a significant other.  

This is very strange to me.  I have never once felt bad for someone else when they told me they were single.  Sorry, it’s not that I don’t care about those people, but it was never a thing that made me think someone was less of a person if they were not with someone.  This was not something I saw as a flaw in someone else. I would have figured that you were totally fine on your own.  

I also don’t want people to think that this is something that I need to feel bad about.  Don’t think that the idea that I am single is something that makes me feel sad or upset or loney. That is not the thing that makes me sad at all.  

I want to take this time to explain my many reasons why this doesn’t make me sad, and why instead I praise God because of my singleness and why anyone else who is single should. Singleness can be used as a great tool to reach the many unsaved peoples of the world.  

Singleness can be used as a great glory to God, even though that is often forgotten about.   There are many times when people talk about marriage being used as a way to glorify God. The husband is a representation of God while the wife is a representation of the church.  

However, I would argue that there is a lot of glory that one can bring to God when one is single.  There is again that freedom that one can have in their ministry. When you are single, you don’t have the additional stress of a spouse or a family, and therefore more time to focus on your individual ministry.  

When I worked in Storm Lake at a nonprofit, my roommate and I at the time were both single, while many of the other major leaders had to get to family things, my roommate and I were able to dedicate so much time to the youth of Storm Lake.  We would often meet with many of the kids when we weren’t technically in our working hours. This was also because we were living in the trailer park where a good bunch of the kids we were serving were living at the time. This became such a growing experience for me because I was able to really learn how to love and care about people because I was living and working amongst them.  

I know that I am not the only example of this.  There are many missionaries around the world that are single, because again, they have the ability to live on their own in whatever country or condition that God has called them too.  There are many married missionaries, but there is always the working around things for the other partner, or their kids. Being single gives a person complete freedom to dedicate themselves to their ministry.  

Paul and well even Jesus were what…Single!

Paul who is known as the greatest missionary and bringing of the word to the Gentiles,  is also a great example of singleness. He even mentions this gift in some of his writings.  He even calls singleness a gift, not a burden, not a problem, but a GIFT. A gift that one can receive from God.  

Paul says, In 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 “I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single.” Paul tries to mention that there should be a desire to be single because there are many benefits to this.  

I am not saying that I will never get married.  I may in the future have a marriage, and I hope that I will then be a great wife But for the moment, I will be extremely happy and blessed that I am single.  I will use that singleness as a glory to God. Therefore, don’t be sorry that I am single, because I am certainly not.