I love to golf.  I used to spend a lot of time golfing when I was in high school when I was on the golf team.  After I graduated, I didn’t golf as much because I didn’t have a golf partner.  This past year, I was determined to start golfing, even if that meant golfing by myself.  I got a membership this year, and I have relearned my love of golf.  Something that I have noticed is one, I haven’t completely forgotten everything!  I have had some pretty great hits or holes, which made me happy that I actually could still do some of the things that I was taught in high school.  I didn’t completely forget how to drive the ball (which was always my best and still is I will say).  And, I am still not great at putting.  That is something that hasn’t changed and won’t probably soon since I never take the time to practice it.  (Would you guess that it is also my least favorite). 

The other thing is that it is amazing to me when golfing how much I am impacted when I feel rushed, anxious or flustered.  When I feel like I need to hurry up because of the people that are behind me or when I feel like people are watching me, I do significantly worse than I would otherwise.  On the days that I relax and enjoy myself out on the golf course, not only do I have a better time, but usually, more often than not, my scores and swings show it as well.  This got me thinking again about my anxiety in general.  It seems as though my anxiety starts to impact every piece of my life.  Doesn’t it seem that no matter what it is, when there is anxiety you are always going to do a bit worse.  It is a weight around your neck that isn’t making you stronger, but rather incredibly weaker.   

There was one time in my Bible Study where it was asked whether or not we thought that anxiety and being anxious was a sin.  It was a good question.  Because really, again anxiety is our lack of trust in God, but however it is so painful and hard and feels as though it is out of control.  People can make up their own minds about whether or not you believe that it is a sin.  I am not here to argue that or even to say that it is.  I am definitely not putting any shame or judgement out there.  But it was a good thing to ponder.  I remember answering that question with the belief that it could be a sin, but one that God felt bad for us for.  It would be almost like he would be looking down on us and say, “Oh my poor child, why are you hurting yourself with that?”  I do believe that it hurts God to see in us this anxiety and depression, and how it impacts us mentally.  

Because I don’t want this anxiety to ruin my life, and in this example my golf game, I have tried to develop a few tricks to help me overcome my anxiety.  A few things that I have tried to learn are to take a few deep breaths before I swing.  I have been trying to center myself and find my peace.   I have also been trying to remember to look at my ball.  This is important when it comes to golf.  If you don’t look at your ball then you will often top it, which means hitting only the top of the ball.  When doing this, the ball won’t go as far and is often not in the right direction that the ball should go.  

Like in golf, when we feel stressed and anxious, we also need to take the time to center ourselves.  This can be done with deep breaths and resting in the Holy Spirit.  Like the Bible says in 2 Timothy 1:7, “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”  We have a powerful spirit with us from God.  Therefore, when the anxiety is high, I take those times to remember that spirit and pray a little harder to the Lord.  Then when there are times that our stress results in a hard life, we can take that time to spend a bit more time with our heads down and reading the Bible.  

Why would I want to be anxious when it doesn’t provide me with any betterment to the game?  Why would I do worse in my life in general in order to feel anxious? I know that if you are someone who struggles with anxiety these are questions that are hard to answer.  We don’t want to feel this way, but it is just the things that we feel.  I hope that you can start to find small ways to overcome your anxiety everyday so that you may continue to improve your life. 

This last week my grandpa, my papa, passed away.  I am deeply sad about everything, and I was definitely shocked.  But I am going to use this blog as a way to remember my dear grandfather.  I grew up with my grandpa for the first five years of my life.  I lived there while my mom went to college before my parents got married.  Therefore, my grandpa had a big impact on my growing up years and raising me in general.  He was so special to me and taught me some fundamental elements as I was growing up.  

My papa was very dedicated.  This was something that was brought up at his funeral, and I agree completely.  He was a part of the military and was a medic when he toured Vietnam.  Since he was a part of that, he has been a dedicated member of the VFW in Sibley.  He would often be a part of military reunions and a part of the funeral services for other veterans.  He was incredibly dedicated to his job as a veteran.  He was also a worker at the courthouse for 49 years.  He was really good at his job, re-doing the county roads, sometimes even receiving awards for the best roads. He lived in the town of Sibley his whole life and was married to my grandma for almost 49 years.  All of these are really long numbers.  Not that a person is dedicated only with these long numbers, but it does show that my grandpa in particular was in anything for the long haul even for the ups and downs.  

Papa also was very good about doing great with the things that he had been given.  He wasn’t blessed with the biggest family.  He had only two daughters, my mom and my aunt, and then only two grandchildren, me and my cousin Blake.  However, I know that at least for me, I had the best grandpa.   He made sure to help raise me even though he had already had his children and didn’t need to help raise another child.  After this, he made sure along with my grandma to be at every dance recital, almost every concert, and a handful of games that I was playing.  (He especially loved going to volleyball tournaments where he would be waiting to get a hot dog at 8 a.m.) Papa should be remembered by 20 grandchildren because he was that wonderful, but he never complained about that and rather made it so he was the best grandpa for the two grandchildren that he had. 

My papa showed his love for his family and friends through great service.  I know that my grandpa loved me.  Any time that I had a question about something, he was willing to answer my questions or would just fix it.   He would always state that he could “fix anything, but a broken heart.” He would too.  He could fix anything that was broken.  (He also did often help fix my broken heart in my growing up years.) Even just this summer, my papa walked me through putting air in my bike tires and fixed my taillight in my car.  My mother has had my grandpa’s help in her creation of her three seasons room.  He absolutely loved being able to do things like this for his family and his friends, even if there would be times when you would hear a string of cuss words coming out of frustration. 

My Papa was a wonderful man, and he was one of my favorite people.  I know that I will always love him and remember him.  There will always be things that remind me of him.  The following poem is a poem to just highlight some of the things that I will remember my papa by. 

My Papa (When I…)

When I see a smiley older man,
When I hear a grandpa, or a papa,
When I eat a hot dog,
I will think of you

When I see a military salute,
When I hear the National Anthem,
When I listen to taps,
I will think of you

When I see a set of tools,
When I hear about the Yankees,
When I shop at Menards,
I will think of you

When I see your picture,
When I hear your voice in a recording,
When I listen to your favorite songs,
I will think of you

I will think of you
I will remember the good times
I will keep you in my heart
I will always love you

For those who know me, they know that I have really developed a love for running.  This has not always been there, but I have really started to develop into a runner.  I have completed quite a few 5ks, 10ks, and one half marathon.  (That being one of my proudest accomplishments in my life).  This year my goal is to run 750 miles.   I have so far ran over 450 miles.  

Running has taught and given me a lot.  But one of the best things about running is that it also has a lot of symbolism to verses in the Bible and how we should all view our walk of faith.  The apostle Paul wrote in 2 Timothy 4:7, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”  I love this verse.  This is, of course, the verse that inspired this particular blog.  I love it because it is simple, but it also reminds me of the bigger picture within the Christian faith.  The Christian faith is in many ways like a race, a race that is more like a marathon as opposed to a sprint.  It is not always easy or fun, but it is worth it in the end.    

When running or racing, there are few different things that I have experienced, and I imagine many other runners have as well.  First is the hills.  Now, I live in Iowa, so I know that comparatively to many other people in other parts of the world, I don’t have hills.  I have little bumps in the road at most, nothing to the amount that states like Colorado have.  However, these are still an incline and therefore require more energy.  We are all going to experience hills, or in some cases mountains in our lives.  There will be disappointments, loss, and heartbreak at different points.  And just like running, those hills are going to require more energy to get up.  They also will often make one tired and be incredibly painful.  The good news is that our extra source of energy that we need is actually from the Lord.  He gives us the extra love, grace, and support that can get us up any hill or mountain that we have and will ever face. 

Another big element is fatigue.  Fatigue, like in all things, is being tired.  This fatigue could be because of the hills and hard trails.  However, there are times when I have felt as though I am exhausted the entire run and have to physically and mentally push myself to continue for seemingly no apparent reason.  I have learned, though, that a majority of the reason why I have particularly struggled on those runs and have experienced fatigue is because I am not taking care of my body correctly.  This is usually because I didn’t eat healthy food the days before that run or didn’t get enough sleep.   This also reminds me of our Christian faith, that when I don’t fill myself up spiritually by reading the Bible, fellowship with other believers, prayer, I start to struggle using my own tank to get through my days.  Just like I need to have the nutrition and the health that propels me forward in running, I need the correct spiritual nutrition to propel myself forward in my Christian race.    

Another thing is the runner’s high.  The thing that every runner loves! I feel this is the main reason why there are runners, even if they won’t necessarily say that in those words.  When people ask why I love to run, I definitely just want to say that runner’s high.  I love that feeling  as though I could run forever.  In our Christian faith, this is the opposite of the hard places.  This is the part of the Chritian run/race where one is the closest God that one can be.  This is the opposite of running with fatigue.  

Lastly, there is the completion of the race or run.  Besides runner’s high, this is the best part of the run.  Not because I hate the run part, but there is nothing better than being proud of the work accomplished and the great feeling in the body after finishing a run.  In many ways, this is similar to the peace and completeness that a person can feel once they have finished the race that God has planned for them.  

In 1 Corinthians 9:24, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” I often don’t win races.  I am definitely not the fastest runner in the bunch, not even close.  I mostly get medals for a few completion, and sometimes an age category medal.  So, is Paul saying that you are only being a good Christian if you win a lot, that would not be good in my favor.  However, I don’t think that is what this verse is entirely saying.  This verse is reminding us that when we run the race, our Christian race, our prize at the end will be spending the rest of our time in joy and peace with God.  Therefore, keep running your race. Run up the hills, run through the fatigue and run through the good.  The prize is waiting at the end. 

My pastor was giving a sermon this last Sunday while we were going through the book of Psalms.  The chapter that we were reading this week was Psalm 15.    He walked us through the whole chapter.  And while this chapter includes a long list of things that we as Christians should do, these things are done really only by a person who has a heart to know and love God.  This will not come from a heart that only has a desire to follow rules and regulations.  

“Our assignment is not fruitfulness, but faithfulness.  The secret to fruit bearing and anxiety free living is less about doing and more about abiding.” This was written by Max Lucado in “Anxious for Nothing” This quote really struck me.  I think there are times that we spend a great deal of time thinking about how to best grow our own fruit.  These spiritual gifts are the gifts that help us grow closer to God, so they are extremely important. However, this quote also shows us that our main job is to be faithful to God.  We need to be willing to abide and remain in the Lord, and the Lord will be the one that will ultimately develop in us the main fruits of the spirit.  This will help us a lot in the long run.  This will be a reminder that we have a worker that is always on our side.  

It can be so easy to get wrapped up in just wanting to grow out our own fruit.  With just sheer willpower, I can create a heart of joy and peace at all times.  With just a little bit more thought I will be filled with love and self-control.  With just a bit more breathing, I will be continually patient.  How many of us have tried this technique?  How many of us have tried to force this out and not succeeded? How many times have we gotten worn out or maybe filled with shame and guilt at not being able to complete what we wanted to?  I know that I have felt this many times.  I am always trying to grow in my patience, but I have discovered more and more that this is something that I need to continue to pray to God about. 

This also reminds me of a bigger discussion of legalism.  The theological definition of legalism is, “dependence on moral law rather than on personal religious faith.” This is essentially trying to follow the rules of the Christian faith so well that you are then blameless.  However, It is easy to start to care more about this than really having a deep relationship with God.  It can be easy to start looking at the rules in the Bible and the expectations we feel good Christians need to follow.  Some examples of this is always remembering to speak the right way, praying before eating, reading the Bible daily, and going to church every Sunday.  Yes, these are all good things and help us all become better Christians, but if there is no heart behind it to really grow that relationship with God, then it is just going to end up being a long list that we can’t live up to.  

There are moments that I am reminded of why I am a Christian in the first place.  There are moments when I am reminded of how much I love Jesus.  I love him for all of the love that he has given me and I am so grateful for his love.  I am so filled with joy when God reminds me that he loves me so much, so much that he would even be willing to give his son to die on the cross.   There are times that we can perceive our Christianity as something incredibly difficult and hard.  We may feel as though there are many rules and regulations that a good Christian has to live by.   This is the idea of legalism.  The idea that we need to follow certain rules to achieve God’s love is also not the Gospel.  The whole point of the Gospel is that we don’t have to work for our salvation, nor could we be able to work for it.  We would not be good enough ever.  This is why God died for us in order to save us.  

This world has become at times incredibly complicated.  It seems as though people are always busy and are running around from thing to thing.  There is alway something to be worried about, or to be working on.  This has led to a lot of hurt, stress, anxiety, and depression in many people. The old saying is that people need to take the time to smell the roses.  This is taking time to appreciate the small things and enjoy life as opposed to just rushing around with barely any time to embrace it.  However, I think as the world has gotten more technology advanced, and as we have more jobs and leadership opportunities, we never hardly take the time to smell the roses.  

What many people have discovered throughout this time of social distancing is that simple things easily make someone incredibly happy. I was recently thinking about this again while I was watching my neighborhood kids in the trailer park climb my apple tree to pick apples. They pick my small green apples in order to bring them to their mom who uses it to make a “spicy sauce” (in their words). At first, this was a scary thing for me to watch as I was afraid they would fall off the shed and/or the tree. (To be fair, there are sometimes that I still am), but they find so much joy in picking their apples. And, really it makes me happy that they are outside being active and hanging out with their friends as opposed to just being on their phone or laptops.

I am so happy and filled with joy about things like watching the kids pick apples.  I also have found that looking at sunflowers, playing with my dogs, and a bike ride by the lake are just the most precious things.  Those may be what people consider simple things.  This isn’t anything with major technology.  This isn’t something that is considered to be the new and greatest thing, but it is something that can still reap a lot of joy.  

When I was in college I was challenged to write down five things that I was grateful for everyday in my grateful journal.  This has given me more opportunity to look for something different to be thankful for every day.  I want to always try to find something new, so that means I need to look for different things as opposed to just going with the five things that I always say, everyday.  This has ultimately resulted in me looking around smiling and being thankful, creating a more positive outlook in myself.  

Finding joy and thankfulness in all things including the simple things is also in the Bible in 1 Timothy 4:4-5.   These verses say,  “For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.”  God did take the time to create the simple interactions, the apples in the trees, the glistening light off the lake, and the sunflower.  Therefore, these are things that can be received with great gladness.  

I am not 100% great at this at all times, however.  I still struggle at times, especially when I am really impatient.  I don’t like when things don’t work.  I love my laptop and technology, but I hate when it decides to not do the things that I want it to do.  There are many times that I take for granted the small things and the simple things.  In fact, I can get more mad at them.  I am definitely not the best at taking my time.  Even while running, I usually try to make sure I do it as fast as I can and I make sure to have my music, and so it almost seems as though I am not spending time taking in the sights. I love to go golfing, but I don’t enjoy taking my time.  I get really upset if I am behind people who are, and I have to end up waiting for them.  These are things that I have tried to work on, but I definitely still need practice.  

What are the simple things in your life?  What are the simple things that bring you great joy and happiness?  What are the things in nature that you find are just beautiful?  What is the simple activity that makes you smile?  Technology and big shiny things are great to have in this world.  I love my laptop! It is the only way that I have been able to have this blog! However, there are times that I feel as though I can’t live my life without this or Wifi, or my cell phone. While again, we should totally be grateful for those items as well, what are the simple and wonderful things that we also need to be grateful for? Take some time today to really think about those wonderfully simple things that bring you joy!

The Bible is an amazing thing.  I have read through the Bible twice in my life, but there are still so many verses that take me by surprise because I just either didn’t know they existed, or I completely forgot about them.  One of those verses is Psalm 94:18 in the New American Standard Bible, which says; “If I should say, “My foot has slipped,” Your lovingkindness, O LORD, will hold me up.” This verse stuck out to me because of it’s encouragement and comfort it brings to God’s followers.  God wants to keep us standing up and wants to keep us going.  

I feel as though there are many people who are suffering and struggling during this time.  I know that the pandemic has made a lot of things incredibly difficult for a lot of people.  There have been some deaths, lost jobs, lost health, increase in anxiety, and multiple other problems associated with the pandemic.  I know that I personally have had to be present for many different people during this time. I have also suffered an increase in anxiety that has led me to go back to my medication.  The point being, the world is a MESS.  We are struggling, and many feet have slipped.  

However, the world is continuing and therefore we need to as well. The good news is that we have help and life in the Lord.  I do believe that because of these times and struggles, it does remind us to go to the God who loves us and wants to help us from falling.  If a person is falling, then they aren’t easily able to save themselves.  It also is very hard for another person to always be there for them when it is needed.  Therefore it is so much better to have a God who can catch you when you feel as though you are falling.  God is omnipresent which means that he is always present and he is also omnipotent which means that he has unlimited power.  

This psalmist verse reminds me in many ways of a verse that comes later in Matthew,  Matthew 11:28-30 to be exact.  This was a message from Jesus to his followers that really applies to us in our present stage of life.  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  

The message in these passages are clear.  God doesn’t want us to suffer.  He doesn’t want us to hold on to all of the problems or the bad things in our lives.  He wants us to put those problems upon himself.  Yet it seems that it is very easy for us to do this.  Maybe this is because we want to feel as though we have somewhat control over our problems and that we can fix whatever problem is going on.  We might feel as though we know best when it comes to our problems.  

However, It is important to remember that God is completely sovereign.  God knows more about our problems than even we do.  God knows what is the best course of action that should be done in order to fix the situation.  God can be the best listener and the best person to care.  Therefore it will actually help our anxiety and our concerns to give up that control.  It is incredibly hard, but it is the thing that can make our lives so much easier and happier.  I struggle with this.  I feel as though, myself, a 25 year old second, year teacher knows more than the God of the universe does.  Sounds pretty crazy when you think about it like that.  

Then there are also sometimes when I believe we as Jesus followers actually believe that God doesn’t have time for us.  There are billions of people in the world.  There is a lot of pain, a lot of problems, that why would it seem God would care about us.  Why would he care about my problem?  I have definitely felt this way.  I have been afraid of really reaching out to God because I don’t feel as though my problems are valid enough to pray over.  I feel as though God does not have time for my small problems. I can only go to him when I have a big problem to solve.  

However, God does love you completely.  God hears all of your problems.  God is not like a person where he can get overloaded.  He can handle all problems with joy and gladness. He doesn’t need you to have a huge problem.  You do not have to just go to him when you have a problem, but you can go to him at any time.  During this time of uncertainty, during this time when you may feel your foot is slipping, and during the time when you feel as though you are firmly planted, know that God’s loving kindness will continue to hold you up.  

Recently I went to softball and baseball games for my high school students.  It had been a long time since I had seen my students play their sports and do their activities.  I realized that this is something that I had greatly missed from before social distancing and Quarantine.  I realized that one thing that gives me a great amount of joy and happiness is getting the chance to watch, and therefore, support my students.  

This made me realize the importance of supporting and encouraging the people that I love in life.  There are many benefits to choosing to be supportive and encouraging of the people around.  We never know how much it could mean to someone when we are there to support or encourage someone else.  The verse that sticks out to me the most when discussing supporting and encouraging one another is Philippians 2:4, “Not looking to your own interests, but each of you to the interests of others.”  This reminds me that when we do things, make decisions, or work on anything, we need to think about how to best help and serve others, not just solely ourselves.  

I am not the biggest sports fan.  I like them a lot, and I do like going to the events.  However, basketball, football, baseball are not my all time favorite things.  But these are my student’s favorite things and because they are their favorite things, I want to show my support to them in the activities that they love.  I then am not looking to my own interests but the interests of others. 

I can remember what this was like when I was a student.  When I was in college, I was a part of the women’s chorus on campus.  I remember that it would mean so much to me when people would come to watch me in my concerts.  The two of my closest professors watched me in one concert, and it was the concert I had a solo in.  It was so exciting to share that part of myself with the best teachers I had at the time.  I felt supported.

I can think of just one example of when one student asked me to go to a show happening at the school.  I didn’t think that I would be able to make it because I had Bible Study that evening.  However, I decided not to go to Bible Study in order to make it to the show that would only happen once a year.  I figured it was a one time deal, and I had better make sure that I get to the show.  It was a great variety show, and I got to see my students perform acts that they had worked so hard on.  When the student saw me when the show was over, his whole face lit up.  He was really excited that I was there, and I had seen his solos.  I also know that he did tell his directors that he was so very happy that I was there.  I was very honored to be a supporter and someone that could be there for him.  At the time I had to spend some time thinking about his interests as opposed to just what I had wanted to do.  

Encouraging is very similar to supporting but it is also making sure that those who you are supporting are mentally and emotionally being taken care of.   There are times that people need more than support.  There are times that encouragement needs to be given to make people feel as though they can keep going.  Life can be really hard and stressful, and it often feels as though there is only negativity.  It is very important to try to show people the opposite with positivity and kindness.  This is another Godly thing that we can do as there is a verse all about encouraging one another.  This is 1 Thessalonians 5:11,“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

It can be hard sometimes to encourage one another.  It is a very simple thing to do, to notice a characteristic in someone and to bring it out or to say that they are doing a good job in order for them to keep up the good spirits and continue on.  Yet it seems that we are always too busy doing our own thing that we forget to really notice someone else’s work. 

In conclusion, love does not need to be a complicated thing at all. It can be done by simply supporting someone in what they do or by showing encouragement.  This can go a long way.  It doesn’t always need to be a grand gesture or a self-sacrificing action.  It can also be a kind word or comment.  Half of this love is showing up and being there.  I challenge everyone to find someone who you can support and encourage this week.  

This last week at the Bridge of Storm Lake, I gave a challenge for my team members to spend 15 minutes in quiet or silence.  This for me meant no phone, music, videos, talking, etc.   We live in a world where it seems we are hardly ever quiet and hardly ever take the time to really just sit and think.  I know that I am incredibly guilty of this.  In fact, with my anxiety, I often am a bit intimidated by quiet spaces and times because that is when my anxiety can increase. 

For my 15 minutes of quiet, I decided to go to the lake and sit at a nice quiet spot.  (It was mostly quiet, except for a couple who started to play music).  It was the perfect weather, mid 70s, no wind, and hardly any bugs.  It was absolutely beautiful! I sat there by the lake for at least 15 minutes and then I did some reading.  There were a few things that I discovered/reflected on while I was out by the lake and having my 15 minutes of quiet.  The first thing that I noticed is that there is a bike/running path closer to the lake than I had been running on.  This was not my most meaningful of thoughts, but it was something I noticed.  I really want to go running on that part of the path next time I go out on a run.  

The second thing that I realized was one of the reasons that I love Storm Lake, Iowa.  It shows me a tiny bit of God’s end plan for heaven as well as he wanted earth to be originally.  It is a town that has a beautiful lake and trails right at its center.  This showcases God’s beautiful creation.  This is even why I am so excited for my next run and bike ride around the lake to get the chance to experience the beauty of creation even more.  Storm Lake, like many places in the world, gets to highlight God’s power and beauty in creation.  Storm Lake also showcases God’s ultimate plan for humanity and eternal life because of the diversity in town.  There are so many different people groups, languages, cultures, and individuals in Storm Lake.  We know that at the end of the world, when we are in heaven, we will see people from every tribe and nation praising God.  This is stated in Revelation 7:9, “After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands.” Storm Lake gives me a bit of the diversity that we will have at the end.  This is incredibly beautiful and unique to a small community in Iowa.  

The third thing that I reflected on while sitting at the lake was that I am really small.  I am just a lone person sitting by a somewhat small lake in comparison to other lakes knowing it could still swallow me up by its grand size.  Then I thought about the whole world and everything in it, and I started to remember that I am just one tiny piece.  To some, this might be a negative, however this was not the case for me.  I am hoping that I will always stay that small and keep that feeling.  I don’t ever want to think that I am grander and bigger than I am.  I want to stay a small piece in God’s big plan and creation.   I want God to always be the thing that is big.  Humility is really important.  It is important that we never think that we are grander than we are. 

The last big thing that I reflected on was that this is something I should spend some more time doing.  I should spend more of this time reflecting and thinking as I am staying very quiet.  I know that I can struggle with anxiety, so it is so much easier for me to distract myself as opposed to thinking.  However, I do believe that if I were starting to spend time in reflection and thinking that I could actually help myself fight my anxiety as opposed to just distract myself from it.  I would have to be fighting it head on.  My personal challenge to myself is to spend more time in quiet reflection and meditation.  My challenge now for most of you is to try to take your 15 minutes of quiet.  This means no talking, videos, music, social media, etc. Take that 15 minutes in God’s creation or doing something that you really love.  Reflect on what you are grateful for or are learning in your personal study.  The world is a crazy place (especially right now), but that doesn’t mean that every single moment of our lives has to be. 

The past five summers I have worked in Storm Lake, Iowa for a Christian nonprofit named, the Bridge of Storm Lake.  This has been one of the best leadership, ministry, and growing opportunities of my life.  I have learned many things including how to best prepare for activities, being flexible when things are going to be different than planned, and learning from and about other cultures.  However, probably the biggest thing that I have learned is how to best love people, by intentionally living my life loving people.   

I really started to try to live intentionally when I decided to move into the trailer park a few summers ago.  This summer is my third summer living in the trailer park.  A lot of kids that the Bridge works with at the Bridge live in this trailer park, so it is definitely a chance to live amongst the people that I am serving.  I am getting to understand and relate to the kids and neighborhood on a deeper level.  However, that does mean that I need to actually be available when the kids come over.  I can’t just ignore them all the time when they want to do simple things like color or play outside.  This can also mean just being willing to sit there and talk to them, especially when they have a problem they are going through. This can be hard for me because there are many times I want to do the things that I want to do, and I don’t like doing something different than my plan.  I struggle sometimes to get outside of my head and live selflessly and therefore, intentionally. 

I have two examples of living intentionally since I have moved into the trailer park neighborhood this summer.   One time I had the plan to go to the store and then do a few more other things with work, but I had some puppies outside my door.  (I know, how great was that!) I, of course, played with them for a while and eventually their one owner, who is also my neighbor, wandered over looking for his puppies.  He is a seventh grade kid.  I spent some more time talking and getting to know him while playing with his puppies. The next day, one of the puppies was lost, and I tried to help him find the one.  We did end up finding her, so that was such a blessing.  He and his brother wanted to thank me by making me supper that night and bringing it over.   This was an example of doing my best to live intentionally.  I wanted to go to the store and get other things done, but God blessed me with an opportunity to get to know a kid, and later help that kid find his puppy, and therefore serve him.  It is showing kindness and love to those neighbors. 

There was another time where two girls came over because they were very bored.  This was, of course, still in the midst of social distancing, and they didn’t get the chance to play with people as much.  We spent an hour and a half coloring, and playing with slime.  They girls discovered how to use markers to change the color of the slime.  The girls got the chance to showcase their creativity and love of dancing.  This was also a great chance to talk and listen to music.  (Of course, these were K-pop groups.)  These were two girls that I had known in past summers, so they knew that they could come to my trailer and hopefully feel loved.    

I think that there are times we want our missionary life to be very flashy.  We may feel we need to go overseas and live in a different country to share God’s word and be a true doer of the faith.  This is not always true, or at least it isn’t always true for someone all the time.  God often blesses us with opportunities to serve the people around us in multiple ways.  There just needs to be a thought of living intentionally.  Every person has people in their life that they can show love to.  For example, everyone has been blessed with some forms of family members.  We have also been born into a community and neighborhoods that include a whole bunch of different people.  Then we also choose our own friends that we have the opportunity to show a lot of care and love to.  

All of this work would be considered very Christlike and Godly.  In Zechariah 4:10 it says, “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.”  I recently found this verse, and I believe that it shows living intentionally, even in the old testament of the Bible.  There was the idea of living intentionally even way back in the beginning of the Bible.  This verse showcases that small beginnings are important.  The Lord loves to see people start their own personal ministry and good work.  He wants to see us get started as opposed to doing nothing.  Even when it feels as though your ministry doesn’t matter, even when it feels as though you are not doing enough, it is important to remember that God has a love for whatever work you are doing.  God sees the encouraging note that you write to a coworker, the helping out of a neighbor, and the praying for the sick.  God has a plan for these pieces of work.  God may even use these little ways to live intentionally to grow, shape, and develop you to be ready for a bigger mission. 

Recently our world has been rocked with many things.  This, of course, has been happening with COVID-19, but now we are also being rocked with the protests and in some cases riots for Black Lives Matter.  There are many things that we can take from the most recent events (Many, too much for me to say as a white woman living in Iowa).  However one thing that I want to bring up is the importance of leading with humility. 

Obviously, I am not going to boil down everything in regard to police brutality examples and Black Lives Matter to a simple matter of humility.  There are a lot of other things that are at play.  BUT I do think that this does show the issue of abusing power.  Abuse of power can happen so easily.  Anytime we are given a new position, specifically a new position over other people, there are times when we may start to abuse that newfound power over people.  However, this isn’t what is going to get the people underneath you to enjoy having you as a leader or in my opinion be as completely successful as you otherwise could be.  

I have obviously discovered this quite a bit as I was teaching.  I am in charge of youth.  I am supposed to give them instruction, grades, and when sadly needed, discipline.  There are times when that can be hard because there may be some kids that one may not get along with right away.  There were some kids that struggled to get the work that I asked of them completed.  Yet, it is very important to teach those kids with respect.  We have all had teachers or (in some cases) professors where they didn’t treat the students like people, but rather they treated them like they were not as smart or as able.  It was really important (and very much still is) that I treat students like they are people, and that I show them as much respect as possible, even when that respect isn’t given back in return at all times or right away.  This was definitely something that I had to learn this year in regard to teaching and in leadership. I still want to continue to grow in that every year.  

The thing to remember is that when anyone is in a  leadership position, there is still a good chance that mistakes are going to be made as well as a struggle to make some decisions.  It is really important to know that anyone who is in that leadership position can be willing to admit that.  We are not perfect humans.  We will never be fully perfect humans.  If a person is not willing to admit that they make mistakes and still have areas to grow, then they will not continue to grow in leadership and in skills.  This is similar to when someone, maybe even in a lower position, may have a better idea than one that you have.   Just because it was not your idea, does not mean that it wasn’t a great one.  Therefore, as a leader, it is really important to give other people under you a chance to speak up to ideas in order to all grow.   

There are going to be times when I will a mistake.  I will probably make quite a few.  This could be if I teach a concept wrong.  I sometimes forget a word in Spanish or I get a word confused with another.  Those are times that I need to make sure to be humble by, of course, correcting myself, apologize, and reteach the concept correctly.  This also includes, of course, if there are times that I get mad at a student when it isn’t justified.  I am upset with myself, but then I need to take that time to be humble. I need to take the time to apologize to the student that I got mad at, and be willing to admit that I did wrong.  I also need to be willing to take the advice and criticism that comes from my fellow teachers or leaders.  This will be the only way that I grow as a teacher and as a person.  

The best example of leading with Humility was, of course, Jesus.   Jesus showed humility through service.  He was the main leader in charge of his disciples.  His friends were not just his friends, but were calling him, teacher and master.  They were following in his footsteps.  They quit their job in order to follow him.  Yet, Jesus never gave them tasks in order for them to serve him, but rather he focused his energy on serving his followers.  For example, John 13:14-15-14 “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.”  Jesus set the example when he washed his servant’s feet as something that we should do.  

One big thing that we can take from this is that if we want to lead with humility, it is very important that no matter how big of a leader that we are or no matter what our position we are in, we never forget to serve multiple people.  Never forget that if God has put you in a position to lead a group of people, he has also called you to serve those very people.  Again, those people are not there to solely serve you, even if that is the exact thing that society teaches us about leadership.  This means that he wants you to care about their well-being, and therefore be willing to make any changes that are necessary to ensure their wellbeing.  

A leader is also called to help grow the followers and the people behind them.  In Matthew 4:19, Jesus tells his followers to, “‘Come, follow me,’ Jesus said.  ‘And I will send you out to fish for people.’” Jesus wanted to help grow his followers to be the spiritual leaders and missionaries after he would be gone and crucified.  He knew that he wouldn’t be with them forever, and he wanted them to be strong doers and speakers of the world when he wasn’t around.  This is also, as a leader, what one needs to focus on.  A main focus should be teaching people under you how to do the job, so that way you know it can be taken care of if you ever need to move on.  It takes humility to empower others as opposed to giving glory completely to yourself, but it is the only way that anything can grow and develop from the initial beginning where it started.