I have mentioned many times recently that I am a cross country coach.  This past week for me, and my mother who is also a cross country coach, was our regional cross country meet and that means this is the meet where we find out who is going to go to the Iowa state cross country meet held on October 30th.  In order to qualify for the state meet at the regional cross country meet, there are two teams that have the least points or win first and second go, or the top ten individual runners go themselves.  It is hard to achieve.  A person has to work really hard.  Both my mom and I were blessed to have two individuals achieve this high honor and make it to the state meet.  I am so proud of all my runners, but I am especially excited for the two individuals who are going to the state meet.  

According to my title, I am talking about the individual who gets 11th place. This is the first individual who doesn’t make it to state.  This individual was close, dangerously close.  Close enough that you can see it in front of you, and yet you are not the one who gets it.  Many of the runners who were in this place ended up crying.  It is a devastatingly disappointing place to receive.  You worked hard, and now it feels as though it won’t matter because you are not going to be receiving the major award.  Then you can spend your whole time thinking that if you were just ten seconds faster, you would be going or if you just would have passed that one more person, you would be going.    

The point I am going to make here is that we have all most likely been in 11th place at some point in our lives.  I am not necessarily saying that you have been in 11th place in a cross country meet, but there has been a time where we have been close to achieving something, but then ended up falling short.  These could be the times that we have applied for a job, maybe even had a job interview and then ended up not getting it.  This could be the time that you were close to getting the reward or the prize, but then you received second or you were not the one that was drawn.  The point being that every single person has felt disappointment, some small ones and then some bigger ones.  

However, those are the times that we can understand what we need to do in order to achieve what we are working towards.  This is knowing what we want to achieve in the future and seeking to achieve it.   Many of the runners that received an 11th place in that regional meet were able to start thinking about how they can continually improve their time and the way they can compete in every race.  This is also something that can be done with the help of the Lord.  1 Peter 5:10 says, “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”  The Lord knows that we will suffer, but once we have suffered, he wants us to be strengthened and established.  We can always continually be growing in any of our goals, and with the prayers to the Lord, we will develop.  

This is also a good reminder to be humble.  We all are going to have moments where we fall and where we fail.  We will have moments where we will just not measure up.   This is because we are not perfect, and we are definitely human.  That is why it is important to stay humble and to keep our belief in God.  The Lord is the only reason that a person receives success.  He is the one who has given us our talents and our opportunities.  It is not correct to feel as though we can do it on our own.  Our failures and the times that we fall can serve as our reminder that those opportunities only really do come from the Lord.  

Last, this is a good reminder that every person is a different person.  Every person is going to have different successes and failures.  Essentially, every person has a different path to success and has a different path in life.  You can not compare your path and the life lessons that you are learning to anyone else in this world.  You have your own path and your own walk.  The last reminder is that God has a plan for your life.  There will always be present pain.  There will always be present suffering and present rejection, but the Lord has worked through that and will continue to help you work through it. Romans 8:18 says, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”  The Lord has a great heart in you, and he has a belief that you will be exactly what you are supposed to be.  This is not meant to be the person that is right next to you, and this will have a different path than the person who lives next to you.   So when that person achieves the items that you want, it is good to keep a reminder that this may be their path, but it is not your path at the moment.  Not to say that you can never achieve this desire, (such as state cross country) but the Lord first wants you to learn something important first.   

The last verse that I want to highlight is Psalm 34:18 which says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”  It is alright to be crushed and to be disappointed.  I am not going to be the person who says that you need to act like everything is perfect and that you are not upset.  The Lord knows your true feelings, so you might as well be honest with him and with yourself, plus the trusted people who are around you.  Then the Lord will be with you.  The Lord will save those who are crushed in spirit.  

It is amazing to look at the book of Psalms and to see all the glorious ways that the Lord has to defend us and to care for us.  One day as I was doing my personal daily devotional, I read the verse of the day.  The verse of the day this past Monday was Psalm 68:5-6.  I found glory and comfort in the verses of Psalm 68:5-6, “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.”   Because I found this verse has a lot of good truths, I thought I would take the time to break it down in its entirety.  

“God is a father to the fatherless.”  The Lord is often called our Father.  This isn’t necessarily like our fathers who are here on earth.  Our fathers here on earth make mistakes and are human.  There are many who don’t have the best relationship with Fathers, and there are many Fathers who have chosen not to be in their child’s lives.  That is not what this Father in heaven is like in the slightest.   However, he is like our Fathers here on earth in that Fathers are supposed to take care of us, and we can go to them with anything. There are times that we make mistakes and he has to give punishments, but he does this because he continually wants us to be better people. The second line is, “a defender of widows.”  It is really important that God wanted to highlight these two groups of people.  These are often groups that are forgotten about in this world, and this was especially true when the Bible was being written.  The Fatherless didn’t have a family name that they could look to, and the widows didn’t have a husband to help provide for them.  Granted, in the United States, this isn’t exactly how we look at the widows or the fatherless now, but these groups are still missing fundamental people to how we see the traditional family.  

“Is God in his Holy Dwelling,”   The Lord is not here on earth.  He is in such a higher place than those who are in the world.  He is above the world.  He is above the sins and the problems.  That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about the tragedies or the issues that are happening in the world, but it means that when we die and have followed Jesus throughout our lives, we are going to leave this world and be with the Lord.  This is even said in the Gospels in John 14:3, “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”  The Lord has not forgotten about us as we are in tears, as we are stressed, and as we are in pain.  The Lord is going to help us as much as he can while we are on this earth, but then he will prepare a home for us.  The Lord will prepare a place for us to live and be filled with joy for eternity.  

One of my favorite parts about this verse is “he leads out the prisoners with singing.”   The Lord cares about our freedom and that we feel free.  The Lord cares about making sure we can feel secure and at peace in our relationship with the Lord.  We as people can get distracted by the sins of this world.  This could be gossip, bad habits, caring too much about other things above the Lord, etc.  The Lord doesn’t want us to stay in that place of living in sin.  He knows that oftentimes when we are constantly thinking about sin or when we have sin as a major part of our life, we are held captive.   He wants us to be free in the knowledge that we are made right with him, and we have the opportunity to live in his holy dwelling for eternity.   

I know that recently I have been struggling a lot more with how other people think of me, and that has really held me captive to my own thoughts.  I have found myself more and more concerned that I am being perceived correctly by everyone.  While it is nice to have others like you, and it is good to have friends and try to make good relationships, the goal in life should not be to have as many people as possible like you.  The only opinion that should matter is the approval of the Lord.  The Lord’s pleasure in your actions is what we should be seeking with our daily actions and thoughts.  

The last piece of these verses is, “but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.”  Even though the Lord is loving, he is also just.  If there are those who are not willing to follow the Lord’s laws, they are not going to be able to live eternally with the Lord in heaven.  I would say that this verse in it’s majority is filled with great joy and inspiration.  However, it does end with a warning.  A person can’t continually run away from the Lord.  They can’t continually live the way that they want to and never meet the Lord on this earth and live in the Holy Dwelling place.  Those who choose to live rebelliously will ultimately be punished.  That is why we as Christians must continually seek the Lord and help others to do the same. 

Dear Courtney, 

You love to learn.  You love to read.  You love to watch documentaries.  You love to listen to informational podcasts.  Specifically, you love to learn about what are some of the injustices in the world and what can be done to fix it.  You love people, so therefore you want to learn about them.  This is obviously one of the reasons that you are a Spanish teacher.  You loved learning about the Spanish language and Latin American cultures, so now you get to teach others this same passion.   

You are a doer.  Not only do you love to learn about the things of this world, but you also love to do things for the world.  You love to work for non-profits and do fundraisers that are making actual change.  It can be really hard to do this on a regular basis, and there are times when you don’t want to think about anything but your own life.  However, then you learn more and more about the injustices that are in the world, and then you remember your higher purpose of putting that learned content into action.  

You are genuine.  The way that you feel is what you express out into the world.  You genuinely love to talk to the people who you are talking to.  When you are excited, you really show it.  When you are crying, you really cry.  Life isn’t about faking emotions for you.  You really want to be the person that you are.   This is why you love your blog so much.  You love to be authentic with your thoughts and emotions.  What you write in your blog is what you are actually thinking and feeling.  

You are supportive.  You care about making sure the ones in your life feel supported.  You try to make sure to go to your student’s events, by attending as many as you can.  Sometimes you even do that above caring about yourself and your health.  You try to make sure to go to events that your friends are involved in, or you go to their family’s visitations, funerals, etc.  There are also many times you encourage your loved ones through encouraging words in cards and in gifts when you see something you know they would enjoy.  

You are creative, and you absolutely love to make something new.  You always make the joke that you want to quit your job in order to become a card marker.  Granted, you really don’t want to quit your job, but you do love to create new cards or new paintings and something different.  It is a stress reliever for you, but in the end a lot of people have cards or paintings that hopefully bring them joy.  

You do have problems with your patience.  I know that this is something that you are working on, and you are praying to the Lord, which is all you can do.  You have students now, so you know that you need to continually grow in your patience in order to help be a better teacher to the students.   You also most likely struggle with patience because you are a bit sensitive.  Sometimes you can get hurt by things that are not intentionally out to hurt you.  Then you are hurt and become more impatient.  You are continually growing in this.  Having thick skin doesn’t make you a mean person, just not one that will fall under insults as easily.  

Sincerely, 

Courtney 

Yes, this was a letter to myself, but it was one that needed to be made.  I know I am not close to being perfect.  However, the way that I have been talking to myself lately is not ok.  It is not alright.  I understand that I am listening to the words of the devil, and that is really altering the way that I am looking at myself.  I am not living then as a daughter of the Lord, but rather as a captive of the evil one.  I don’t always like having to get personal like this with myself, but it is also fundamental for starting to see myself as the way the Lord wants to see me.  I challenge all of you to do this if you are finding yourself listening more to the evil one than the Lord.  You may just have to write a letter to yourself as well.  This can easily be done on your phone or in a journal.  

Reminder that God does know you.  He loves you and wants you to always remember that.  Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”  The Lord planned for you.  He knows everything about you and planned for you to be the particular way that you are.  This is not about being arrogant, but simply only about loving yourself.  This is about making sure to love God’s creation in you. 

Recently I was reading the book, “Uncommon Ground.”  This book is written by Timothy Keller and John Inazu.  However, they do ask other writers and followers of God to also write chapters.  The first chapter of the book that I read was by a theologian Kristen Deede Johnson.  She talked about the reasons that she wanted to go into theology.  She discussed that when studying theology, she would meet many people who think differently than her.  She realized that no matter in what position she would be in life, she would be meeting those who believe different things than herself, and yet it is still her responsibility as a member of the family of God to develop relationships with them.  

One part of her chapter that really stood out to me was when Kristen realizes that she has always looked at her relationship with God as an individual, rather than when one becomes  a Christian, they are now a part of God’s family.  She admitted that she often believed that she would see her walk with the Lord as what she needs to do and what she needs to get done.  She believed that she needed to do everything, and she didn’t think that she could depend on those who were also brothers and sisters in Christ.  She started to realize that she needed to start looking to her brothers and sisters in Christ as almost teammates or family members instead of separate individuals.  

Kristen highlights a verse in the Bible of Ephesians 2:19, which says, “Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household.”  There are many followers of Christ all over the world and in our local area.  There are times that I struggle with trying to meet new Christians.  I am not the best at taking the time at church to really get to know those who are also members.  I tend to want to get back home and prepare for the school week.  However, I should really remember that if I care about my family in Christ, that I need to take time to actually get to know them.  

I am hoping in the next few weeks to join a Bible Study group at my church of other Christian women.  My hope then is that I will really get to know these women, so I will be more willing to talk to them after the church service is over.  I have gotten to know some of the parents at the church from helping out in the youth groups, but I just don’t get to spend the time having those adult conversations.  When I am getting to know them, then I know there are many ways that I can then help them out and help them grow closer in their walk with the Lord.  

This also reminds me of the first disciples.  They did everything together.  They ate supper together, worshipped together, prayed together, and discipled others together.  They did this because it was going to make everyone stronger and it was because they did believe that they should be together as a family.  This was written in Acts 2:46-47.  “Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”Again, they were growing in number because when they were acting like a model family, then there will be many others who will want to join them.  Similarly, if we have love for our fellow Christians and treat one another like family, we too can have many others want to join in the Christian walk and our Christian family.  

  We can often want to feel as though we live on an island, and I do believe that comes down a lot to our individualistic society thoughts and feelings in the United States.  We can believe that everything that we do on our own makes us better and stronger individuals.  However, there is so much more that we can accomplish when we work together.  We are not supposed to compete with one another but rather, we are supposed to work together, cheer each other on, and complete God’s work on earth.  

My challenge for all of you this week is to show a great deal of love to someone else who is a part of the family of God in your life.  Find a way to encourage them in their walk of life. One thing could always be seeing if there is anyone in the church who needs meals made for them, or an encouraging card for those who are struggling with their faith.   I know that there are times that I believe my main focus should be on serving non-believers in order to work on converting them to the Lord.  While it is important to focus attention on those who are not members of the body, so they may become members of the body, we also need to make sure that we are taking care of those who are in our “family” or in the body of Christ.  We need to make sure they are doing alright, and they are healthy.  If they are hurting, then they are a piece of the body, our body, of Christ who is hurting.  

Being in my third year of teaching, I have learned more about being a teacher from actually being a teacher, then when I was in school studying it.  I have learned from my fellow teachers and from actually being in the class.   I still have a lot to learn, but I know that I am a much better teacher starting in my third year than I was when I originally started.  What I did not expect was how much I have learned from students in these past few years.  

I will be honest when I say I have been a bit frustrated and a bit disgruntled when it comes to teaching recently.  I feel like I have been working very hard, and every day there is some problem that comes up that demands my attention, or I have had comments made at me that have discouraged and brought me down.  I am having moments where I am feeling burnt out. However, there are always those moments as a teacher that can lift my spirit and remind me of the reasons that I love to teach.  Those are again the moments when I have a good relationship with kids and I can see that they have a heart to learn both about how to be better people and about the subject that I teach, which is Spanish.  

There have been many moments as a person who teaches Spanish where I have learned from students who grew up speaking Spanish about different words or different ways they say things.  They are always wonderful to have in the classroom, so I have the opportunity to learn from them.  It can be hard because I know that I am supposed to be the teacher, so therefore I am supposed to be the person who knows everything.  However, I am very aware that I don’t have all the answers.  When a kid knows a word or two that I don’t, or there is a phrase that their family uses in Spanish that I don’t use, it is just more information that I can gain and teach to future students.  

A big portion of my job in teaching is helping my students become better people.  Sadly, there are many times when I have to get upset at incorrect or wrong behavior, and I need to remind the students to be kind, hard-working, and thoughtful.  However, there are moments in teaching (that would be considered the best moments) when students prove to me just how kind and thoughtful they really can be.  Recently I was at a volleyball game, and I saw a woman who was struggling to get up the bleachers.  I didn’t know exactly how to help her, and I was a bit frozen for a second. Then I saw one of my students offer to help the woman up the bleachers by giving her a hand that could support her on the way up.  This then inspired me to do the same. I also reached out my hand in order to help this older woman.    

This really reminded me of the verse, 1 Timothy 4:12, which says, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.”  There are many times that we can look at those who are younger than us or children as people who can’t inspire us or who can’t do as important of things as those who are adults.  However, that is not true in the slightest.  There are many moments that children can show us what it means to be good friends, good sons and daughters, and good learners because that is what they are expected to be.  When we can get to be adults, we may leave behind the idea that we need to be good at any of those things, because we have moved on to a new stage of life.

The Lord has always seen children as important to the kingdom of God.  He knows that they can look at things brightly and can be extra really good listeners to the Lord. Because of this, he would often talk to the children and use them as examples in his stories.  He was the best at spending time with children when many of his followers didn’t want to listen to them.  My challenge then for myself and for all of you this week is to spend some time listening to a child that you are near.  This could be like me with your students, it could be your own children, or it could be just some children that you are around on a regular basis.  See what they may have to say.  See what they are thinking and the kind items that they have done for others.  Then if you are a child or someone who is younger reading this, my challenge for you is to not be afraid to be an inspiration.  It can feel intimidating when you are a younger person, but there are many people who can be inspired by what you do and say.  

Recently I was reading through verses of the day, and one verse that was mentioned was Ecclesiastes 3:1 which says, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”  We as people will often go through good, happy, and fruitful times, while we will also go through times of great strife, hardship, and frustration.  It is important that we can continue to find God’s purpose even amidst those seasons.  The season that you are in may not be the most perfect season.  It may not be the place that you exactly want to be in, but it has a reason.  The Lord has something that he wants to teach you, and he wants you to grow in fruits of the spirit, so that way you can grow fruit all over the world.  He also wants to bless you, even if these are the moments when you feel very far away from blessings.  But how can we choose to see goodness even amidst those hardships?  

This past year, my word of the year has been joy, and I have tried to stay focused on something joyful that happens every day.  I have learned that when I look at something joyful everyday, I can continue to find joy in every season.   This is not always the easiest.  For example, I don’t enjoy winter.  I don’t love the cold weather.  I don’t like that the sun is down for longer periods of time throughout the day.  I don’t like that I can’t run or bike outside as much either.  However, even I have to admit that there are many beautiful things that can come out of the months that winter presides in.  Hot chocolate and other hot drinks can easily be enjoyed by a vast majority in the winter months, and often this is the season when I go to more basketball games that my students participate in.  Of course, this example was more about the actual season of winter.  When in reality, the verse is talking about seasons of life.  

 I am currently a teacher.  However, I have also had many dreams of becoming a writer and writing a novel or to work at a nonprofit.  There are many times that I can sometimes feel as though I am not in the position that I am supposed to be.  Maybe there is someone also reading who doesn’t know if they are in the right position or the right job.  Many others can also struggle with the area that they are in life when it comes to whether or not they are single or married.  I am currently single, but I can start to wonder whether or not I am going to be single forever.  When we start to become unsure if we are in the right position or whether we are in the right relationship/no relationship, the Devil or the evil one then does an extra good job about making us feel even worse about that season we are in.  

My challenge for each and every one of you right now is to think about the place that you are in, and then list three incredible blessings that come out of this season of your life.  This can be written in a journal or in the notes section of your phone.  What season are you in?  Are you a student or are you in the job world?  Are you married or single?  Are you living in a small town or are you in a large city?  Depending on the major life situation/season you are in, what are three blessings that come out of that.  I say that you should write these down, so that way you can have a reminder of the blessings and the good things that can come out of each season, even if you are not necessarily in the season that you want to be in.  

Right now, using the example that I have already mentioned: I am a teacher.  This has been a major blessing in my life because I am growing all the time in my leadership skills.  I am leading people who are younger than me, yes, but I am still in many ways leading young adults.  It is a lot of work to be able to lead people, especially all day.  I need to be creative in my lesson planning and how I teach in order to lead and teach my students better.  Another blessing is that it has taught me is, to stay on top of my work.  I know that I need to make sure I grade on a regular basis, so that I will not fall behind and students will not have grades.  Lastly, it has taught me/is teaching me on a regular basis how to have more compassion and patience with the students that I am teaching.  This is something that I am still working on, and I probably will be for the rest of my life.  But, I would not be as strong in this if I wasn’t working as a teacher.  

I pray that this exercise will help you realize what the Lord is trying to teach you during this season of your life.  I pray that you realize you are growing and that you are being blessed by the Lord, even when it can feel as though he is the farthest away that he can possibly be.  I hope the writing of the blessings down serves as a reminder to see joy in all circumstances.  

There was a long time ago when I wrote a blog post about my four power words.  One of my four power words was to advocate or to show advocacy.  I believe that this word is one that is often talked about, but it is maybe not fully understood in its fullest potential and meaning.  There are a few different definitions or ways that we can look at this word. The one definition of advocacy from Cambridge Dictionary is “public support for an idea, plan, or way of doing something:”  This means that there is a person who wants to support a certain idea or a plan that will impact a majority of people.  

What exactly then do I mean by advocacy?  This can mean a few different things, but all of the main ways I am thinking about advocacy in regards to this blog post is referring to talking to the people that are in our government about the issues and the concerns to hopefully get them fixed.  I mean talking to the members of Congress through various different forms.  This could be signing a petition or sending a thoughtfully worded email.   Then there are also ways that one can call a person in position of power and try to make changes based on what is happening in the world.  

One of the main things that I would say that I am a major advocate for is anti-human trafficking and anti-modern day slavery.  There are many reasons that I am fighting against this so hard, and it has become my biggest passion throughout my life, even if it originally started out as just an extra curricular that I could do when I was in college to look better on my resumé.  However as I learned more and more about the problems and the slavery that is in the world, I could not just stand by through hearing the stories and the problems and not do anything to stop it.  

Another way to think of advocacy is to think of advocating or helping someone else.  This may even just be defending someone.  There are many times when people need someone else to defend them.   Every single person has experienced a time when we have seen someone being bullied or made fun of in front of us.  It can be really easy to pretend as though we do not see it.  This can also be when we see someone being made fun of from a distance and it is when they are certainly not there to defend themselves.  It can become especially easy to not defend another person when they are not around, but that is when it becomes the most prevalent and we can really show our loyalty and love to them from a distance.  

There are many reasons that I say advocacy is very important.  One of those reasons is that it teaches the importance of selflessness.  When one is focused on advocacy, they are less focused on themselves.  They are thinking about people on a larger scale.  You are not just fighting for an individual person, but rather a large group of people.  You are working for the world to be a better place for all individuals.  

Secondly, the Lord also thought that advocacy was important.  It is commonly mentioned in the bible when Jesus reminded everyone that they need to take care of the widows, homeless, and those who do not know the Lord.  However, the Bible even mentioned the idea of advocacy as early as Proverbs.  In Proverbs 31 8:-9, it says,  “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”  The Lord wants everyone to speak up for those who are helpless and not as strong.  He finds them just as valuable as anyone else, even when the world does not.  There are those moments when it can be easier to look away from someone being hurt or ridiculed, but the life of a Christian was never one that was meant to be easy.  

Thirdly, the other important piece of advocacy is being able to use your voice.  The United States has a government where the people have an opportunity to be a part of the decisions and changes that are being made.  This means more than just getting the chance to vote for who will be in presidency and who will be governor.  We also have an opportunity to talk to those who are in power.   A majority of their job is to listen to the people who they are in charge of.   There are many times when we can believe that we are not contributing to the world that we are in.  We can see the bad things that are happening in the United States.  This can leave us feeling hopeless and helpless.  When one advocates and chooses to use their voice for a positive outcome, we can actually make an impact and make a change.  

At the end of the day, I am a big believer in one finding something they are passionate about and being willing to fight and make changes out there in the world.  This can be at a small scale when you are willing to save or help the person standing next to you to the bigger scale of fighting for a major cause you believe in.  Go out there and find your passion and make this world an overall better place. 

In this past week’s blog post, I wrote that one of my challenges was for everyone to find one passage to meditate on for the whole week.  The passage that I chose to meditate on was John 15:1-17.   I meditated on it everyday, and then I would write down something new that I discovered and thought about from the passage.  Because I read through this passage once a day this week, there were different items that popped up to me, and they are not in the order that the chapter goes in. 

Day 1: I originally chose this passage because I was reading about it in the book, “Jesus” by Charles Swindoll.  He wrote something that hit me hard, especially if you know how I am struggling with feeling inadequate, yet feeling like I need to do everything.  This passage states that a person can not bear any fruit unless they remain in God, similar to how a branch can not bear fruit without being attached to the vine.  Often, we want to believe that we can achieve our life goals, create a ministry, and get all of our works done (essentially creating fruit) without God.  We can’t.  I can’t.  It has been a hard thing for me to accept, but the truth of the matter is that I can not.  I am not meant to.  I am God’s workmanship or vine to reach the world, but I am not meant to leave his side or go AWOL and do it on my own.  If I continue to try to do life on my own, apart from God, I will only end up doing more and more work, and it will not be profitable.  

As I read through this passage on day two, I was struck by how much this passage talks about God’s love and how we as his people need to stay in his love in order to feel his full love and joy.  This is seen in verses 10 and 11, “If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”  There is undeniable joy that comes from abiding in the Lord’s love.  Yes that may mean needing to obey his commandments and make sure that we are doing the hard tasks, but that is the way that we will always continuously feel his love.  This is also why we need to make sure we spread that love to the others around us.   

On the third day, I noticed that the passage really wants to highlight that God is the gardener and will get rid of all the fruits/vines that don’t bear any fruit.  When a gardener prunes, they cut off branches in order that the dead areas can be removed to make room for new life and life-giving branches to come in.  It can be really difficult to go through the pruning process.  It isn’t easy to get things cut off from us and to be changed in healthier ways, but at the end of the day that is going to be something that really gets us to be in a better position than we were before.  The Lord has to sometimes use experiences that are not the most easy or the most encouraging in order to grow more fruit or to become more and more Christ-like.  The Lord knows that there are times when we may have to grow through experiences that we don’t necessarily always enjoy, but if this is going to help us grow as Christ followers and help us spread God’s word, then it is worth the hard process.    

On the fourth day, I really noticed the last couple of verses.  This includes verse 16 which I will lay out here, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.”  The Lord has chosen us.  Isn’t that a wonderful and amazing feeling? The Lord has chosen us to be someone who can spread God’s word and be God’s workmanship.   There can be times when we can feel really inadequate and not meant for anything, but the Lord has seen our potential through working through him and knows that we can bear him fruit.  Don’t ever feel as though you can’t be used by God.  If he has chosen you for something, he doesn’t make mistakes.  

On the fifth day, I noticed verse 8 which says, “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”  When we allow the Father to work in us and to work through us, we bear much fruit.  When we bear that fruit, then we will show the world God’s glory.  We will be the Lord’s disciples and that is how the Father’s message will get out.  This, again, though, will only happen when the Lord is at work.  We can not be God’s disciples without the help of himself.  Another thing that I noticed from that day five was that those who don’t abide with the Lord, will be ones who wither and fall away.  We again won’t be able to fully prosper for the Lord if we are not abiding in him.  Burnout is a very real feeling, and it will happen when we are trying to do too much without the Lord on our side.  

I know this is different from a usual blog post for me, but I think that it is important that I take my challenges that I write in my current blog posts seriously.  I knew that spending time writing about the passage I spent time with this week was a good way to hold me accountable and make sure I take a deep look at just one small passage from the Lord.  It was a very good feeling to read over this passage and really take in the truths that are held in 17 verses.  I would love to hear the passages you pored over this past week if you had any, or if you are going to plan on doing that this following week.  

My friend and roommate for the summer, Shaniese, was recently talking about a friend’s mom that is a major prayer warrior, and then used the term, being in tune with her Holy Spirit.”  I realized that this is something I haven’t thought much about.  I know that I have the Holy Spirit. I know that it is a part of the trinity, but do I know and am in tune with my Holy Spirit?  What does that even really mean?  Like many of my blogs, I am going to try to figure this out and reflect on it in order to grow.  My initial reaction or thought is that those who are in tune with the Holy Spirit are ones who look to the Holy Spirit for advice and usually know what the best reaction or item is that they should do.  It is also a person who can look around at others and know what to pray not just for themselves but for ones around them.  

In my past, I have written a blog post about the song, “Holy Spirit,” by Francesca Batistelli, and I have written a blog post about prayer.  I believe that this idea is similar to the blog post I wrote about prayer, but a bit deeper.  I believe that one who is in tune with their Holy Spirit is a person who deeply cares about prayer and believes that it is an important piece to one’s devotional life.  However, being in tune with your Holy Spirit is also being able to understand more and more of what God really wants to do and having an understanding and a better sight about what others need and how you can be praying for them.   I believe that in order to be able to really know what God is desiring, one has to be willing to meditate on God’s word and be willing to listen to the words God is wanting to tell you. 

I am not necessarily a person who is an expert on meditation.  In fact, for a long time, I didn’t think it was something that I should do.  Not because it was necessarily evil, but I thought that it was something that was associated with other religions.  However, there are times in the Bible when it says to meditate on the word of God.   For example, there is the Bible verse of Joshua 1:8, “Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.”  This, therefore shows that it is completely fine to meditate as long as you are meditating on the right things and this definitely includes the word of God.  One will be more in tune with the Holy Spirit if they know the right commands and lessons that the Lord wants to teach them.  For my first challenge in this blog post for both myself and others is to spend time on one passage this week.  It can be a short passage, but it is something that you can meditate on, maybe even memorize in order to grow closer to the Lord.  

The other big area where we may need to give a lot of time in meditation is in prayer and our daily conversations with God.  I read a book called Meditation by Jim Downing.  In this, there is a discussion of God’s desire of communion.  “Communion, then, is a two way communication, an alternating impact of two personalities where we listen intently and then share intently with the other person; there is an actual sharing of lives involved.  This is what God wanted to do when he said to Moses, ‘I want to commune with thee.’ It was God’s idea; it was his desire, not Moses.” I had never really thought about communion that way, but when you think about it, God was having a meal with his disciples when there was the first communion.  To this day, we think about having communion, we are having bread/crackers and wine/grape juice in remembrance of the last supper for Jesus, but really it is like having a meal with the Lord.  

Another big piece about being in tune with your Holy Spirit, I have found, is that one needs to be willing to listen to the Holy Spirit.  I always struggled with this when I was a kid.  I didn’t understand how one could listen to God or listen then to the Holy Spirit.  As I have gotten older, I have only improved in this a little bit.  I, like many others, still struggle with this on a regular basis. My other challenge for you that I am also going to try is to make sure to spend 5 minutes in complete silence after saying a prayer.  I am going to start doing this at least three times a week and then it will hopefully become a part of my regular routine.  This will not be the thing that I am very used to.  I will not necessarily enjoy sitting in complete silence, but I know that I need to spend time in prayer but also spend time listening to the Lord and what he has to say.  Through our meditation, both in our prayer lives and in our daily reading of God’s word, I believe that we can all be people who know and understand and are, therefore, in tune with our Holy Spirits.  

If any of you are like me, then sometimes you can overcommit yourself.  I have a bit of a problem with getting myself too involved and then end up being very busy and incredibly exhausted.  I was really bad at doing this when I was in college.  I got myself into many different jobs and leadership opportunities.  I loved all of it, but there were times I got really excited to have a break.  I am now noticing that as I am approaching my third year of teaching, that I am starting to get more and more involved in the school and community around me and that I am doing the same thing I did in college.  I am now coaching two activities, speech and cross country, and I am helping with bookkeeping in basketball.  I am also getting more and more involved in church and still volunteering with IJM.  I love doing all these things, but now I am more and more busy and I am finding I have less free time.  

One day I was reading my Bible, and I found a story that really summed up this idea of overcommitting yourself.  To give some context for these verses, Moses was leading the Israelites before they were in the promised land and was listening to any problems the people were having.  He would listen to both sides and would then inform them of God’s decrees and laws.  There were a lot of problems that arose, so Moses was finding himself incredibly busy listening to all the problems. “Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good.  You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out.  The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.”  (Exodus 18: 17-18) To continue with his advice, Moses’s father in law then told him to find other God fearing men to listen to the people’s problems and help them dispute it in God’s way.  Moses was still going to be doing the work that the Lord had put in front of him, but he was now going to be splitting the jobs amongst others who can be trusted with the Lord’s work.  

I think that it is important that if you struggle to be like me or like Moses in the Bible to think about why we feel we have to do everything?  Is there a deeper reason why we need to keep ourselves busy?  I want you to spend some time in reflection on this, (like I have recently).  I have discovered that my reasoning is I have a bit of a savior complex, and I need to feel validated by all the things that I am involved in.  I am afraid that if I am not super involved and not as busy as possible, that I am not important.  When I first got to college, and I wasn’t involved in anything yet, I didn’t know who I was.  I didn’t think I was important.  The very same thing happened when I first moved to Buffalo Center and started teaching.   I didn’t think that I had an identity besides merely being the Spanish teacher.  This may very well be one of the reasons I felt the need to get involved in many things quickly, besides the pure love of my activities.   The problem with this is that many others in the United States really do struggle with the idea of putting their complete identity into their work and the items that they accomplish.  However, this can also very easily lead to more and more anxiety and stress.  What happens when you fail or don’t measure up to the standards that you had originally set?  What happens when things don’t go as planned?  This is a lot to think about and it can leave many others in a constant state of worry and ultimately feeling as though they are incomplete.  

I was recently looking at an article that discussed the toxicity of the hustle culture written by headversity.  This article stated that when we are in a constant state of hustle or working till the work is done without any rest, our bodies are put in the constant state of fight or flight, and therefore releasing more cortisol into our bodies.  This increased and prolonged release of cortisol leads to many mental health problems including anxiety and depression.  It also usually creates burnout as our bodies will eventually create the rest they have been desperately needing.  I am not saying that it isn’t good to work hard.  I believe that hard work is essential, and our willingness to work for both others and the organizations that we serve actually puts us in a great position to honor the Lord and show others how to do that as well, but when it becomes the only thing we care about, then it starts to become an idol.  That won’t show God’s glory.  

It is also important to realize that if we believe we need to do everything on our own, then we are showing quite a bit of arrogance. I know that sounds harsh, but the reason that I say that is because when we believe that we need to do anything, it may be because we have this idea that we are the only ones who can adequately get everything done.  We may start to think that we are the only ones who can be depended upon, or that we are the best for every single job that we do.  That can start to get a really rough outlook on others and what they can bring to the table.  Even though it can be a hard thing to understand at certain times, we actually can learn more from others doing a task.  Someone is going to be better at a task than you, and we are not going to discover this if we never let them try.  Plus, we could be standing in the way of helping them find their purpose and role in life and for the Lord.  

If you find yourself that you maybe are over committed, there are a few things that you need to do.  I realized that soon if I continue down the path that I am going towards, I am going to have to do some cutting back on some items.  I am going to need to do some serious evaluating as to what items I need to keep in my life and what other things I need to start getting rid of.  However, the one thing that I would recommend when it comes to thinking about cutting back or starting to say no to things is making sure that you pray.  The Lord is really the only one who can help us make the wisest decisions.  Because making prayer here is a priority, it is also really important that we keep the devotional and prayer piece in our life every day or at least most days.  We need to make sure that whatever schedule we pick, we have a time with the Lord set aside.   

In the end, we have been taught at least if you are living in the United States to really want to strive and to hustle through life.  However, that again, can make a lot of us feel as though we fall short and have the need to continue going until we are in a very overworked system.  The Lord doesn’t expect us to do everything.  He expects us to take the opportunities and passions that he has given us and to handle it well.  Again, my favorite verse is Colossians 3:23 which says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”  When doing whatever you can for the Lord, that also includes not overworking yourself.  You don’t need to look like you are a superhero and can do so much.  It is just important that we are just faithful with the items that we have been given.