You Need some “No” People:

I have been watching a lot of bridal drama recently.  (It is a guilty pleasure. Maybe it’s not the best but it is entertaining).  One video has gotten really popular on social media, and I do believe it can teach us a very big life lesson. 

The video is of a bride, who decided to wipe off all her bridal makeup her makeup artist just completed.  Now, this could just be seen as a loss of money.  She didn’t like it, so she got rid of it, even though she already paid the makeup artist. This was her decision at the end of the day. However, the main problem was she didn’t vocalize anything or any problems when she was in the makeup artist’s chair, and then she makes this video discussing her frustration with the look of her makeup.  Her makeup artist is also tagged or mentioned, so essentially this puts the bride’s makeup artist and her small business in jeopardy. One comment this bride made during the video was “Oh, I can’t wait to make a TikTok about this.”  I do believe this was a bit immature and unkind to do.  

While I do have a problem with this bride being this cruel to her makeup artist, I do believe her issue was more than just being immature.  Her problem was her bridesmaids and friends hyping her up. We could hear them in the background. She was being told by the bridesmaids that she should definitely do her own makeup and she does a better job than the makeup artist would.  They were hyping her up to do the wrong thing as opposed to the right and kind thing. 

I understand weddings can be stressful, so this bride may have just been in an anxious state. She might have heard someone say they didn’t love her makeup and therefore felt as though she really needed to redo her makeup all over.  Again, there is no problem if she really did want to waste her money and end up redoing her makeup for her wedding day.  The problem really was her deciding to put all that drama and information about the makeup artist on her social media for anyone to see and hear.  This was only going to be hurting the make-up artist feelings and possibly career.  

What this bride needed was someone to tell her “no, stop.  You can redo your makeup, but since you didn’t speak up and state your problems with the makeup artists, you don’t need to make a TikTok about this situation.  You do not need to be this mean or malicious.  I understand it is your wedding day, but you need to still be thinking about other people.  Let’s redo the makeup quickly if that is what you want, but then we have to get on with the rest of our day.” This is a type of response from friends who are reasonable and who hold you accountable.

The Bible talks a lot about the importance of friendships and how it is important to be wise and loving with your friends.  One verse I really want to highlight is 1 Corinthians 15:33 which says, “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” This is a reminder that we need to always be conscious of the decisions we are making or the people we have around us.  They really can impact the decisions we make for the better or for the worse.  

 I am not saying you can’t have some people around you who are supportive. Having “no people” does not necessarily mean they are not supportive, but it is important to have supportive friends who will also make sure you don’t do something terrible or are acting not in the way you usually do.  It is important to have friends, partners, or really any kind of relationship with people who will hold you accountable and want you to be the best person you can possibly be.  This is the kind of friends you should want.   

My challenge for you this week is to spend time thinking about your friendships and the people you have around yourself.  Are you easily persuaded?  Are you around those who could easily persuade you to do the wrong thing? If you are finding your friends are majorly “yes, people,”  It can be a good idea to rethink some of your friendship dynamics for a few more friends who will give you solid advice.  

I also think it is just as important to be the friend who holds other people accountable.  It is important to make sure we are supportive friends, friends who are there for others, but friends who also can tell their friends when they are being ridiculous or are making a wrong choice.  It is good to be the friend who can give good, loving, and Godly advice.  This is the type of friend God wants us to be.  My other challenge for you this week is to be reflective over whether or not you are this type of friend.  Are you the type of friend who will give Godly advice? Are you the type of friend who will tell your other friend to stop when they are making the wrong choice?  Are you willing to say the thing that your friend needs to hear, not just want to hear.   

This will be something I need to work on as well.  I believe I can sometimes be a Godly friend, but I also don’t love conflict or offending others.  I can be fearful, but if my friends know me and love me, they should know I am giving them Godly advice because I care about them and want to hold them accountable.  This is the same thing you should think about if this idea is something you are not quite used to.