Dear Papa, again:

Hello again, It has been a while since I have spent some time writing to you. but it is the three year anniversary of you going home, so I thought I would take this time to talk to you.  There has been a lot that has happened recently, so I really needed to fill you in on all the new things that have occurred in this past year.      

I got a new job, and I moved back to Cedar Falls.  I remember you and I going to UNI football games and I remember you always keeping up with the UNI basketball team, so hopefully you would be happy I have moved back to Cedar Falls, back to where I made so many memories in college.  I am working at a nonprofit now.  I did love teaching and my four years at North Iowa, but I always knew that this is where my dreams were taking me.  I think that you also knew that, so hopefully you would be happy to know I have achieved this dream. 

I am going to be teaching financial literacy lessons to all grades.  I am very excited for this new experience.  I am excited to be giving life lessons to those who are in Waterloo, to the kids and the families who really need this opportunity to gain finances and financial literacy lessons.  I think that you would have enjoyed hearing about this work.  You would probably give a lot of good insight to my lessons and my preparations.  

I also wanted to tell you that I have published a devotional book.  You knew I always loved to read books especially Christian books and devotionals.  I used to write personalized devotionals for people when I was younger.  I am pretty sure I gave a few to you and grandma.  I am so happy that one of my lifelong goals was finally achieved, and I have finally published a piece of writing.  

I spoke at my old Laurens Library, and I talked about how I have always loved to write, but I definitely did more writing after you went home.  I had a lot of words in my head that needed to be flushed out and put to paper.  I hope that you don’t mind that I put you in part of my writing story, but it is so true.  Ever since I have lost you in this world, I have grown more in my writing and my desire to write.  I also sell my devotional book at a local store in Cedar Falls where I work once a month.  That is actually a really fun experience. I know you would have loved to come and visit me selling my book and the other works that are there.  

Mom and I went to the Hawkeye game last year! It was the first time she had been there since you went home.  I knew she wouldn’t buy tickets on her own because she is pretty sad about losing you and missing you, so I decided to buy the tickets myself and give them to her as a very early Christmas present.  We went to the Heroes game or the Nebraska v. Iowa game.  Sadly, the Hawkeyes played awful in the first half, so they lost.  You would have been upset by the work the team was putting in.  However, the time my mom and I got to have was awesome.  We didn’t have a hot dog, though.  We did think of you when we passed a hot dog stand.  We also went to the Amana colonies which was a great day to spend shopping (your favorite pastime I write sarcastically). 

I still miss you a lot.  The past two Sundays I have broken out in cries.  I would say that happens every month or every other month.  I hope you wouldn’t be upset to know that.  I know you wouldn’t want me to cry so much. Time is healing, but it is not 100% fixing the problem and the hurt.  I also know the other family members have really been affected by your absence.  I hope you will think of grandma.  She misses you a lot.  I hope you can give her some peace to know you are here at least in some way.  

I have gotten to be there for a lot of friends when they have been going through some kind of grief.  I have been able to offer condolences and really be able to relate and be there for them in different ways.  One verse that sticks out to me for any pain  as well as when I am helping others who are struggling after loss is Revelation 21: 4, “‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”  This is a good reminder that God will be there for those who have been struggling with any pain that is in this world.  

I hope that you are making memories wherever you are.  I know that God is just as amazing as he has always been described.  

Till I talk to you again, 

Love, Courtney

I do pray also for anyone who is reading this blog post to feel uplifted.  I hope you know the person who you are missing is looking down upon you in some way/ This has also been a very good reminder for me to reach out to those I love.  This is a reminder to make sure everyone who has been in my life knows that I love them, and I care about them.  You never know when it may be someone’s last days or minutes, so I pray that you find those people to really spend a great amount of time with.