Toxic Positivity:

The first time I heard the phrase, Toxic Positivity, I remember being really confused.  I didn’t understand how you could have toxic positivity.  This sounds like an oxi-moron. So what exactly is toxic positivity?  Toxic positivity is when people expect others to be so positive that they can’t express emotions other than ones of joy, and happiness.  Basically having any other attitude is not accepted or permitted.  While living in a world filled with joy, happiness, and perfection sounds like a great time, there are so many other emotions that are present in our world.  

Why is this important?  This is important to highlight because we as people are going to have emotions other than positive ones.  We are going to have moments where we are sad or where we are angry or frustrated.  Acting like those feelings don’t exist is not necessarily profitable if we just keep them hidden away.  I am a teacher, and I know that personally as a teacher in this day and age, we often feel exhausted, frustrated, and underappreciated.  It is not that we don’t love our jobs, but we are having to monitor student learning, argumentative parents, and disrespect, and this has only increased since the pandemic.  This type of environment is hard, and we as teachers need to have moments where we can say not everything is positive, happy, and delightful.  

I do believe that Toxic Positivity can serve as a good reminder that we as people need to have perspective.  I just recently was reading a book called, “And Still She Laughs,” where we need a perspective on some items and times in our lives where we can overreact and be under-appreciative of what we have in life.  If there isn’t a loss of life, and this isn’t going to destroy anything, then we really need to keep in check how much emotion we put into something.  We need to be willing to see how we can sometimes take the smaller items and make them into bigger ones.  One example I have of this is when I was 23, and I found out that I needed another knee surgery.  This was already going to be my second one, on the same knee. I was really upset.  I cried a lot that day.  This meant four weeks on crutches, and it meant that I couldn’t run.  However, later that day I found out a girl my age had a rare case of Lou Gherig disease (two years later she would pass away).  It was not great not being able to run and walk for a few weeks.  However, I did need the perspective to realize that I would most likely heal from this surgery and would grow from this experience, and it could have been much worse.  I was still blessed to have my health mostly intact.  

So what is the balance here?  What does the Bible have to say about our emotions that are very real and very truthful, but yet they are not necessarily positive?  One verse I found that does a really good job at talking about this belief is Ecclesiastes 3:4, which says,“a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”  There is a time for everything in life.  There are going to be times to mourn, but there are going to be times to dance.   However, it is very important to be thankful for everything that we have received.  The Lord is good all the time. The Lord is good in the bad circumstances, and he is good in the good circumstances.  Philippians 4:4 is a great showcase of this, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”  This is a good reminder that we don’t have to live our lives with the belief that everything is butterflies and rainbows.  We don’t have to believe that everything is perfect. However, we do need to worship the Lord.  We do need to rejoice and be an example of God’s workmanship, no matter the circumstance.  

It is also important to realize that we need to be aware of other’s circumstances. It is important that we are sensitive to what many others are going through.  In Job, God actually was upset with Job’s friends because they were not sensitive to Job or his circumstances. While they were saying things like, “God is good,” which is truthful, they were not making themselves aware of his well-being.  It is important that we weep with those who weep.  It is important that we are willing to listen and be there for our brothers and sisters and to help guide them through both the good times and the bad times.  This takes more work than, “It will be ok,” but it will mean so much more in the end.  

There are going to be rough times.  There are going to be times that we cry and want to get away from the situation.  However, it is important that we don’t just try to cover up a situation with a bandage like toxic positivity wants us to.  We have to be willing to feel our emotions while talking to the Lord.  Tell him your thoughts and feelings.  Go to him in prayer.  Continue to give him praise and be grateful, but don’t be fake with the Lord or with others.  However, once you have worked through those emotions, then live your life to the fullest with joy.