Patience in the small things:

I have noticed in my life in the last few years that I tend to get really mad, really impatient, and even upset with God over the little things that pop up into my life.  This could be losing my phone at a cross country meet, locking my keys in my car, spilling the noodles for my Mac and cheese, etc.  No doubt these are frustrating moments.  These are things that put us behind, make us do extra work in something that wasn’t planned. These are the moments that I start grumbling, or I start cursing.  I am ashamed of these moments, and I knew that I needed to take some time reflecting on why I can get so upset over these little things.  

However, the thing that bothers me the most is that I do get upset with God in these moments.  I yell up to heaven and I ask why there are these small inconveniences that have to pop up in my life.  I will usually have guilt about this and pray for forgiveness quickly after. It is strange to think that when my grandpa or my aunt died, however, I never got mad at the Lord.  These were big tribulations that never made me question the Lord’s love for me.  I never was upset because I knew that the Lord said there were going to be hard things that come up in life. I think the reason for this is because I have this terrible thought, probably from Satan, that the Lord is laughing at me in my small inconveniences.  I start to wonder if the Lord is finding enjoyment out of my struggles.  This is a piece of entertainment for him as I run around trying to find the small thing that I lost or hitting my head on a cabinet.  Satan is very good at using our weak moments against us to attempt to drive a wedge between us and the Lord.  

However, the thing that I believe the Lord is trying to teach us, and specifically me, in these small inconveniences is that we need to slow down.  There are many times that I get stuck trying to do 10 things at once, so I can get a million things done in a day.  When I am going to school or I am working in the summer, I am on a very strict schedule.  Therefore, I am so very upset and impatient when my plans get ruined.   The Lord, I believe, is trying to teach me that I don’t need to get all of those things done.  I don’t have to make such a hectic schedule, and I don’t have to be everywhere at once.  I also know that I would actually lose less items and would forget less things if I did slow down.  If I took my time, and I didn’t get concerned about getting all those things done, I would probably less frequently forget to do something or I wouldn’t misplace things as much because I took the time to put them in the correct place.  

I think that the Lord is also often trying to remind me that I am just a human being, and that I need to be humble.   I am often very proud of myself for how much I can get accomplished in a day.  I am always so happy if I can keep myself on track.  When I have a lot of these mishaps, I am reminded that often the things that I achieve in a day are only able to be achieved from the Lord.  The moments where the little things are going wrong should be a reminder that I am not meant to achieve everything on my own.  It is ok, more than ok, to ask others for help, and definitely to pray to the Lord for guidance and assistance.  

There are many times that the Bible brings up patience.  Obviously the biggest lesson is that we need to have patience in times of trial and tribulation, but it is also highly important to have patience in everyday life. One verse I found that discusses patience is Proverbs 14:29.  This says, “Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.”  This is a good reminder that when one is patient, they are also understanding, empathetic, and have a better handle on situations and relationships that are taking place on earth.  This also is a good reminder that those who don’t have patience, and those who get upset about the smaller things look foolish.  

I am still going back and forth on whether or not I will pick the word patience, or I will pick the word courage as my word of the year for 2022.  These are the two words that I feel I need the most growth in, and I have felt this way since I was a child. I think this is something that I do really need to consider because I do really need to make sure I am working on patience in the small items and in just everyday life.  I don’t want to get impatient and curse underneath my breath when I am behind someone slow on the road.  I don’t want to get instantly mad when I can’t seem to find the item that I had just misplaced.  I want to continually grow to be a calm and peaceful human on earth as often as I can in order to serve as a better example of the Lord.