Empowering women

“Empowered women empower women.”  Lately this is one of my favorite quotes.  It is completely 100% true.  However, really what does this quote entirely mean? What does it mean to be empowered?  The definition of empowered from the Merriam-Webster dictionary is “having the knowledge, confidence, means, or ability to do things or make decisions for oneself.”  An empowered woman is a woman who knows her own self-worth and is very able to do things on her own, independently. This might not mean all the time.  We all need help from time to time, and we all should be very dependent on Jesus, but you are at least willing to do the tasks that you have been assigned to the best of your ability on your own.  

The definition also included, you are also confident enough in themselves. She knows who she is.  She also knows whose she is.  This is important.  When a woman is completely confident, she is not easily swayed by other people around her.  She also is not as easy to fall into the very easy trap of jealousy and comparison that may seem prettier, nicer, more athletic, more musical, etc.  She won’t be swayed because she is happy with her talents and her personality. She knows that she was made great just the way that she is.  

 We as women have learned to embody this comparison in many negative ways.  Our jealousy towards other women can eat us up alive. There is often an idea that we almost need to take down another girl in order for us to achieve.   Just watching teen movies, there is a constant fight between the main mean girl and the mean, popular girl.  (I do realize that this can also often happen with boys throughout their time in high school for some movies, but for right now I am focusing on the story of women.)  This needs to be the opposite. We need to focus our attention on helping the next woman in line feel confident once we do. 

The Bible has many reasons as to why one should not fall into this form of jealousy or comparison. This is because jealousy and comparison is only something that is going to hurt ourselves.  “Proverbs 14:30  A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.”  Granted, this comparison and jealousy won’t actually make our bones rot, but this comparison and jealousy can make us sick inside.  However the peace inside that one can have will make everything in life brighter.  

I have a perfect example of this.  I will never forget that there was this one day that I ran a 15K which in non-runner speak means 9.3 miles.  It was the farthest I had ever run at that time.  I was so happy and proud of myself.  I would look at the participation medal and jacket and just smile.  I had been training for that race for months.  However, then I saw a post by a girl I know who is a year younger than me talking about finishing her half marathon, 13.1 miles, in a time that was impressive to say the least.  I was immediately disheartened.  I knew this girl.  She was even a year younger than me, and yet she was able to do something I couldn’t do.  I almost didn’t care that I had just achieved a great goal of mine.  

The response that I had at that time in high school was not a response of an empowered woman, maybe a girl who was working her way towards that, but not completely there.  This made me shame myself and my body who I felt like couldn’t compete.  I didn’t have a tranquil heart at all, but rather a sickening disappointment. Later on, I would eventually set a goal to run a half marathon, and after a few years of training as well as one failed attempt to make one without stopping, I ran a half marathon.  It is still one of my proudest accomplishments.  And, even though that day I saw other people I know run the same race in a shorter time, I was not going to be disappointed by anything. Because at that time, I was starting to learn that just because someone can do something better than you, doesn’t mean that you have to quit or become frustrated. You can always be inspired and have a desire to do better, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy for the highs along the way. I had a space in the runner’s world, as did the other runners.  I wasn’t kicked out of the nonexistent club of runners because I wasn’t as fast or didn’t run a full marathon.  This is what it means to be empowered.  I was realizing that I loved to do something that other women do, and that it is ok that we both do it, even if the one does it better. 

I am never going to say that I don’t get jealous today.  It is still something that I struggle with on a day to day basis.  But, I don’t want that jealousy to ruin things that I love about myself or things that I am proud of.  I was made by God, and he made me the exact way that he wants me.  This is something that I always need to remember.  You also must remember that.  You were made perfectly by God and are deeply loved.  This is especially true when it comes to my relationship with Jesus.  My relationship with Jesus and my ministry opportunities is something that I need to focus on for myself.  If I am constantly concerned about being as spiritual, as religious, reading the Bible more, then I am not focused on the right things.  I am more concerned about “looking” Godly and righteous, than actually “being” Godly and righteous.  Being inspired by another woman is perfectly acceptable, but when it becomes a comparison filled with jealousy and anger, then we are approaching a problem.   

Once we have that confidence starting to focus less on our jealousy and comparison, we can start to look at encouraging and empowering others around us.  Empowering women or straight up encouraging the people around us, is also a very Godly command.  It is a very Godly thing when we spend the time encouraging one another.  “1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” Seeing other women’s gifts and encouraging them in their gifts, is incredibly important.  Even being willing to help mentor them in their confidence and happiness over their life is completely life-fulfilling.  

I also believe that it is very important to support, pray, and encourage empowering women organizations.  There are also many organizations that I love to pray over in regard to empowering women.  This is helping girls and women recovering from sexual trauma, women and girls in other countries not being able to be educated, or achieve any of their dreams.  Just taking the time to pray about these organizations will go a long way in this world.  

(Side note, while this blog post was about the quote, empowered women, empower women.  It is important to note that anyone can struggle with comparison, not matter what age or gender.  Overcoming this jealousy and comparison is important no matter who you are.  I know as a woman, that I and many women friends have struggled with this in many ways.)