This last month, March, was women’s history month. Coincidentally, I also happened to read two books about Godly women for my devotionals throughout the month.  These were two books that described in great detail, stories about godly women and how they inspired many, both men and women, in their devotion and love for the Lord.  

One of the books that I read this month was “Hearts of Fire: Eight Women in the Underground Church and their Stories of Costly Faith.”  This book was written by the Voice of the Martyrs, and it showcased women who were Christian when many others were forcing them to be otherwise.  Even if they were living in places that didn’t allow Christianity and certainly didn’t allow proselytizing, these women leaned in to their love of the Lord as opposed to following society’s standards and rules.  Even when these women were being beaten, imprisoned, separated and disowned by their families, they still continued to share the Gospel with the people around them, would continue to hand Bibles out even though they were illegal books, and forgive the people that would hurt them tremendously. These women knew that nothing in this earth could ever be as great or as important as following the Lord, and therefore they were willing to give up everything in this world for him.  

One of the women that really inspired me from this book was Tara.  Tara’s story really started when she was a young girl living with her family.  Tara was a scholar in the fact that she ordered and completed a Bible Study kit just because she had a desire to learn more about Christianity.  She had no plan to convert to Christianity, while that is exactly what happened, but just to study and learn more about the people that are around her in the world. However, the problem was when her father found her Bible.  In the country that Tara lived, they were not allowed to be a Christian or at the very least you would not be accepted or respected. Tara’s father and brother beat Tara in order to “knock some sense into her,” but Tara would eventually be able to escape.  This was actually the moment when Tara would really dedicate her life to Jesus. She had fallen in love with reading the Bible and the Lord who had wrote it. The rest of the chapter showcases Tara’s desire to read and study the Bible, even becoming a secretary in her church.  She would have to continue to spend some of her life running away from her father and brother until she would eventually get married. She would start a ministry of evangelizing and speaking to Christians who have converted from Islam. She could have been defeated by her family’s beatings.  She very easily could have lied about her conversion to Christianity, but she took her experience and made it an encouraging story of following the Lord.  

The other book that I read this last month was “7 Women” by Eric Mataxas.  This book followed 7 stories about famous women in history who were known for their greatness.  Majority of the women most people will recognize such as Joan of Ark, Rosa Parks, and Mother Theresa.  Eric did a great job showcasing the woman’s life story and specifically why they are great. Each of the women in this book inspired multiple people and helped lead an army, hid people from Nazis, worked against the Trans-Atantic Slave Trade, and helped the poor in India.   All these women listened to God’s call and had the courage to follow it.  

Hannah More in particular was a woman who was gifted with a wonderful writing gift.  She was a playwright and a poet who could move people to tears and compel people to join a movement.  Hannah would be incredibly close to William Wilberforce, and would help his political movement against the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade.  Her writings about the slave trade made many people realize that it was an evil and inhumane act. She was incredibly intelligent, hardworking, and respected amongst many, even during a time when many women were not. Hannah inspired me in many different ways.  I was inspired by Hannah’s talent, and that she was able to use that gift for an incredible movement. I also am very passionate about fighting against modern day slavery, such as sex trafficking and forced labor, so I am always inspired by those that have fought for Freedom for slaves in the past.  

Corrie Ten Boom was  a woman who helped many Jews, along with other identified groups,  hide away from Nazi soldiers during the Holocaust in Germany. However, this would result in her being found and brought to a Nazi concentration camp herself.  She and her sister would suffer from the hard labor, humiliation from the guards, as well as some beatings. Her sister would ultimately die as a result of the camp, while Corrie would be released.  Throughout the entire time they were in the camp, the two of them led Bible studies and often would share their faith with others at the camp. As incredible as their story is; it will continue on many years after the Holocaust.  Corrie would be asked to speak at many events and conferences to share her story. At one of her speaking events, she would meet one of the guards from her and her sister’s concentration camp, and she remembered him being incredibly cruel.  He told her that he had become a Christian, and he asked for her forgiveness. She was able to forgive him. Corrie inspired and fully led out a life of forgiveness and courage.  

Something that I loved about these books was that it showcased women who were vastly different.  There were some women that were devoted mothers, church secretaries, writers, walking missionaries, nuns, and soldiers.  The women had many different personalities, talents, temperaments, and spiritual gifts, but yet a great desire and devotion to the Lord above.  These two books reminded me that I can be myself with my talents and interests to impact the world. If my commitment to the Lord is there, then God can use me to advance his kingdom.  These two books showcase that God can use someone who is single or married, the broken or the healed, the sinner or the saint, the rich or the poor, and the man or the woman.

Below is the picture of the two books that I read this past month.

I realized very recently that I have not yet on my blog talked about the very verse that my blog is named after.  The verse that inspired my blog is Colossians 3:23 which says; “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the LORD, not for human masters.”  This is my favorite verse, but I think that even if it isn’t, this verse has a great lesson for all of us to learn.  

While in the United States, being a workaholic is a prized thing. It is a personality trait that we all want to claim that we have, but it can also be a personality trait that if we are being honest can make us really selfish and absent minded to the beautiful things around us.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love to work. I am a type A personality, so the idea of being home for an extended period of time is incredibly hard, as we are during this time of coronavirus. I do know though that I can tend to be selfish about my time when it comes to working, and can often forget the reasons that I am doing the job, but instead focus on looking like I am the best employee.  

Colossians 3:23 is a verse that is for the workers out there.  It is saying that you need to work at things with all of your heart.  This verse is giving you permission to love your job, love doing tasks, love being a hardworking achiever.  However, you need to think about the reasons as to why you are working so hard. Why are you putting all of your energy towards this job or task? Is it supposed to be so that you can look great at your work or for your own pride? Is it because you are a perfectionist and need things to be a certain way because otherwise you won’t feel accomplished.  

Colossians 3:23 is telling the people who do love to work that it can be a very godly act that can produce many blessings and spiritual fruit.  However, the reason that you should be working so hard is not for yourself, but rather for the Lord and doing his work on this earth. There is a desire to complete the will and plan that he has for your life.  This is not working because of the desire to have a million dollars, get fame and popularity, power, but the desire of your heart for God’s purpose and fulfillment.  

For me personally, I had worked hard in high school because I wanted to get straight As.  However, that soon became my obsession. I felt that I would not be myself or I would not get my full fulfillment if I didn’t receive an A.  I felt the most complete when I was the perfect student. Even though I was working so hard and was putting my whole heart into it, I wasn’t doing any of this school work for God, but rather all for myself.  

This verse means a lot to me because I believe that God has given me a desire to work hard.  I want to put my whole heart into everything that I do, (well at least most of the time), and this verse helped me realize that it is a gift that I have gotten from the Lord.  However, how I chose to use that gift is another thing. Just because I enjoy working and putting my whole heart into things doesn’t mean that I am always thinking about the Lord.  There are often times I want to be seen as the hardest working person, just for my reputation and not because I care about advancing the kingdom in this role.  

This verse also serves as a reminder to myself to work hard on the things that I don’t always enjoy.  This verse specifically says, “Whatever you do, work at it for the Lord.” This means whatever you do, which is everything.  There are certain tasks that I absolutely love doing, and I have no problem working at it with my whole heart. Those things are schoolwork, painting, and writing this blog.  However, there are a few things that I don’t like to work at with my whole heart including laundry, cooking, contacting people I haven’t seen for a while, and praying for my enemies.  Not only should I take time to actually do this, but I also need to do it with the same amount of effort as I would with any other task.  

This verse lastly reminds me to live out this verse every day.  There are going to be days when there isn’t a lot of motivation, and there are days when we need to rest.  This also provides the opportunity to rest for the Lord. This can be spending time in prayer, fasting, and reading the Bible.  This is something that I also don’t do to the best of my ability. When I have a day of rest, I tend to spend the whole day watching Youtube and Netflix.  (Like in this quarantine, I have watched a lot of Youtube videos). Now, while this isn’t inherently bad to watch a few Youtube videos and or a show, as many of us have discovered it isn’t the best thing to do for the whole day or days on end.  However even on the days of lack of motivation, there is still an opportunity to grow closer to the Lord. I have at least another few weeks of quarantine that I can grow significantly in my walk with the Lord.  

In conclusion, Colossians 3:23 is my favorite verse for many different reasons.  I love the reminder of working at everything to the best of my ability, even the things that I don’t usually like to do.  This is a great way to continue to find joy in every piece of life, even the hard parts, and we do this all because we want to show glory and love to the Lord. 

As per my theme this year being Freedom, I have another reflection piece on what it means to be completely free.  This being giving away the control over my life to the Lord, where I am not the one that is in charge, but rather God will be.  I never considered myself a control freak, but I also have realized that I like to know what is going to happen in my future. I hate the idea of the unknown and not knowing what is going to happen.  I hate not knowing where I will work, for how long, where I will live, etc. There are many times that I wish there was a roadmap of what is going to happen in my life. 

This desire for control in my life has really come to a head in the past few weeks as the coronavirus or COVID-19 pandemic has taken full effect. This outbreak, of course, created a great deal of anxiety amongst the world.  It didn’t hit me or affect my life until recently when I was no longer able to teach for four weeks. This means that I wouldn’t get the chance to complete my lesson plans, watch extracurricular activities, and teach/spend time with my students. There is also discussion among many states, including Iowa, to close down the schools for the rest of the year.  I am not happy about these four weeks. I do not want to be at home without seeing my kids, without doing my new job that I love to do, but yet here we are. I have absolutely no control over any of this. If the schools in Iowa do decide to close for the rest of the year, I will have absolutely no control over that either. I would cry a lot, but I still wouldn’t be able to gain that control back.  For many of us, we are in the midst of not knowing if we are going to have to be locked down for a few days or a few weeks. This creates a great amount of fear in all of us, and none of us sadly have any control over any of it.  

Again, as sad as having to spend the weeks in for the COVID-19 is, it is also a great chance for me to learn about control and how that is something that needs to be given over to the Lord.  God is ultimately the one who is leading the doctors in finding a cure to fix the illness. God is the one who is leading the government officials as they make decisions for their people. God is the one who is using this time maybe as a chance to bring families together, make people appreciative of their jobs as well as the people in their life, and catch up on hobbies/activities we, as people, don’t get to do as often.  

I will not deny that the first few days of being in quarantine, I was not happy in the slightest.  I was in a state where I didn’t want to see any posts or updates about it, and every time I did, I would get frustrated.  This even includes the posts or comments about looking on the positive side, because I definitely did not want to look on the positive side.  However over this past week, I have had the chance to do some crafting, painting, reading, writing, and working on some other school projects that needed to get done.  I am trying to take this time to self reflect and to grow inwardly before again getting out there in the working world again. I need to take this time to grow closer to the Lord, reevaluate some of my teaching resources, and capitalize on some of my other skills that I have been wanting to develop, including my writing skills for my blog.  

While COVID-19 is just one example of giving away control, it certainly won’t be the last.  I don’t know how long I will teach in Buffalo Center. I don’t know how long I will be a teacher in general.  I don’t know if God has a different state in mind for my future, or even country. I don’t know if I will be single the rest of my life or get married.  I can’t tell anyone anything about my future. When I think about that, I am filled with a great deal of fear. I sometimes get so concerned about the future, that I am not fully living in the present or trusting in the Lord, and this is the problem.  

As luck would have it, my verse of the week this week is Matthew 6:34 which says; “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.” This verse is incredibly raw and truthful. There is enough every day to think about, work on, and put all energy towards without having to think constantly about the future. When looking at each day as who I can love, how I can praise God, and what I can do to be successful, then my life will continue to be more fruitful and thoughtful.

There was one summer when I lost my job a few months before the summer began.  The boss that I was going to have had to send me an email to explain that they didn’t need my role that summer as was originally planned.  It was an awful experience, and I bawled because I felt useless and out of a plan (plus money, I was a college student after all). This was not a part of my plan.  This was not part of what I wanted to do and when. However, this was obviously not in God’s plan. What was in God’s plan that summer, was me applying to the Bridge of Storm Lake in Storm Lake, Iowa.  If anyone knows me, then they also know that this was the biggest blessing in my life. I am now, this summer, going to work there for my fifth summer in a row. I continue to learn more about other cultures and diversity, how to love people, and how to be the best educator/mentor I can be as I work with children of all different walks of life from areas all over the world.  I would not have been blessed with this opportunity if I had followed my plan. I am so happy that my plans fell through and that God surprised me with the Bridge. I am glad I didn’t have control over my life in that situation. God knew better, and I need to remember that.    

Right now, I am living in a small town with very kind people and with students that I absolutely love.  I have been completely blessed in so many directions, and I have been given so many ways and reasons to praise the Lord as well as spread God’s word and glory.  It isn’t fair that I am wasting those opportunities stressing about the issues to come. As the weeks go on, I will continue to pray that the Lord will allow us to go back to school in a few weeks, but even if he doesn’t, God knows better.  God will always know better, in every way and every situation.

For those who know me, they know that I love the bachelor.  I know it is pretty terrible moral wise and not that realistic, but it is amazing drama television.  I don’t like drama in my life, but I need a bit of it in my television shows. However, this last bachelor, Peter Weber, had a phrase that drove me crazy, and that was “I am just following my heart.”  Now, although that is a standard phrase for the show, I will say that this bachelor would use this phrase a lot more than other bachelors and especially after he made a significant mistake or would ignore red flags.  This of course would leave me yelling at the television, “Don’t just follow your heart. You need to listen to your brain. You can’t just make decisions on your emotions.”

Now while this show is not supposed to be serious and not supposed to be something I take to heart, the idea of always following your heart can sometimes be a problem that myself and others can fall into.  This is the idea that emotions determine a lot of our decisions. When we are angry, there are times we can jump to doing or saying something that we will later regret. The Bible has some verses that also showcase this concept.  

In Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” This sounds like a harsh verse, but it is really just a very honest reflection on how our heart can easily lead us astray.  This is especially our heart that is made of flesh from our human emotions. There are times when our heart can lead us to incredible anger, frustration, hurt, and any other kind of emotion that soon can turn into sin or hurting someone else.  

Another verse comes from Proverbs 28:26 “Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.” Now although I said that you have to listen to your brain, your brain and therefore mind can often also be under the influence of emotions.  The emotions can cloud your judgement in both your brain and heart. The point is to listen to the wisdom that you have developed from the Lord that will help you guide the right decisions that you should make, even when you are under the influence of emotions.   

This also can come to decisions in our lives.  Getting back to the bachelor, he (or she on the bachelorette) is trying to pick out his wife or the woman that he wants to be with for the rest of his life.  That is a major life decision, and if you are focusing this solely on feelings and emotions as opposed to whether or not you are a good match, then the love may not fully last your whole life.  

Now while emotions are not a bad thing, in fact they are completely healthy.  The Lord has blessed us with feelings such as happiness, sadness, joy, peace, and even frustration, especially godly frustration.  We are not made to be robots that do not feel, but we are people who can experience all of the life moments to their completeness. However, overreacting to those emotions and letting your emotions take over before you adequately think about things and make wise decisions.   We need to be able to feel the things that we feel. That is how we live life to the fullest. Being told not to feel emotions, doest really make the emotions go away, but rather that just leads to stifling or muting what is really there. Emotions are a positive thing, but should not be a main reason or way we make decisions because that ultimately will lead unwise decisions.  

I have especially learned that this year as I have become a teacher.  I have learned that there are times when I need to step away from a student or a situation when I am starting to get upset.  I know that there are times when I need to step away from certain students, so I will not get angry with them. I know there are times I have to choose to talk to students after class, as to get rid of my anger and be put in a situation that is calmer and more productive.  However, I still have a lot to learn when it comes to this. There are still times I will get upset with a student before I give myself the chance to calm down. This is something that I have been growing in as my first year of teaching is ¾ done. This is also something that I hope to grow in more and more each year in my teaching career.  I will be continuing to pray over my emotions.  

This blog post may be one of my most vulnerable and real.  This year I became a teacher, and I have certainly learned a lot. (A blog post coming later about that.)  However, there was something that I have learned recently about myself that I don’t fully like, and I need to reevaluate this.  This is the fear of people not liking me, and the hatred of people being mad at me.  

To preface this, I have never liked when people don’t like me.  I don’t want to say this to sound like I am cocky, but I am usually a person that people like or at least get along with. For the most part throughout school, I got along with everyone in my high school, and I would always have great long conversations with most of my teachers.  (Because of this, I was often late to my other classes because I was talking to the teacher before. I would then fix this, of course, with talking to that next teacher after class. I had to make sure I got to talk to them the same amount as well. 🙂 ) Then when I went to college, I made a lot of friends, and I especially got along with most of the professors that I had.  

Then in college, I took the Strengths quest survey, and I found out that my third strength is Harmony.  I care about keeping the peace and care about not having too many arguments. This, as a whole, is a positive thing, but it is also very hard when people are upset with me.  However, in this last year, I was reminded that through being a teacher, there is going to be someone who doesn’t like you. Actually, there is going to be a chance that more than one person is going to dislike you.  This is a normal part of life.  

There are times when I need to give a detention or get upset with one of my students, which I hate.  Although I love my students, and I do love my students. However, when they make a mistake, I need to fix that mistake.  I need to help lead them to the direction of being a kind, responsible, respectful, and successful student and eventually person. Yes, it feels awful for me when I have to punish a kid or get upset with a kid, but also at the same time it wasn’t my innate choice to be mad at them.  My choice was to teach them, show them kindness, and help them succeed to their best ability. Sometimes teaching them does mean setting high expectations for them, so that they know they aren’t supposed to say something when it is hurtful or inappropriate or when they do something that is destructive or disrespectful.    

This year, again as my word of the year, Freedom, I need to be willing to accept when people don’t like me.  I need to accept that at the end of the day, it does not matter nearly how much people like or see me, but it is how Jesus sees me.  There is few verses in the Bible, both Old and New Testament, that discuss this mindset. Including, in Galatians 1:10, “Am I saying this now to win the approval of people or God? Am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant.”  At the end of the day, I am teaching because I love God and I want to show that love to others. I want to show that love to my students so much, but sadly sometimes that means having to teach them lessons. I should not care so much about being the cool teacher or the popular teacher.  Granted that would be nice, but it is so much more important to me to be the Godly and loving teacher, even when that does include the elements of tough love.  

Another verse that warns against the care of man over the care of God is Proverbs 29:25.  “It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe.”  I love my job, but my second guessing decisions and feeling bad about having to get upset at students has not been healthy for me at all.  It has created a great deal of stress that has led to anxiety and stomach issues. I need to focus on the freedom of being the best that I can be and in the end that is the best I can be.  I can’t get wrapped up in the small decisions. It has been very dangerous if at the end, I forget the main reason that I want to be a teacher is to serve God as opposed to man.  

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7-8

Matthew chapter 7, verses 7 and 8 aren’t my least favorite verses, but these verses are definitely not my favorite.  I can’t tell you why, but it was just not a verse that I felt connected to. This verse came up as my verse of the week, so it does need to now be a verse I need to ponder over and think about.  

However, I now also realize that, in part, my biggest problem was that I did not feel I understood the verse to its completeness.  I decided that I needed to take a deeper look at this verse and what it really means for me in my Christian journey.  

The bigger verse section discusses how God loves to bless his children.  He loves to give good gifts to his children who love him. The Lord wants to bless his children beyond what we can imagine.   This verse in and of itself is a reminder of God’s goodness. The Lord is a graceful and merciful God who wants to show love. God is good and better than we can even imagine.  

Well, this so far sounds like a dream verse.  This so far sounds like a dream that everyone should like.  It makes life sound so easy. When we have a problem, we just need to ask God and he will help us.  At the core, this verse is a reminder for us, God’s people, to pray to God, our Father. This is a reminder that God promises to grant promises and blessings upon the people who do pray. Prayer is an essential part of the Christian journey and a piece of our relationship with God.  Prayer is essentially a conversation with God, and just like our human relations, our relationship with God only becomes stronger through conversation.  

This being the case, it doesn’t make a lot of sense as to why I wouldn’t love this verse.  It serves as a reminder that God loves us and that he wants us to talk to him about our problems in our prayers.  However, I think that this is the precise reason I don’t love this verse. I want to be able to cure my problems. I want to be the one that is in control.  At the core, I don’t want to give up my control over my own life. It is the idea that I want my God to have control over my life, but I can’t bring myself to give that control over.  

The truth is that I have a great deal of pride in myself.  I sometimes have bigger pride in myself than I do in God. I, at times, believe that I am the one who should be in control.  My pride over God has been a big problem for me. I have a big belief that I am the one who should be making decisions for my life as opposed to God. 

Earlier in my blog series, I had a blog about my word of the year being Freedom.  I want to have more freedom in my life, and I think a big piece of that is that I need to be willing to give God more control of my daily life.  I need to be able to give that piece of my life that wants to control all my fears, all my choices, all my plans, and all my character over to God.  This is a part of gaining the freedom that I hope to achieve in the year of 2020. I need to be willing to give those concerns, over my fears, to God.  I need to be willing to give my control of my choices and plans to God, so I can do what God has desired.  

God may not answer my prayers and desires exactly the way that I originally planned, but that is because God actually has a better plan for us than we do.  Therefore, that is why we, including me, should be more willing to pray to God over our problems and concerns. My pride has stood in the way of my freedom of this regard. Whatever you do need is out there for you, waiting.  God is waiting to bless us, but we just need to be willing to ask, seek, and knock.

One of my favorite sections of the Bible has got to be the Proverbs 31 woman.  I have always loved that passage because I think the way that the woman is described is incredibly challenging yet strong.  There are often times they believe that this is about being the perfect wife and mother, and while yes there are verses that discuss a woman who is a great wife and mother, there are often many other verses that discuss a great amount of strength and grace that could be and should be found in many Christian women.  This passage does not need to be just a guide for wives and mothers, but rather a guide to women everywhere who want to serve the Lord. 

The first reason I love the Proverbs 31 woman is found in verse 17, it says, “She sets about her work vigorously;  her arms are strong for her tasks.” Here is a physical description of the woman’s strength. She works so hard that she has strong arms that are capable of hard tasks.  Although the view as a whole is changing, there was the old fashioned look on women as weak and always needing a man to help her with simple chores. However, this verse from the Bible describes a woman as physically strong.  She is able to do chores and tasks because she is strong both physically and mentally.  

The next verse that I absolutely love is in verse 20 which says, “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.” The Proverbs 31 woman is very concerned about caring for her family, but she also cares a great deal about others that are in the world.  She cares about the poor and needy and wants to extend her hand, resources, and help. She has a care for peace and love to be spread to the least of these. Caring for the poor and needy is later a command given by Jesus many times throughout the New Testament. The Proverbs 31 woman is already following the command of Jesus, even when this passage was written before the days of Jesus.  

Of course, my next verse that I absolutely love when it comes to the Proverbs 31 woman is verse 25.  “She is clothed in strength and dignity; she can laugh without fear of the future.” I love this verse, and it is found in many various places throughout my apartment to use as a reminder.  The Proverbs 31 woman at the very least knows exactly who she is or more importantly, whose she is. She is a daughter of God and therefore she doesn’t have any concern about the future. She knows that wherever she goes in the future, it doesn’t matter because she will always be a daughter of God.  I absolutely love this verse, but I also think this is the thing that I struggle with the most. I am very fearful for the future. It seems that I am always nervous about what is going to happen even before there is a potential of it happening. This verse serves as a reminder to stay steadfast to the Lord even when there is fear.  

Following verse 25, is verse 26 which is “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.”  The Proverbs 31 woman is wise. She again knows whose she is and wants to share that wisdom of God with many others. She makes wise decisions and can then speak that wisdom into many others.  The woman is not only smart, but is able to make smart decisions and give smart advice. This means that she is not interested in tearing other people down, but rather lifting them up to be the best that they can be.  

The last verse that I absolutely love about the Proverbs 31 woman is verse 30 in “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting,  but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” With everything, the Proverbs 31 strength, concern for the poor, fearlessness, and wisdom is at the core created because she loves and fears the Lord.  She has such a respect and fondness for God that she starts to embody his strength, both his physical and spiritual strength. Because she has such a love for God, this also develops a love for other people, specifically the poor.   She again does not have to worry about the future because she knows that no matter what happens in the future, she will be God’s child and that in the end will be the only thing that matters. Therefore she then can speak wisdom into the world.  The Proverbs 31 woman is a powerful woman, but she is only powerful by the one who made her that way.

I recently was reading a book that in one of the chapters was discussing the idea of the Golden Rule.  This book is “The myth of Equality” by Ken Wytsma. “‘Do to others as you would have them do to you,’ Sadly, this rule is all too often twisted into another that is only subtly different in structure but in fact can become a radical reinterpretation of the rule.  Throughout history, it has been referred to as the silver rule. Do not do to others as you would not have them do to you.”

His whole point was that we don’t go out of our ways to show love to others, the way that we would want to be shown love, but rather we just don’t want to hurt others, the way that we don’t want to be hurt.  We don’t go out of our way to show love to our neighbor, friends or family the way that we would want to be loved, but rather we just try not to rock the waves. While this is important to not try to hurt others, especially taking into consideration the way that we don’t want to be treated when talking to others, there should be more emphasis on going out of our way to make sure that others are being treated and loved the way that we would want to be treated.   

 The Golden Rule is actually supposed to revolve around others.  Do I spend a great time doing that for others? Do I take the time to write a random note for a person, especially when I know that they have had a rough time recently? Do I invite people to do some fun things with me over the weekends or on the week nights? 

This was something that I realized that I had not spent much time in doing.  There are so many things that I really want to see from people that I love in my own life.  There are times when I selfishly wish that someone would write me a letter, buy me a random gift, or ask me to do something really fun for the weekend.  I love when people take an amount of time to think of me. There are so many times that I almost think that the world is really all about me, and there needs to be more work done from other people to make sure that I am loved. 

The truth is that loving others is so hard.  It may be one of the hardest things to do at times. This is why the golden rule which is inherently very difficult.  We have to be thinking outside of ourselves about how to help someone else. We need to get out of our own head to enter into the mind of someone else’s.  I may not always know the best way that someone else feels loved, but I can try my best to make sure that I am showing everyone love in the best way that I possibly can.  

The purpose of the Golden rule is not caring about how you are being treated.  You can’t do anything sadly about how others treat you, but you can make sure that you are the one that is going out of your way to make sure that others are being loved that you would choose to be loved. 

Freedom is now my chosen word of the year.  However, this has been the word that I actually wanted to avoid in many ways.  

Freedom can mean a few different things according to Merriam-Webster dictionary , “The quality or state of being free such as, liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another, and the quality of state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous.” 

Taking the first part of the definition, if you would have asked me originally, I would say that this is a word that I don’t need to work on.  I care a lot about seeking freedom for others in my anti-human trafficking work. I care a lot about solving the problem of modern day slavery. I truly thought that freedom was something that I really understood on a deep level.

However, while that is true, I had never really cared about freedom in my own life.  I had never taken the time to see if I am truly at the core, free. In the Bible, Freedom is described often as being released from sin and death.  The main way that one gains freedom is through accepting the blood and sacrifice of Jesus into your own life. But this also requires letting go of that sin that was in your life from before you were united with Jesus.  

Am I really free from the sin of my past? I still very much watch movies and television, as well as listen to music that is not the most appropriate.  I still struggle with my temper and patience, often getting upset when I don’t need to. There are also times when I will engage in gossip or judging of other people.  All of this, to say, are the many sins that I am struggling to be free from. These are still pieces of my life that are not adding positives to my life, yet I continue to hold onto them.  I have thought very much about giving up these sins and problems, but I don’t want to. Even though it would make me closer to Jesus and create that freedom in my life, I also don’t want to go through the hard work and process of cleaning out this sin in my life.  I find it easier to be under the slavery of this sin, because I have grown that comfortable in it.  

The second part of the definition is “the quality of state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous (burdensome).”  Being free means being released from tasks, jobs or even feelings that are incredibly burdensome. The Bible says in Matthew 11:28; “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”  In Jesus, not only are we to have freedom from sins and evil in our lives, but we are also to be free from the burdens that are a part of our life.  This doesn’t necessarily mean that everything in our lives are going to be easy and lighthearted, but we at least know that we are supposed to lay those burdens on Jesus.  We don’t have to handle those burdens on our own, because that is our new freedom in our Chrisitan lives.  

I realized very recently that I am incredibly burdened by fear.  I have always been a worrier, and overly concerned about things that I don’t need to be.  I am concerned over failure, disappointing people, sickness, death, and many other things.  This became such a problem for me that I really struggled with anxiety for many years, and even though I am no longer on medication for anxiety, it is still something that is a part of my life.  This burden of fear and anxiety in my life has been the biggest struggle and hardship of my life. Yet, I constantly feel that I need to carry this burden as opposed to giving it to the one who takes all of our burdens away. This is something that needs to change for the year of 2020.

These are things that I am going to work on in the year of 2020.  This is my year of complete freedom.  

This week has been one of the worst and most stressful weeks of my life.  While that may be said, I did come to many different conclusions.  

I really thought that I couldn’t continue on.  I thought about giving up on my job and starting over.  However, I do have to say that with the support of many of my friends and family around me, I was able to continue on and feel more strengthened everyday.  

At the end of my week, I was watching a show that had the song by Shawn Mendes called, “In my Blood.” I will be honest that I was not a huge fan of this song for a long time, but I heard it this time, and everything changed.  

After this week, I had, I heard the lyrics, “Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I just can’t.  It isn’t in my blood.” This reminds me that giving up isn’t in my blood. I have never been the one to walk away and completely give up everything.  I am not saying I have never quit anything, but only things that didn’t really matter to me. The things that have truly mattered to me, like this job, my faith, my personality, I can’t give up on.  That isn’t who I am.  

I felt incredibly encouraged for a moment, but then I thought about this lyric on an even deeper level.  When we become Christians, we have a new heart that is pumping out new blood. This blood being the blood of Jesus, not our own. 

  It is not my blood that keeps me going, but rather Jesus’ blood.  2 Corinthians 12:9 describes this well. This says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.  Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” That blood that Jesus spilled is running in our veins once we accept him in our lives, and with that brings power, complete and wholesome power; the kind of power that makes you not give up.  

When you are going through a time that makes you feel that you can not make it on, remember whose blood you have running through your veins and your body, and thus whose power you have pushing you onward.  This week brought me down to my knees and made me want to give up, but I have God’s power running in my veins, and therefore I can not give up. It isn’t in his blood.