The past five summers I have worked in Storm Lake, Iowa for a Christian nonprofit named, the Bridge of Storm Lake.  This has been one of the best leadership, ministry, and growing opportunities of my life.  I have learned many things including how to best prepare for activities, being flexible when things are going to be different than planned, and learning from and about other cultures.  However, probably the biggest thing that I have learned is how to best love people, by intentionally living my life loving people.   

I really started to try to live intentionally when I decided to move into the trailer park a few summers ago.  This summer is my third summer living in the trailer park.  A lot of kids that the Bridge works with at the Bridge live in this trailer park, so it is definitely a chance to live amongst the people that I am serving.  I am getting to understand and relate to the kids and neighborhood on a deeper level.  However, that does mean that I need to actually be available when the kids come over.  I can’t just ignore them all the time when they want to do simple things like color or play outside.  This can also mean just being willing to sit there and talk to them, especially when they have a problem they are going through. This can be hard for me because there are many times I want to do the things that I want to do, and I don’t like doing something different than my plan.  I struggle sometimes to get outside of my head and live selflessly and therefore, intentionally. 

I have two examples of living intentionally since I have moved into the trailer park neighborhood this summer.   One time I had the plan to go to the store and then do a few more other things with work, but I had some puppies outside my door.  (I know, how great was that!) I, of course, played with them for a while and eventually their one owner, who is also my neighbor, wandered over looking for his puppies.  He is a seventh grade kid.  I spent some more time talking and getting to know him while playing with his puppies. The next day, one of the puppies was lost, and I tried to help him find the one.  We did end up finding her, so that was such a blessing.  He and his brother wanted to thank me by making me supper that night and bringing it over.   This was an example of doing my best to live intentionally.  I wanted to go to the store and get other things done, but God blessed me with an opportunity to get to know a kid, and later help that kid find his puppy, and therefore serve him.  It is showing kindness and love to those neighbors. 

There was another time where two girls came over because they were very bored.  This was, of course, still in the midst of social distancing, and they didn’t get the chance to play with people as much.  We spent an hour and a half coloring, and playing with slime.  They girls discovered how to use markers to change the color of the slime.  The girls got the chance to showcase their creativity and love of dancing.  This was also a great chance to talk and listen to music.  (Of course, these were K-pop groups.)  These were two girls that I had known in past summers, so they knew that they could come to my trailer and hopefully feel loved.    

I think that there are times we want our missionary life to be very flashy.  We may feel we need to go overseas and live in a different country to share God’s word and be a true doer of the faith.  This is not always true, or at least it isn’t always true for someone all the time.  God often blesses us with opportunities to serve the people around us in multiple ways.  There just needs to be a thought of living intentionally.  Every person has people in their life that they can show love to.  For example, everyone has been blessed with some forms of family members.  We have also been born into a community and neighborhoods that include a whole bunch of different people.  Then we also choose our own friends that we have the opportunity to show a lot of care and love to.  

All of this work would be considered very Christlike and Godly.  In Zechariah 4:10 it says, “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.”  I recently found this verse, and I believe that it shows living intentionally, even in the old testament of the Bible.  There was the idea of living intentionally even way back in the beginning of the Bible.  This verse showcases that small beginnings are important.  The Lord loves to see people start their own personal ministry and good work.  He wants to see us get started as opposed to doing nothing.  Even when it feels as though your ministry doesn’t matter, even when it feels as though you are not doing enough, it is important to remember that God has a love for whatever work you are doing.  God sees the encouraging note that you write to a coworker, the helping out of a neighbor, and the praying for the sick.  God has a plan for these pieces of work.  God may even use these little ways to live intentionally to grow, shape, and develop you to be ready for a bigger mission. 

Recently our world has been rocked with many things.  This, of course, has been happening with COVID-19, but now we are also being rocked with the protests and in some cases riots for Black Lives Matter.  There are many things that we can take from the most recent events (Many, too much for me to say as a white woman living in Iowa).  However one thing that I want to bring up is the importance of leading with humility. 

Obviously, I am not going to boil down everything in regard to police brutality examples and Black Lives Matter to a simple matter of humility.  There are a lot of other things that are at play.  BUT I do think that this does show the issue of abusing power.  Abuse of power can happen so easily.  Anytime we are given a new position, specifically a new position over other people, there are times when we may start to abuse that newfound power over people.  However, this isn’t what is going to get the people underneath you to enjoy having you as a leader or in my opinion be as completely successful as you otherwise could be.  

I have obviously discovered this quite a bit as I was teaching.  I am in charge of youth.  I am supposed to give them instruction, grades, and when sadly needed, discipline.  There are times when that can be hard because there may be some kids that one may not get along with right away.  There were some kids that struggled to get the work that I asked of them completed.  Yet, it is very important to teach those kids with respect.  We have all had teachers or (in some cases) professors where they didn’t treat the students like people, but rather they treated them like they were not as smart or as able.  It was really important (and very much still is) that I treat students like they are people, and that I show them as much respect as possible, even when that respect isn’t given back in return at all times or right away.  This was definitely something that I had to learn this year in regard to teaching and in leadership. I still want to continue to grow in that every year.  

The thing to remember is that when anyone is in a  leadership position, there is still a good chance that mistakes are going to be made as well as a struggle to make some decisions.  It is really important to know that anyone who is in that leadership position can be willing to admit that.  We are not perfect humans.  We will never be fully perfect humans.  If a person is not willing to admit that they make mistakes and still have areas to grow, then they will not continue to grow in leadership and in skills.  This is similar to when someone, maybe even in a lower position, may have a better idea than one that you have.   Just because it was not your idea, does not mean that it wasn’t a great one.  Therefore, as a leader, it is really important to give other people under you a chance to speak up to ideas in order to all grow.   

There are going to be times when I will a mistake.  I will probably make quite a few.  This could be if I teach a concept wrong.  I sometimes forget a word in Spanish or I get a word confused with another.  Those are times that I need to make sure to be humble by, of course, correcting myself, apologize, and reteach the concept correctly.  This also includes, of course, if there are times that I get mad at a student when it isn’t justified.  I am upset with myself, but then I need to take that time to be humble. I need to take the time to apologize to the student that I got mad at, and be willing to admit that I did wrong.  I also need to be willing to take the advice and criticism that comes from my fellow teachers or leaders.  This will be the only way that I grow as a teacher and as a person.  

The best example of leading with Humility was, of course, Jesus.   Jesus showed humility through service.  He was the main leader in charge of his disciples.  His friends were not just his friends, but were calling him, teacher and master.  They were following in his footsteps.  They quit their job in order to follow him.  Yet, Jesus never gave them tasks in order for them to serve him, but rather he focused his energy on serving his followers.  For example, John 13:14-15-14 “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.”  Jesus set the example when he washed his servant’s feet as something that we should do.  

One big thing that we can take from this is that if we want to lead with humility, it is very important that no matter how big of a leader that we are or no matter what our position we are in, we never forget to serve multiple people.  Never forget that if God has put you in a position to lead a group of people, he has also called you to serve those very people.  Again, those people are not there to solely serve you, even if that is the exact thing that society teaches us about leadership.  This means that he wants you to care about their well-being, and therefore be willing to make any changes that are necessary to ensure their wellbeing.  

A leader is also called to help grow the followers and the people behind them.  In Matthew 4:19, Jesus tells his followers to, “‘Come, follow me,’ Jesus said.  ‘And I will send you out to fish for people.’” Jesus wanted to help grow his followers to be the spiritual leaders and missionaries after he would be gone and crucified.  He knew that he wouldn’t be with them forever, and he wanted them to be strong doers and speakers of the world when he wasn’t around.  This is also, as a leader, what one needs to focus on.  A main focus should be teaching people under you how to do the job, so that way you know it can be taken care of if you ever need to move on.  It takes humility to empower others as opposed to giving glory completely to yourself, but it is the only way that anything can grow and develop from the initial beginning where it started.  

My two favorite books of the Bible are James and Proverbs.  The reason for this is because these books are filled with pieces of wisdom.  They are practical books for how one should live their lives.  While obviously the rest of the Bible is incredibly important in order to learn about the set up for Jesus, how Jesus lived, and predictions for the future, I really enjoy these books of the Bible giving advice on how best to love others and how to make wise decisions. 

There was a verse in Proverbs that I most likely have read, but have never given much consideration until recently.  This is Proverbs 4:23 which says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” I absolutely love this verse now.   This verse reminds me of another quote that I really enjoy that is by William Wadsworth which is “Your mind is like a garden.  Your thoughts are the seeds.  You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.”  

This quote and verse remind me of each other even though they are talking about two different body parts, they are both talking about the two most vital organs when it comes to influencing the rest of your body.  The reason is both your brain and heart help you make decisions, including life-changing ones.  These are also the two the body parts that help lead the rest of your body in either positivity or negativity. 

There has always been a saying of guarding your heart, whether this be in dating, making friendships, and/or activities that you participate in.  However, I never thought about the reasons why someone should be concerned about guarding their heart.  It isn’t just to feel better, but it is also because your heart is the main source for everything that you do.  This is usually because what is usually what is in your heart is also what you are thinking about on a regular basis, and then the thing that will impact a good deal of your actions.   It is so much harder to do tasks when you are filled with anger, regret, guilt, shame, and jealousy, as opposed to working with joy, kindness, humility, peace, and love.  

When we choose to let negative and ugly things be the only thing that enters our minds and hearts, then there is not a lot that we can expect to come out of it.  We can only really expect that negativity and ugliness to start taking root in our hearts and minds that then will grow weeds. Weeds are always hard and a pain to get rid of especially if you let them keep growing or become thistles.  Weeds are also always popping up, so we do just need to be conscious of the continuous bad thoughts that try to pop and grow in our minds and heart.  Therefore we need to make sure that we guard our heart and mind from these negative weeds that can take root and leave us negative all over.  

When we get rid of the weeds, this allows flowers and plants to grow easier.  Similarly when we get rid of the weeds in our mind and we continue to guard our heart and mind, we are able to have the flowers in our mind grow.  This includes our positive thoughts and increase of self-esteem.  It is also important to remember that flowers are not just pretty to look at, but they also provide nectar to multiple insects and continue to keep many ecosystems alive.  Those flowers that we create in our minds can in many ways also help us create a better place in the world.

My word of the year is Freedom, and this is important in regard to this verse.  The reason that my word of the year is Freedom is because I want to live my life free from anxiety, from fear of displeasing others  and fear of failure.  I want to live for the Lord with my complete heart, body, soul, and mind.  This verse and quote, while it does not talk about freedom specifically, it does talk about guarding your heart and mind away from things that could ultimately lead you the opposite from Freedom.  

The best example that I can give in my own personal life is my struggle with anxiety.  I have mentioned this in previous blogs before.  However, that struggle with anxiety was a really big thing for me for a while.  I still give myself a lot of problems with self-doubt, especially as I have been completing my first year of teaching.  I often am so scared of messing up and making the wrong decisions that I have sometimes caused myself to be sick this last year.  (I went to the doctor because I was on the verge of getting a stomach ulcer from both a lot of stress and a bad antibiotic).  I am definitely not protecting my heart from my own negativity, and this is leading me to a dark place.  I have actually decided recently that I am going to go back on my anxiety medication.  I am not saying this because this is a way to get attention, but I am willing to admit I needed help again.  One of the ways that I want to protect my heart and my mind from my anxiety is through giving myself the medication that I need in order to prosper.  If you ever feel as though you are in a similar spot, there is no shame in that.  Do what you need to get rid of your weeds and to guard your heart.  

Freedom has definitely been hard for me to find this past year with my increased anxiety and stress, but I supposed that it is also then the perfect year to make it my mission.  I need to continually be evaluating if I am guarding my heart from evil thoughts and anxiety in order to fully prosper.  This should also be including avoiding watching certain content or reading certain books that may also not help me prosper.  This is that I know the Lord is going to take care of me.  He is always going to be with me because he loves me. Not that I am not going to have problems in my future, but I know that God will see me through even when I do have those struggles. 

A few months ago, I finished another poem about being in the light.  This is something that has really been on my heart for the last couple of years, and I think that especially in 2020, it is a good reminder for everyone. 

Light that will take out the darkness
Light that will show the way to the one that has come before
Light that will hide away shame, guilt, and fear
Light that will showcase the promises, spirit, and fruit

To be the light one has to be willing to
Be piercing at times to scare away the darkness
So bright that it is blinding in the eyes
Scaring away the darkness from the brightness

To be the light one has to be willing to
Work in areas where there isn’t light
Light in areas where it is dark, cold, and scary
Places where light is essential yet rare and hardly found

To be the light one has to be willing to
let others shine like a nightlight or a lamp, avoiding a spotlight
Light doesn’t have to be the brightest in the room
But can be willing to shine alongside others

To be the light one has to be willing
to be available; at all times, even when it is hard
When it should be easier to fall into the darkness
When you are in a dark spot, you have the ability to shine brighter

To be the light one has to be willing
to be plugged in to the right source
Like a nightlight in the wall
Not depending on your own source, but rather God’s source

I think it is also very important to remember to be available when one is a light.  Like we can turn on the light in our house, or out in the dark with a flashlight, we need to be available, so a person can see where they are, where they need to go, and provide peace. Otherwise there are going to be a lot of people that will need the light and won’t have it.  There is such a scary feeling when you are stuck in the dark and there isn’t any light around.  The lights are essential for making a person feel safe and to get where they need to go.  

One of the hardest parts about being the light is when it has to be piercing in the darkness.  Being piercing can be hard because you will obviously be seen from a long ways away which means that you will stand out.  People will definitely see you, even if that is not something that you usually enjoy.  Just like there can be times when a person finds that the light hurts their eyes in the darkness, there is also a pain that can come from a person’s light source that calls out sins, injustice, or a problem.  We don’t always want to acknowledge that those things are there, but they are there and only hindering people. Injustice is not something that people want to talk about and something that people find uncomfortable, but it is also something that needs to be seen and heard.  People may want to turn off your light, but it is important that you still continue to shine bright.  

The part that was the best part for me to write was the last stanza.  I sometimes easily forget that I am not the source of my own light.  God is the one who keeps my light going.  He is basically my battery or my plug-in.  I think that there can be times when I feel I need to be my own source, but that isn’t what is required of me.  If I only look to my own source, then I will often get very discouraged and broken down.  I need God’s source of light in order to get anything done.  When life feels heavy, that is also where we need to remember to plug in for some extra time with Jesus.  This is where a recharge is needed.  This may require taking some time by ourselves with God, but this will only help us shine brighter.  

Right now, there is a lot going on in the world.  The United States where I live is experiencing similar things to many others in the world.  There was social distancing throughout COVID-19 and now there are riots and protests for justice of the many black lives that were lost through police brutality.  Obviously, there are a lot of differing views and different ways that people are coping with this, but regardless of where you stand, you can still be a light.  This is through listening to your neighbor and their struggles, even if you don’t understand it.  This can be through making sure to say prayers for the ones that are struggling and hurting.  This can be through reaching out to friends and family and seeing if you can do anything for them.  There are many ways to be the light of the world.  Also, just like Jesus, you should be a light to those who are different than you and who have differing opinions to you.  A light shouldn’t choose who it shines for.  A light when running properly shines for everybody, at all times. 

Recently, I have been watching a lot of Youtube because of the extra time from social distancing.  (This actually isn’t abnormal for me.  I love watching Youtube.  I watch Youtube more than regular T.V shows.) I watched a few youtube videos by Shallon Lester. I have really honest to goodness no idea why I am watching this Youtuber.  It has nothing to do with what I am usually interested in, but it was suggested for me, and I am bored so here we are.  (Actually there have been some pretty controversial things said about what she has done, and I definitely don’t always agree with her).  But I will say that she did provide a great piece of advice that I believe can work for anyone.  This is “We can’t change what happened, but we can change what it meant.”  

There are going to be many different things that happen to us in our lives.  There are going to be many things that will want to make us want to quit, want to loathe in self-pity, or have bitterness.  And yes, we definitely need to spend time grieving whatever that thing is in your life, but still no matter what you do though, you can never change the thing that initially happened.  

I think that many of us have experienced negative experiences while in social distancing.  It has definitely been hard to stay positive the whole time.  There are many of us that have increased anxiety because of never knowing what is going to happen and how much longer we will have an irregular schedule or stay in social distancing.   However, I have also gotten to see a lot of people use this time as a way to grow closer to their family members, have more time for hobbies, or redecorate one’s house.   

I would say that now it has been about two and a half months that we have been in social distancing/self-quarantine. Even though, now there are more and more states that are starting to open up, we still are not functioning the way that we used to before everything with this happened.  What I have discovered, is that even though these are weird times and these are times that I would rather not live through again.  I certainly would rather be going to school and see my students.  I have discovered a bit of normalcy these past few weeks.  The normalcy for what it is. 

There have been some times when I have gone home to stay with my parents, but there are many times that I will spend it in my apartment by myself.  I will be there for a week, and yes I will have the occasional meetings and of course spending a lot of time calling my parents, the majority of time I will be by myself with my own thoughts and individual activities.

This means that I have gotten a chance to do a lot of my favorite things which includes, writing (specifically for this blog and other poems), running (so far over 200 miles this year), reading (read about 5 books), crafting (including painting, card-making, and coloring), and listening to A LOT of music.  I have also recently gotten a golf membership and hope that I can also start biking soon.  This has really reminded me of things that I really really love.   I think that there are a lot of people who have gotten this chance as well.  There are more people who are rediscovering the things that they love to do such as cooking, (This is not me by the way.  In fact I am eating at restaurants for months on end after this is over), sewing, and working out.  I am glad that there are a lot of people who get this opportunity.  I am really starting to think that we should have more time in our daily lives to work on these hobbies.  Hobbies are a beautiful thing.  

I think what I am finding is that this is all an important thing to spend some time with ourselves.  Granted, I am getting more time than is really necessary these past few months.  I have also been given an opportunity during this time getting to spend more time with God.  I have really been making sure that I am spending more time in my devotionals, working on memory verses, church online etc.  This has been a time to make my heart ready for when I do start meeting up with people.  I will be much more grateful for the long conversations, hugs, and going out to eat for a good meal! 

I would have given anything to have school for the rest of the year as originally planned.  I would have loved to have finished my first year of teaching like normal.  However, even with that being said, I am in many ways blessed with the time that I got to have finding my passions and getting to know myself again.  I am happy that I got so much time to paint, to rekindle my fire against Human Trafficking and volunteering with IJM, reading inspirational books including books by a new favorite author of Maya Angelou.  I can never change that we didn’t go to school for the last two and a half months of my first teaching year, but I can change what it meant for me.  

I have spent a great time writing about my word of the year in my blog which is the word “Freedom.”  My mom also has a word of the year, and her word of the year is Anchor.  This has then inspired me to write this blog post and poem for her.  

The definition of an anchor when looking at a verb is “secure firmly in position.”  Obviously when there is an anchor on a boat, the anchor’s job is to secure the boat firmly in position.  How exactly can this be a word of the year then?  Unless of course you are fishermen and you need to remember to get your anchor, why would this word be a spiritual guide? There needs to be a look at an anchor as a symbol in our lives for what holds us in position or in place.  However, I do think that there are many times that people, myself included, pick something else as our anchor besides the Lord, then we will not always stay firmly in the position that we want.

It can be easy to find other things as our anchors in this world.  This can be our jobs and how stable and safe we feel in our positions.  This may be why there is an increase in workaholism growing in the United States and in many other parts of the world.  There are also times that we may look at relationships as a safety net or an anchor.  This is also a wonderful and beautiful thing.  However, relationships can be a shaky thing at times, and they are not always the best anchor.  There also can be anchors in our talents.  Depending on the things that we are good at, we may start to depend on those same talents to give us our purpose or our awards.  

I may have told a bit of this story in the past, but at one time my anchor was nowhere near Jesus.  Not that I didn’t love Jesus at this time, but I was not as dependent on him as I should have been.  Jesus was certainly not where I found my identity.  In high school and in the first few years of college, it was all about being a good student.  I was bound and determined in high school to get straight As and have a 4.0 grade point average. I don’t know why I felt that this was supposed to define me.  I suppose I felt that if I had the best grades, then I would be seen as incredibly smart, responsible, and hard working.  

Then when I was in college, I was struggling to keep all straight As.  I still got good grades.  (I’m going to give myself some credit there.  I did work really, really hard in college).  But they weren’t all As.  I really started to doubt who I was. If I wasn’t the top student, then who was I?  If I wasn’t seen as the smart girl in the room, then who was I?  I was definitely struggling through an identity crisis.  The reason for this all bottled down to what I was seeing as my anchor.  Was I seeing my grades and ultimately my identity as a smart student as my anchor instead of the Lord?  During this phase of my life, yes, I absolutely was.  And all that left me was feeling as though I had to measure up to something so flawless, not very secure, and not even that important in the long run.   This left me very broken and feeling incredibly disappointed in myself.  

However, I did start to change my thoughts and the way I looked at my life in college.  I became a part of the Navigators student ministry when I was in college, and I also joined a Bible study as well as gained a mentor. Through these experiences in the Navigators student ministry, I started to notice that looking at grades as my anchor was actually quite harmful for me.  When I was struggling in a class, I then started to doubt who I was and what my purpose for the world was.  How awful is that! I was so dependent on something so unstable.   The Navigators reminded me that when I had accepted Jesus as a small child, I was supposed to make him the anchor of my life.  He was supposed to be the one thing that I needed to keep me stable.  

God and the hope that he brings is also mentioned in the Bible.  Hebrews 6:19 says, “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”  The hope that we have in Christ is going to make us feel firm and secure.  God can help us feel secure even when the world seems to be going every which way or is upside down.  While a business could go under and one could lose their job, God will always be present and available. While a relationship could end, God is never ending and always willing to keep the relationship.  While we could all eventually lose our talents or find we aren’t as good as we initially thought, being a child of God is the only validation and identity that we need to survive.  

Ultimately an anchor can save multiple lives.  Because an anchor can keep a boat steady, this can help it to not go under if there is heavy winds or the waters are high.  Our own personal anchor that we have in Christ is also what helps keep us steady and then what ultimately saves us from the heavy storms that hit our world.  

My Anchor:

An anchor to keep me still and quiet
An anchor to hold me steady
An anchor to place me in where I need to
An anchor to make me feel safe

Before I had you as an anchor
I often felt lost
I often felt alone
I often felt afraid

With you as an anchor
I now feel secure
I now feel safe
I now feel placed

An anchor to be my rock
An anchor to keep me calm
An anchor to give me identity
An anchor to be my constant

I need an anchor in the midst of a storm
I need an anchor when the waters are high
I need an anchor in the dark nights
I need an anchor even when the weather is sunny

I don’t need my talents
I don’t need my titles
I don’t need my relationships
I only need you as my anchor

An anchor to give me joy
An anchor to bring me hope
An anchor to keep my strength
An anchor to save me, that can ultimately save me

My four power words are integrity, inspire, create, and advocate.  These are the four words that I want to be known for, and the four words that I want to always live out.  Yes, I am going to pick a word of the year that I want to focus on, but these will always be the words that I want to define my life.  These are the words that most inspires and motivates me. (This is, of course, funny wording because one of my words is “inspire”).   This blog is going to focus on those four words and mainly why they are the main words that I picked to be the staple of my life.  

Let’s start with the word “inspire”.  This word’s synonyms are “to influence, move or guide.”  This can mean that you are moving, guiding, or influencing someone to do something. Basically inspiring people to live the life that they want to live.  This could be done either in a good way or in a bad way.  The main goal here, of course, is that you are inspiring in a positive way, whether this be through inspiring people to exercise, eating healthy, doing devotionals, starting a blog, painting canvases, etc.   

I do hope and wish in my many different aspects of life that I will be able to inspire others.  For one, I want to be able to inspire my students through my teaching.  I think that as a teacher we always want the chance to inspire our students to love school, love learning, love being kind, and love helping and inspiring them to be the person that they can be.  I have been inspired by many teachers this past year, and I hope that I can be one of those inspiring teachers.  

My second word is integrity.  The word integrity is defined by Merriam Webster as a “firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values.”  However, many people I know simply define integrity as “doing the right thing even when no one is watching.”  Basically as a person, you pick certain morals and codes that you want to have, and you follow them because you have a desire to.  This is, of course, maybe because you want to please yourself or you want to please Jesus. You have a desire to live a life of goodness and holiness.  

I love the word integrity so much because it is showing that a person should care about what they are doing for the very reason that it is important and something they appreciate.  I think that there are often times when people want to do certain things because they want to look good or because they want to please others, but when you strip that all away, what are you actually acting like?  What are you really caring about?  Do you care about following the rules even when no one is watching because it is the right thing to do, or because it is the rules and people are watching you?  Do you follow those expectations and rules, even when it is especially hard to?  I have a great desire to live a life of goodness and holiness.  It is really important to me that I do care about living a life like that even when it is hard and even when it is not going to get me anywhere.  

The third word is create.  I love to create things.  I really love crafts.  I think that it is always important to be creative and to think of things to create.  In many ways, we live in a society where we don’t have to.  We don’t have to necessarily create our own pieces of art because there is plenty to buy.  We don’t have to make our own paintings, but rather we can just go and buy a painting that someone else created.  We don’t have to make our own decorations in our house because there is a wide selection of decorations already available that can even be shipped to your door.  We don’t have to make our own entertainment, but rather we just have to go on Netflix, Youtube, or Hulu.  

Being creative is also something that you can use in all areas of your life.  You can and should often be creative when you are doing your job.  A lot of us probably had to be somewhat creative these last few months when it comes to how to best do your job that didn’t require being around other people or having to do your job at home.  For example, as I have mentioned in a few of my blogs, I am a teacher and, like other teachers around the nation, had to learn how to best teach online as opposed to in the school building.  

There are a few quotes that I really love when it comes to creativity that I also wanted to share.  The first is “Creativity is the way I share my soul with the world.” -Brene Brown.  I love this because creativity is the way that many people share their soul with the world.   This can be through their paintings and artwork or in their writing.  It can even, again, be through finding the best way or new ways to do their job.  Then there is also the quote by Maya Angelou which is “You can’t use up creativity.  The more that you use, the more that you have.”  I love, love, love this.  There are, of course, times where we feel that we use up all of our ideas, but I have really found that the more time that I am spending in painting, the more ideas I get for other canvases.  Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there when it comes to being creative.  I think the world needs to see more and more ideas in the world, more art, more writing pieces, and more homemade videos.  

My fourth and final word is advocate.  One of my favorite quotes (I have a lot of them) sums up advocacy.  “First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—Because I was not a socialist.  Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—Because I was not a trade unionist.  Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—Because I was not a Jew.  Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.”   Martin Niemöller, the pastor who wrote this, describes himself or other men who weren’t willing to stand up or advocate for other people in one of the world’s darkest deeds, the Holocaust.  Then when he is the one that is in trouble, as luck would have it, there is no one who is there to take care of him or advocate for him.  Martin Niemöller did later oppose the Nazi regime in the later part of it. He did not start out that way, and often will speak of his guilt for his original support of it. His quote is coming from a place of deep sadness for his part in hurting others and not advocating when he should have. This is also reminder that people can change and grow. We are never too far gone to start advocating for others.

To be an advocate one needs to not think about himself, but rather, they need to spend a majority of the time thinking about another person or people group. This again could really work with the word integrity in regard that one is caring about people and their well-being, not because it benefits themselves.   

You may have noticed that three of these four words are verbs.  Three of the words all require some sort of action.  They are not words that can just happen without any kind of work.  I need to be willing to have that work ethic as long as I also remember to have integrity in working through all of these actions. Now that I have shared my four power words, what are yours? Do you have a word that is your mantra or one that you try to live by? I would love to know it, if so!

I have just completed my first year of teaching. I have learned an incredible amount from teaching, way more than I initially thought that I would.  To start, I would say that I have experienced some things that maybe not all first year teachers have experienced.  We all have our first year journey, and mine has certainly been an interesting one.  There have been so many highs, so many that I can’t even count, while there have also been some lows.  These lows included are of course a few classroom management struggles I wasn’t planning on and a pandemic that closed down the school for the end of the year.  

One major thing that I have learned is patience.  I have been praying for years for God to work with me on my patience.  My patience has always been the spiritual gift that I feel I have lacked the most.  However, since teaching, I have found I have the capability to be patient in many different situations.  I still have lost my patience more than I would have liked to.  This is something that I am hoping to continue to grow in next year and many years after.  Now, that I have experienced a lot of different situations, I am hoping that I will continue to be more patient when I am experiencing a similar situation in the future.  

I have also discovered a lot about grace since I have started working as a teacher.  I think that it can be very easy as a person to not have a good relationship with a particular person/student and to then avoid them.  There are a few students that I didn’t and still don’t personally click with as well.   They may misbehave, talk back, or not follow directions. However, I have instead learned about grace throughout many different times and situations in this year. This is, of course, in  giving people endless changes, and creating a new day out of, well, everyday.  To give one example, at the beginning of the year, there was one particular student who I didn’t necessarily get along with, but today I actually talk to a lot.  After a lot of grace and prayers, we get along a lot better than we did at the beginning of the year and a lot better than I would have believed if you would have told me that at the beginning of the year.  Grace mattered, and that is something I am going to continue to work on with other students.  I have also learned this from my fellow teachers that I work with.  They are amazing at showing grace and giving endless chances to students, and I have tried my best to learn from them.  

I also learned how to be flexible.  I think there are many times in life when we have to be flexible.  This flexibility and the willingness to be flexible is another showcase of giving God your control.  This means one is willing to go with whatever life gives you.  They tell you many times when you are studying to become a teacher, that you may need to be flexible and willing to change your plans.  There were days when people ended up having to be gone because of sports that I wasn’t planning on, or there were days you could just tell the students are too upset to really learn a lot of content.   There were days when we had to spend some time talking out our problems.  (This was, of course, with the smaller classes). I learned to assess situations and make changes based on that.

This year as many people know, we (as teachers and students) all over the nation had to complete our fourth quarter of the year online because of COVID-19.  For my particular school policy, we had a few weeks of optional learning, but then we moved into required online learning for the last few weeks of school.  This resulted in having to create my lesson plans, that were new from the beginning for me, to now be done online separate from my students on a computer screen.  This has become an interesting challenge.  I have learned a few more online resources though that I definitely want to try in the future with my classes when we meet in person.  This has taught me how to be creative in a situation that no one from the beginning of the year could have expected.  This will, again, hopefully help me be more and more ready to handle any other new and interesting situation that will come my way.  

One thing that I will say that I have learned best about this year is that I am so proud to be a teacher.  Every time that someone asks me what I do for a living, I absolutely love saying that I am a teacher and that I teach kids.  I love getting the chance to tell stories about the kids and their classroom shenanigans. I love getting the chance to say what the students have all learned, and some of the fun activities or projects that we have gotten to create or complete.  I love watching my students learn new things and start to become the person that they are.  I am so incredibly proud to be my student’s teacher.  I have compassionate, kind, hardworking, and funny students.   

Talking back to the social distancing teaching, even though that was a lot harder than one would think, there was an increasing appreciation for my students.  When I first heard that we weren’t going to be meeting in person for, at the time, four weeks, I was so sad.  I instantly thought of how much I wanted to spend more time in the classroom with my students, especially the students that were going to be graduating at the end of the year.  I felt bad that students weren’t going to get to participate in their spring activities, and how I wanted to support my students in those events.  But something that I did have was Google meets and meeting with my students on the computer.  I was incredibly pleased when I had my google meets.  For a majority of the time, we actually spent a good amount of time talking and catching up about what the students have been doing and how they are doing.  I appreciated it so much, and I was instantly filled with joy for the small amount of interaction I got to have with them.  This will hopefully be something I remember and really appreciate next year.  Even on days that are harder to get up in the morning, I am hoping that I will remember how much I missed the regularity of seeing them and appreciate them every second longer.    

The following is a poem that I wrote that will hopefully be something that I remember in all future years of teaching and working with children. 

A Teacher’s Prayer:

Lord, please help me to achieve all that you need me to today
Give me eyes to see the whole child
Help me hear the cries of the hurting child
Grant me patience to work with the defiant child

God, help me to see beyond the surface
Help me to listen beyond the complaints and yells,
Help me comfort the upcoming fears
Help me to empathize with the tears

God grant me patience when the students don’t listen
God grant me grace to forgive any misunderstandings
God grant me peace to be steady amongst chaos
God grant me God’s love that I can give out to everyone

God, please guide me in all things
guide the right words to speak
Please guide me in the content that I teach
Guide me in confidence and assurance

Lord help me to do my best
To be the teacher that my students need and deserve
To be the kind mentor and listener
To be able to forgive myself and fix my mistakes

Lord, I pray for my students
I pray for their continued safety
I pray for their growth, both in education and life
I pray for their character, and that it will prosper
I pray for their future and that it will be incredibly bright

This blog is going to be a bit different.  Usually when I set out to make a blog, I am doing some reflection on a verse from my Bible study or a concept from a book that I really enjoy.  Every once in a while this can also come from a pop culture reference that actually can really apply to our own lives.  However, this blog is going to have a bit of that, as well as information about a nonprofit organization that I really love and have been volunteering/leading with, and even a direct application of things we can all do.  This is about an event that is coming up that is very important to me, and I want to give everyone a chance to participate in it with me!

I recently was reading a book called “Dear Church,” by Lenny Duncan.  This book is a love letter to the ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) describing their race relations as they are the whitest church denomination in the world.  This book opens up the idea that the church needs to be thinking more about their addition of culture and race into their church. Basically the idea is that the church should be growing and become more diverse. This book also describes caring about one’s neighbor, especially if that neighbor is of a different race or culture than you. 

One quote from this book that really struck me was;  “Grace is a powerful message to hear: that the cost of salvation is nothing; that the ledger balance has been paid; that I don’t have to earn my freedom in Christ, which in turn sets me loose to fight for freedom here on earth; that I can turn my focus to my neighbor.”  This quote is beautiful.  Jesus died on the cross for our sins, so that we could have freedom in him.  He didn’t mind forfeiting up his freedom that he had with his father in heaven in order to come and help us gain our freedom.  We don’t have to earn it.  No one does.  We are granted it by Jesus solely, and we just have to accept it.  

This quote also includes too many commands that are given throughout the Bible. To give an example of a Biblical verse similar to this quote is Galatians 5:13 which is “For you were called to freedom, brother. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”  Because we have gained our own personal freedom in the spirit, our next command is to help others achieve that same freedom and love from Jesus.  We want as many people from the world from every tongue, nation, tribe to achieve this complete, unearned but given freedom in Christ.  

For many people who know me, they know that I am very passionate about working against Human Trafficking and modern day slavery in all areas of the world.  I know that I am incredibly blessed to have freedom in my life when it comes to the ability to vote, make decisions, work, and dream.  Because of this, I want to continue to fight for the millions of people that are enslaved in the world.  There are more slaves in this world now more than there ever has been in history.  Here is a time when I am actually not just talking about spiritual freedom, but they are physically enslaved and made to do hard labor where most of them receive little to no pay or have sex with multiple people whom they don’t know.  There are also many who are enslaved in prisons for crimes they did not commit, but they don’t have the money in order to receive a good lawyer to gain their freedom.  Sadly, there is a great deal of this in the world, and we have the ability to help many people through it. 

One nonprofit organization that I have loved for a long time then is IJM or International Justice Mission.  IJM fights Modern Day slavery all over the world including fighting the unjust fishing industry in Ghana, and southern Asia, as well as fighting violence against women in Latin America, and the online sex trafficking industry in the Philippines amongst many other things. Their overall motto as an organization is “Until all are Free.”  This is because IJM and the workers who work for IJM know that we will never fully have a perfect and peaceful world until all in the world are free.  Everyone needs to be able to be a part of this complete freedom.  IJM’s main goal is to go in and rescue slaves, yes, but then they also have a goal to recreate the government systems as the main reason for why these people were enslaved in the first place.  This will thus create a slave free world that will then create a world of peace and love.  

One event that they are going to do is Race for Rescue.  This Race for Rescue will be a virtual run where you can run it in your own home, on your porch, or around your town. This is a perfect time to get some exercise for a good cause, specifically fighting for freedom for everyone in the world.  You can start your own team or join the team in general. Will you join the race? There is also, of course, a chance to donate to the event or specific teams or people. Here is actually the link to my page!

The major question that we can ask ourselves is: are we using our freedom in Christ to make freedom a possibility in someone else’s life? This, of course, can take on many different forms.  Whether this be that you spend a good portion of your time making sure people are fed and cared for.  Whether this is through making sure to spend time evangelizing to your neighbors, whether they are living close by or in a different country.  Whether this be through devoting your time and efforts to making sure the word is spread to the youth. There are so many ways and journeys that one can take in order to share our freedom and love of God with the world.  This is one of the main ways that I am choosing to, but this is something that we most definitely can use our freedom for: to help people gain freedom, both physically and then eventually spiritually.   

My mom is my favorite person in this world.  For those who don’t have the pleasure of knowing my mom, she is a math teacher and has been for 20 years.  She has dedicated a bunch of time to this job as a teacher and a coach, and there have been so many students that have been greatly impacted positively from her 20 years.  Because of her love and passion for teaching, as well as my love of school, were the main reasons that I decided to become a teacher in the first place.  She has taught me so much in the past year as I have been completing my first year of teaching.  I have gone to her many different times in order to complain, share, and ask questions.  I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have her this year more than ever.  

You are the best person in my life.  Thank you for always being supportive of me.  When I started this blog, you were the first one to read my first blog.  (In fact, I think I had you read it over before I posted it).  You were my first follower and thus the first one to get email notifications to read my next blog.  You have commented so far on every blog that you have received. It is always great to know that I have at least one person who reads what I have to say and believes it to be valid. I wouldn’t know what to do if I didn’t have that person behind me to support me.  I wonder if I would have continued on or written my second blog if I didn’t have that constant support that was given from you.  Thank you for always supporting me, no matter what I was trying to achieve, whether this be this blog, my painting and crafting, or pursuing a career.  

Another big thing that my mom has done for me is empowered me.  She taught me how to love and have confidence in myself.  She herself is a strong and confident woman who never ever made it easy for me to give up or be weak about something.  When I started running, and I was awful at it, she would get upset with me when I would start crying and whining at the pain.  This was because whining at the side ache wasn’t going to make me a good runner.  Because of these things, I absolutely love running and have even achieved one goal of mine which was running a half marathon. My mom could have been easy on me, but she knew I could do better.   If I hadn’t had my mom to run with me, I wouldn’t have done that, and I most definitely wouldn’t be a runner today.  

She also has taught me to be a strong woman that can live on my own.  The only reason I am a very happy single person is because my mom never cared about me having a boyfriend.  She would hardly ever and I do mean ever ask me which boy I was interested in and never cared if I had a boyfriend.  This made me grow up to realize that the most important thing was not whether or not I was in a relationship.  Not that it is, of course, a problem if I ever do get married or have a boyfriend, but what is important is that it wasn’t something I would feel forced or persuaded into. What really mattered to her was that she taught me how to live independently, and that I am completely alright on my own.  She is just happy that I have a stable and great job, am able to pay my rent, can make my own meals, clean up and take care of my place (kind of), and be as happy as possible.  Also, as long and, of course, as I stayed connected to the faith and knew to rely on the love of Jesus for everything.

When I was a child, you were also one, sadly, that taught me that there is evil in the world. You were the one who taught me that there are people who intentionally try to hurt other people.  You would then feel so awful for me when someone would go out of their way to hurt me.  You would become mama bear 2.0.  I know that this year has been a bit rougher for you, and that makes me upset.  I am glad though that because of this year, you have actually grown closer to God.  You are becoming a more spiritual person.  This is because you are too good of a person to stay down, and I always want you to remember that.  There is nothing that is going to keep you down for good.  

Because of these reasons, I want you to have the best Mother’s Day ever!  I am so happy that I get to be your daughter and that you are my mom. I can’t believe that I have been so blessed. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY MOM!