Lately, I have been struggling with feeling confident.  I keep seeing myself in the mirror, and I keep wondering if I have gained some weight.  A few years ago I lost some weight, and I sometimes get really concerned that I am going to gain it all back.  Because of this, there are definitely days when I am looking at myself and all the ways that I should improve.  I am looking at the areas where I want to be thinner and flatter.  

I am ashamed of these thoughts.  Mostly because I try really hard to remind the women in my life to look at exercise and health more than at the scale.  Before I started to lose weight, I had decided that I was going to set fitness goals.  I didn’t want to care about the weight I had lost or not lost, but more on what I could, through God, achieve.  I set mileage goals in running and lifting goals in exercises like squat and bench.  Then I actually lost some weight.  It feels like lately I have been starting to look at this in a backwards way.  I have been starting to focus more on weight loss and the weight on the scale as opposed to the fitness I am getting through exercise.    

Even though these feelings are not pleasant, I know that I am not alone when it comes to struggling with their bodies.  That is why there are disorders such as body dysmorphia which is the constant thinking of one’s flaws on a regular basis.  According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, there are about 1 in 50 people who struggle with body dysmorphia.  As a former educator, I am very aware that many young girls and boys struggle through other eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia.  This is a problem.  Our bodies are the functions that get us to go from place to place and to be able to do the daily functions, yet we are constantly looking at them for their flaws.  

The world in general is also very focused on bodies.  Often magazines will highlight the best bodies, articles on how to get a better body or at least the body in trend at the time, and even filters on instagram where people are able to change their bodies to be more pleasurable (according to world standards).  These standards hurt many others’ perceptions of their bodies, especially if they were already struggling through the feeling of insecurity or lack of confidence in an area.  

I was reading a book by John Piper recently called “Future Grace,” and he was talking about how our bodies were made to glorify God.  One quote that I really enjoyed was,“Our bodies fit into that same category of physical things that God created for this reason. He is not going to back out on his plan to glorify himself through human beings and human bodies.”  This was accompanied with the verses of 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 which says, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?  You are not your own, for you were bought with a price.  So glorify God in your body.”   

There are many ways that we can glorify God with our bodies, but I certainly know that one of the first ways is to not complain about them.  We are not going to be glorifying God by telling him all the things that we don’t like about what he has given us.  I am not saying that we should be vain.  We shouldn’t try to find our glory in our achievements or what we look like.  However, we should be grateful for the body God has given us. 

We can always make goals to change for the better, as long as we are doing it with the mindset of God’s glory such as exercising and eating a balanced diet.  There are a few goals I would like to personally have in regard to physical improvement.  I personally love to exercise.  I love to run, bike, lift weights, and go to workout classes.  I am not, however, the best at listening to my body when it comes to taking a day off or taking time away from exercising for a time period.  My goal in this area is to thank God more for my ability to work out and achieve more fitness.  I also know that I need to take a day of rest from exercise at least once a week.  

Another item I personally struggle with is eating healthy.  I don’t try to overindulge in unhealthy eating, but I definitely eat more sometimes than I should.  I struggle with eating vegetables and more foods with colors.  I know there are a lot of good nutrients that can come from the foods that grow from this world.  A personal goal I want to follow in this next year is having a chart where I can make sure to mark healthy foods I am eating, as a way to hold myself accountable for eating certain vegetables and fruits.  I want to be able to enjoy the less healthy foods, but only after I have put in the work keeping myself healthy.  

The bodies that we have been given are a temple.  They are a gift from God, and they are to be used for Godly reasons.  It can be very easy to find our flaws.  One from society pressures, and another from the constant nagging of the evil one, but it is important that those flaws that we believe we see is how God has designed us and put us into being.  My challenge for you this week is to spend a little bit of time thanking God for your body and all that it does for you.  The bodies that we are given are the reason we are able to do the jobs that we do, even on the days that we don’t like everything about it.  I pray that if you have struggled with any confidence lately like me, that you would be encouraged by the reminder of God creating you completely unique and with care.

I have been doing a lot of reading of books by Christian authors recently for my daily devotional.  The first was “Future Grace” by John Piper and then the second one is “Cross-Cultural Servanthood,” by Duane Elmer.  These are very different books with very different goals and objectives of teaching.  The first one is all about a person’s personal walk with God and their faith in future grace.  Then the second one is all about being willing to serve God by making sure to not overstep culturally while serving others in the world.  

However, even with these two very different books, there was a very big theme that came into both of them which was the term of humility.  Humility is fundamental for serving God and for being a Christian.  It can be very easy to call ourselves a servant, but it is important that we truly understand what it means to be a servant and how humility plays a huge role.  Both books brought up the importance of humility, even in a world where humility is not necessarily praised.  I want to highlight two very striking quotations about humility from each of these books.  

In the book, “Future Grace,” on page 85 it states, “But deeper than all these forms of unbelief is the unbelief of pride, because self-determination and self-exaltation lie behind all these other sinful dispositions.”  This was right after Piper brought up all the sins that many people struggle with, such as covetousness, bitterness, impatience, and total lack of belief.  Even though those sins are all bad, they really are all behind pride.  This is given more explanation when it later says, “Turning from God assumes that one knows better than God.”  When someone turns from God in some kind of sinful way and for something else, it is almost because we don’t necessarily believe in God’s sovereignty.  

The Bible gives a lot of warning against pride.  There are at least 153 verses that are in the Bible against pride, and there are many others that highlight the importance of humility.  One verse I want to highlight is James 4:10, and this says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.”  The Lord loves when his servants are humble and because of this, these very humble servants will be exalted.  This verse is also a reminder that one’s salvation is based completely on one’s humility which makes sense because without humility, we wouldn’t be able to depend on God.  If we are prideful, then we may believe we can live without Him.  We can believe we are going to be saved on our merits as opposed to the Lord, the heavenly father.  

Learning humility as an essential piece of salvation is important for the ability to serve others and reach others with God’s word. In cross-cultural servanthood, there is such a highlight of humility.  Humility is so important for mission work, and this book really does a really good job reminding anyone who wants to work in missions that it is the main virtue.  This is especially when we are going cross-cultural.  

One verse in this book comes from page 31 which says“Pride has no place in our lives; everything we have is by God’s kindness.”  We don’t have anything without God.  We don’t have any virtues without God’s work in our lives.  It can be really easy to gain pride and base all of our successes in our lives on that pride.  However, one problem with this is that then we can obviously start to look at people as projects and goals as opposed to just looking to serve the only God who is completely perfect. I know there are many times I have been guilty of this.  I have looked at the areas where I have served and used that to really feel good about myself as opposed to thinking how that service was good for God’s kingdom.    

This being said, we need to be willing to practice humility in all areas of our lives.  This means being willing to listen and to learn from others.  We don’t know everything, even if we really think there is a topic where we are experts, there are many things we can still learn.  It can be very easy in one culture to assume that we know best for others, especially when they do something different based on culture, when in reality their culture could provide a whole different insight to us.  Having the humility to listen, learn, and understand in missions, our work, and with our relationship with God will deepen every aspect of this walk.  My challenge for you this week is to pray for humility and an opportunity to serve others with complete humility. 

Hello again, It has been a while since I have spent some time writing to you. but it is the three year anniversary of you going home, so I thought I would take this time to talk to you.  There has been a lot that has happened recently, so I really needed to fill you in on all the new things that have occurred in this past year.      

I got a new job, and I moved back to Cedar Falls.  I remember you and I going to UNI football games and I remember you always keeping up with the UNI basketball team, so hopefully you would be happy I have moved back to Cedar Falls, back to where I made so many memories in college.  I am working at a nonprofit now.  I did love teaching and my four years at North Iowa, but I always knew that this is where my dreams were taking me.  I think that you also knew that, so hopefully you would be happy to know I have achieved this dream. 

I am going to be teaching financial literacy lessons to all grades.  I am very excited for this new experience.  I am excited to be giving life lessons to those who are in Waterloo, to the kids and the families who really need this opportunity to gain finances and financial literacy lessons.  I think that you would have enjoyed hearing about this work.  You would probably give a lot of good insight to my lessons and my preparations.  

I also wanted to tell you that I have published a devotional book.  You knew I always loved to read books especially Christian books and devotionals.  I used to write personalized devotionals for people when I was younger.  I am pretty sure I gave a few to you and grandma.  I am so happy that one of my lifelong goals was finally achieved, and I have finally published a piece of writing.  

I spoke at my old Laurens Library, and I talked about how I have always loved to write, but I definitely did more writing after you went home.  I had a lot of words in my head that needed to be flushed out and put to paper.  I hope that you don’t mind that I put you in part of my writing story, but it is so true.  Ever since I have lost you in this world, I have grown more in my writing and my desire to write.  I also sell my devotional book at a local store in Cedar Falls where I work once a month.  That is actually a really fun experience. I know you would have loved to come and visit me selling my book and the other works that are there.  

Mom and I went to the Hawkeye game last year! It was the first time she had been there since you went home.  I knew she wouldn’t buy tickets on her own because she is pretty sad about losing you and missing you, so I decided to buy the tickets myself and give them to her as a very early Christmas present.  We went to the Heroes game or the Nebraska v. Iowa game.  Sadly, the Hawkeyes played awful in the first half, so they lost.  You would have been upset by the work the team was putting in.  However, the time my mom and I got to have was awesome.  We didn’t have a hot dog, though.  We did think of you when we passed a hot dog stand.  We also went to the Amana colonies which was a great day to spend shopping (your favorite pastime I write sarcastically). 

I still miss you a lot.  The past two Sundays I have broken out in cries.  I would say that happens every month or every other month.  I hope you wouldn’t be upset to know that.  I know you wouldn’t want me to cry so much. Time is healing, but it is not 100% fixing the problem and the hurt.  I also know the other family members have really been affected by your absence.  I hope you will think of grandma.  She misses you a lot.  I hope you can give her some peace to know you are here at least in some way.  

I have gotten to be there for a lot of friends when they have been going through some kind of grief.  I have been able to offer condolences and really be able to relate and be there for them in different ways.  One verse that sticks out to me for any pain  as well as when I am helping others who are struggling after loss is Revelation 21: 4, “‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”  This is a good reminder that God will be there for those who have been struggling with any pain that is in this world.  

I hope that you are making memories wherever you are.  I know that God is just as amazing as he has always been described.  

Till I talk to you again, 

Love, Courtney

I do pray also for anyone who is reading this blog post to feel uplifted.  I hope you know the person who you are missing is looking down upon you in some way/ This has also been a very good reminder for me to reach out to those I love.  This is a reminder to make sure everyone who has been in my life knows that I love them, and I care about them.  You never know when it may be someone’s last days or minutes, so I pray that you find those people to really spend a great amount of time with.  

I have been trying really hard to be better at listening to Christian podcasts.  I had never been very good about being diligent in listening to God’s Word or to wisdom and insight from other believers as opposed to listening to music that doesn’t always have the strongest Christian message.  I have started the Chrsitine Caine podcast that comes out weekly.  I am not the most diligent, but I am trying to be more aware of this as an option for insight into God’s heart.  

In these last few weeks, she discussed the importance of stopping our comparisons.  Sometimes we can see how other Christians are living and are convinced we need to live a life that is more like theirs.  We can be pretty content with our lives, but then we can look at others and suddenly we are filled with jealousy.  This can be in all areas of life.  This can be with the items we own, the house we live in, the adventures we take, and the friends we have.  

We can even be filled with jealousy amidst our Christian walk.  We can look at the lives some Christians are living or some skills they have and desire to be just like them. We can believe that they really have everything all together.  We can start to fear we are not adding up.   We can presume that the role they have been called to is so much better than our own calling.  However, we shouldn’t look at our particular role in a way as competition with others.  

Christine Caine tells us a story about a time when her ACL took her out for weeks to months at a time.  The ACL in our knees is not the body part that stands out, but it is a part of the body that is incredibly important because it helps connect the femur bone to the tibia bone while also working as a stabilizer in the knee joint. Our knees are the thing that helps us walk, run, play, bike, and stand, making hurting the ACL a major setback.  Now, I have never hurt my ACL.  I have known many people including some of my former high school students who have hurt their ACLs, and I know that it ends up a lot of pain and there are many weeks, even months of recovery for this injury. 

 I have, however, hurt my meniscus twice.  I had surgery when I was a Jr. in high school.  At the time, the doctors removed the small piece of my meniscus that had ripped and smoothed down my meniscus to go back to its original functional shape.  The second time a piece of my meniscus was ripped so deeply, but the doctors still took a chance and decided to sew the piece of my meniscus back on to the rest of it.  The doctors saved my meniscus.  The meniscus is actually a very important piece of the body, especially the knee.  It is the soft padding that protects the bones and the ligaments from grinding on each other.  A person can live without a meniscus, but there is more likely a chance that it will result in severe pain on a more regular basis.  

Sometimes, people are like meniscuses. Stay with me now, I know that sounds strange.  However, even though I have talked about the importance of the meniscus, especially to ward off pain, it is not something that is very big or seemingly valuable.  It is not the showy body part that everyone sees and admires.  No one will ever walk up to someone and tell them they have a nice meniscus.  (At least I hope not, because that would be a bit weird).  But yet it is important for every person to have a good meniscus. One verse that points out the importance of every body part, even a meniscus is Ephesians 4:4, “There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling;” It is a good reminder that we have been called to one calling and one purpose and therefore need to work together as one body.  It is essential for me to remember how supportive I need to be of those who are in the body.  

Maybe that is you.  Maybe you are an encouragement to so many others.  Maybe you are the one that others go to for support and to reduce their pain.  Maybe your friends know that you are someone they can call and that you will come and help them out in any way that is possible.  I definitely have resonated with this a bit.  I may need to accept that I will not be the biggest body part in Christ’s body, but I can be someone that will help with the pain that may come in the body and be like a meniscus.    

There are other body parts that are very important that we don’t always think about.  For example, have you spent a lot of time thinking about your shoulders or your ankles or even your tonsils?  (I know that not everyone has tonsils, but I do believe that it can be a good blocker from toxins).  Similarly there are so many roles that are not necessarily up in lights when it comes to the Christian walk, but yet are so irreplaceable.  For example, the people who are in charge of the children’s ministry at the church.  They are the ones that are in charge of the little souls learning about Jesus.  This needs to be happening, and that is a great role to be in, if you are in that particular role.  

My challenge for you this week is to write down the strengths God has given you.  Have you got a lot of passion, are you determined, are you sensitive and a good listener?  Are you gentle or honest?  What has he given you?  Then if you really want to be silly or have some fun with this challenge, go ahead and think about which body part you would be.  I decided that I would be best suited as a meniscus with an encouraging spirit that enjoys being supportive.  What would you be? And how can you use that for God’s glory?  

This blog post is going to be a bit personal, but I wanted to give a few updates on the moving experience.  I do want this to be an encouragement for everyone who is moving in the future to remember to get involved and get connected in your new community.  It may be scary to jump right in, but I truly believe a person will become more established quicker the more involved in the community they instantly become. I also want it to be a reminder that while moving can seem like a lot of work, it is so worth it in the end.  

Moving to a new town is hard.  It isn’t just hard because of the packing boxes and the moving of the materials from one place to another.  It is hard because of paperwork and staying completely organized.  This includes changing your mail to your new address, updating your license and sometimes your plates, changing banks if you so choose, signing up for new insurances, etc.  It takes a lot of energy, and it can also be emotional.  It is a lot of the saying goodbye to the old things and the old community, cutting a bit of those ties, and starting anew in a new community.  

However, the other part of moving that is hard is finding everything so new.  When I was living in my old town, I had a job, yes, but I also had a bank account, a gym that I went to, a golf course where I had a membership, etc.  Moving to a new town means that I do have to work on finding new areas to exercise, golf, bike, run, and bank.  It is getting into a rhythm of the items that are necessary as well as the items that are for enjoyment and pleasure.  It is feeling confident in the new areas around the town.  It is the process of establishing myself in a new community besides just having it on paperwork.  I want to be plugged into a community. I want to find these new friends and new groups that I will feel welcomed into, and I want to welcome others into eventually.  

But I will also say that it is just so exciting.  I love that I have the opportunity to go to a new gym.  I love that it has so much different equipment and it has workout classes that have an awesome instructor.  That is definitely not something I had in my small town that I was living in before.  I also loved going to the new golf course.  It was fun to figure out how the layout is.  I loved my old golf course, but this one has more holes and therefore more opportunities to practice. I also reached out to some people about the opportunity for joining a community choir. I didn’t have a group like that in my old smaller community, so I am excited for the potential to get back into singing with a choir.    

I also knew that I definitely needed to find a church and a body of fellow believers to worship with.  I want to have a church that I can call home and that I can feel connected with.   I did find a church called Trinity Bible Church, and I am very excited to hear of all the new opportunities present there. I did recently go to the church’s Next Steps class where I was able to get plugged in.   I have discovered they need help with the Youth Sunday school, being plugged into a Bible Study group, and there is an opportunity to have a mentor that will meet with me one on one.  

Then there are also so many opportunities to volunteer in this community.  I have found one particular organization called House of Hope where I have gotten to go through the orientation and start some volunteering hours.  I can not wait to continue to serve the community of Waterloo and the people in it.  I am praying for more clear ways that I can be helpful and can be of service to those in that community.  

Again, I want this to be a reminder for anyone who may be leaving a community and joining a new one.  It is important to get yourself out there.  It can be easy to sit back and relax.  It can be easy to feel overwhelmed by all the newness.  However, I have found the best way to overcome that feeling of being overwhelmed is to dive deep into the community and to start to find ways to get around, serve the ones around you, and start talking to the people standing next to you.  It will still feel overwhelming at some points, but it will be so worth it in the end, if you just go right for it, right away.  

There are verses that really celebrate the new blessings that come from God.  One of those is Lamentations 3:22-23 which says, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”  This is a reminder that even in new places the Lord will give us new blessings and will be faithful.  Thank you all for reading about my update and I hope you will all be encouraged in any scary steps you may have to take in the future.  

I have been really diving into the book, “Future Grace,” by John Piper as of recently.  Through this book, I have been reminded of how to have belief in future grace.  God has shown such grace and mercy all through our lives and the history of the world, so we should have complete faith in God’s goodness and the faith that he will grant us in the future.  Yet there are many times when things in life can distract us from God’s goodness such as pride, desiring control, our anxieties, etc.  

Today I was reading about covetousness.  Oh man, this is something that I personally struggle with a lot.  I have tried really hard not to covet, but it can be so easy to fall into that trap.  I tend to really covet when it comes to other people’s talents and achievements.  For just one example, I am a writer.  I love to write devotional books and I love to write for my blog.  I have slowly been building up my writing career.  It is not my main job, but I dedicate time to it every day.  However, there will be times when I will look and see other people, other women, other young members of society succeeding, relatively more than me, when it comes to their personal writing careers.  I instantly get jealous of them.  I want what they have.  I want their accolades and their views.  I want to be seen by more people. 

Then I need to remember the reason for me writing in the first place.  The reason that I want to become a writer or write books and devotionals is because I love using writing as a way to reflect on my heart and my walk with Jesus and to hopefully help others do the same.  Through writing blog posts I am able to grow closer to God.  Even through this blog post, I am able to reflect on where I stand when it comes to being jealous or covetous.  Then I am hoping others will read my words and be encouraged and maybe sometimes healthily challenged by what I have written.  My main goal is to not make a lot of money or win a lot of awards or gain fame status through my words on a page. 

This brings me to one of the best quotes that I found from this John Piper book, and that is “Covetous is desiring something so much that you lose your contentment in God.”(Future Grace, John Piper, pg.237).  Wow.  It can be easy for me to believe that when I am coveting something of someone else’s that I can covet that item and still be just as close to God. I never thought of them being impacted by each other, but they definitely are.  As the Bible has often said, we can not serve two masters.  We can not be filled with desire for things of this world, while also being filled with desire to completely follow God.  

John Piper will go on to describe all the ways that being covetous and desiring what others have will do nothing but bring us a lot of negative emotions and reactions.  One of the obvious things is that the desiring of other things in this world will never truly satisfy us.  We may believe what we are coveting will completely fill us up, and maybe it will give us a high for a while.  However, then it will quickly fall away and leave us just as unsatisfied as before. 

This coveting of others will lead to falling into other sins.  We have all met that person who will go to any length to get the items that they are desiring, even if it is very harmful to both them and the world or community around them.  They are willing to hurt others and to cause destruction.  At the beginning those who have done that probably didn’t start out with the intention to cause harm, but the jealousy convinced them to cause harm. I have done that with my running and exercising.  I have often been jealous of others who are very strong and very in shape, so I sometimes feel the need to work out extra hard and long so I can be even more fit and strong.  This desire for even more can sometimes lead to a workout related obsession.  

Luke 12:15 is a very good example of remembering to not covet.  It says, “Then He said to them, “Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions.” The world consists of possessions and accolades, but one’s life should not consist of these possessions and greed.  It is very easy to be distracted by the shiny items that are in other people’s lives, but it is important that we are constantly on guard from the temptation of coveting.

It is important to remember that we shouldn’t be jealous of others.  My challenge for you this week is to spend time reflecting on what you tend to become jealous of when it comes to others.  What is the item that seems to draw you away from God or draw you closer to the items of this world?  It is important to be able to reflect on the items that take us away from God.  It is important to name the sin before we attempt to conquer it.  Then my next challenge for you is to think of one person whom you can talk that through with.  Again, being able to name the sin that you struggle with and being able to talk that through with someone will help you avoid falling into the trap of those jealousies more in the future.  

One of my favorite theologian writers is John Piper. He provides amazing insight for how one should live if they are to be a Christian.  I have just started the book, “Future Grace.” This book introduced a concept that I had never thought of, and one that I am very guilty of.  I often will fall under the debtor’s ethic.  It is having gratitude, but that gratitude almost feels like a burden that needs to be rectified.  

A debtor’s ethic is when you feel the need to repay someone for the good deed that they gave to you.  For example, if they do you a favor, then you instantly want to do a favor for them in order to pay them back.  Not in the sense of returning a favor when the times call for it like one day you need a ride because your car is in the shop, so you catch a ride from your friend.  Then a few months later your friend now needs work done on their car and needs a ride, so you give them a ride.  That isn’t necessarily a debtor’s ethic situation.  This is just being a good friend, both ways.  When one is in crisis, the other helps.  However, having a debtor’s ethic conviction is that feeling of necessity to repay someone once they have done something kind for you.  

I personally really struggle with this concept.  I tend to feel the need to pay back someone once they have done something nice for me.  I wish I didn’t feel this way.  I wish I just felt happy with their gift, their service, or their kind words.  I can’t accept whatever they are giving me without feeling that I now owe them.   I never would have thought of that being a problem before.  I would never have described that as feeling like a debt that I need to repay.  I just always considered that being polite and the natural reaction to good deeds.  However, I am now realizing that when someone does something kind, I should just accept it as a kind gift.  They are probably excited to be showing service or love to someone, and I should be a very happy benefactor of that, not as though they have now given me a chore of debt that I need to repay to them before the week is over. 

I also will be honest that I struggle with this the other way around.  When I kindly go out of my way and give a nice gift or spend some time in servitude to my friends or the people near me, I am hoping that they will be thinking of the kind ways they can pay it back to me.  I know that is not something I should do, and I have been trying to find ways to fight against this selfish inclination, but it is something I resort to here and there.  In 1 Corinthians 13:5 (Which is part of the love chapter) says, “It (love) does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”  This is a good reminder for me that I am not showing true love if I care more about what I can get out of it as opposed to what can best benefit the other person.  

This really becomes a problem when someone feels as though they owe God for everything he has done.  Yes, we should have a desire to please God and to serve him, but we shouldn’t ever feel as though we can pay him back for what he has done for us in the past.  One quote that came up in this first chapter of John Piper’s book was “God meant gratitude to be a spontaneous expression of pleasure in the gift and the good will of another.  He did not mean it to be an impulse to return favors.  If gratitude is twisted into a sense of debt, it gives birth to the debtor’s ethic- and the effect is to nullify grace.” (Future Grace, page 30)  

I personally have struggled with that a bit from time to time as well.  I don’t try to, but there are times when I will feel as though I need to do a certain action in order to make it up to God for the good works that he has done for me.  While yes, it is important to serve God and to know how we can best praise him, it shouldn’t be done in a way of legalism or the act of praising God because we feel as though we have to, not because we have a desire or a love to.  Legalism focuses more on religious rules and regulations as opposed to having a relationship with Christ.  

Piper’s main point is that we should not focus on doing service to God because we feel we owe him, but rather because we have seen his good works and we have seen his grace in the past, that we should be grateful and filled with love as well as have faith in his future actions. We have seen the way that he has taken care of us and we need to have faith that he will have that same care and love for us in the future.  

This next week, I do have a few challenges.  First, I want you to notice someone doing something nice for you.  This could be anything.  This could be showing you a service such as grabbing you a cup of coffee, helping you at your job, or even paying you a kind compliment or encouragement.  However, you are to just to thank them and let that good deed fill you with happiness.  Don’t feel the need to repay them back.  Let their nice deed, be just that, a nice deed, and then let your gratitude be just that, gratitude.  Then the second one is to take some time and give God a prayer that is simply filled with gratitude and praise.  This is focusing on the good that God has done and how great he really, truly is. 

Recently, I have had some tire issues.  Actually I have had two different problems with tires.  I had some problems with my car tires, including a nail in one, and in my bike tires.  In both sets of transportation, my tires were not filled to be as full as they should have been and they were not accepting air as easily.  I have really noticed the difference between driving with the flat tires as opposed to the now filled tires.  It was so much easier to drive on the tires that were properly filled with air.  The last couple of times, I have gone on bike rides, I have felt as though I was flying.  It felt so natural and smooth.  It has made my recent bike rides undeniably and incredibly better.  Driving around town in my car has also felt a lot better and smoother.  I feel as though I whip through town really fast.  

There is a metaphor in the Bible of building a house or shelter on a strong foundation as you build your faith on God as a strong foundation.  This can be found in Matthew 7:24-25 and it says, “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been found on the rock.”  That person was able to have protection from the terrible rain storm because their house was solidly placed. They were immovable. Similarly when a person has a strong foundation in their faith, they are not able to be moved by the trials that come from the people of this world.   

I believe that this idea of having filled tires is very similar to that metaphor.  The only addition I am going to suggest and make is that when it comes to these filled tires, there is the presence of moving or going forward, being able to go and be sent.  A house cannot move from its spot, that is really its whole point.  A car is a form of transportation and therefore is supposed to go from place to place, and that is its purpose.  Similarly, we as Christians are called to stay in our beliefs, like a house, but we are also sent to go as we are in a car.  

Have you ever felt as though you have been sent to do God’s work, but you are in the midst of feeling like you have flat tires.  You want to go, you want to serve, but the energy and the stamina is running out.  You’re tired, you’re anxious, and if we are being completely honest, you don’t have a lot of desire to actually go.  I know that I have felt that way.  There have been many times where I know that I should minister to someone, but the actual desire to put one foot in front of the other and talk to them or show them God’s love is dwindling.  I simply felt no desire to go about doing the good work that God was setting before me. 

I believe there are a few reasons we can mainly feel that way, and the first one is discouragement.  Maybe we thought we were making a breakthrough with someone.  We were showing them God’s love, we were sharing our faith with them, but they didn’t have any desire to go to church or learn more about God in a Bible Study.  Maybe you applied for a certain position within a church or Godly mission program, and you were not accepted.  There are going to be hiccups and bumps along our road of sharing and doing God’s work.  Those moments can be discouraging, and if we don’t have good “tires” or a good foundation, they can be almost debilitating.  

I would say another reason we can be this way is through comparison.  This is one that I personally struggle with.  Sometimes we can look over to our right or our left and see a shiny car that goes faster and sounds better and looks nicer, at least in our minds, and then we can start to compare our perfectly functional car.  Similarly, we can do this in our walk and servitude with Christ.  We can look around us and see others who seem to be doing better and going farther with their walk with Christ and in their service to Christ than we could ever imagine for ourselves.  This type of comparison can sometimes lead to a thought that no matter what we do, it will not matter.  We are not them.  We are not able to do the things that they are doing.  

Just like our tires in our areas of transportation that need to be serviced, so do the tires in our spiritual and emotional life.  I believe the best thing I have found when it comes to taking care of myself spiritually and emotionally is through going to church and through meeting with other believers.  There are, of course, the things that we can do alone such as reading the Bible, praying, or listening to worship songs, but there is something great about being able to meet with other believers and have them bring truth and love into your life.  It is a chance to tell them the areas where you have been struggling and to ask for prayer requests.  It is the chance to listen to their wisdom and their encouragement.  It is a great opportunity to feel the Holy Spirit amidst more than just yourself.  Plus, they can be seen as a person to keep you accountable in your personal service to God.  

This being said, I will bring you two challenges this week.  First, how are your “tires”? (I am referring to the spiritual and the emotional tires, but it is always good to check the physical tires on any of your transportation items, so maybe this is a good week to do that as well).  How are you feeling spiritually? Do you feel burnt out or upset?  Or do you feel ready to go to take on the world and to spread the word about Christ?  Then the second is to find that church friend that you can talk to about any of the issues that you may be having in your spiritual life.  I know there are so many Christians and people to talk to that will want to help you grow closer to God.  I pray you find some good ones.  I also pray that you are ready to start up your engines, because we have some good work to accomplish for our Lord.  

I have been doing a lot of learning recently when it comes to my new job at the Job (Jobe) Foundation.  It is a nonprofit that works with youth and families living in poverty.  I have had a lot of learning and adjusting to do.  Through this job, it has definitely cemented my feelings of needing to make anything, including a job and even a relationship with Christ, your own. 

I have contemplated this a lot for two reasons.  One, it is summertime.  The Job Foundation where I now work does not do regular programming during the summer.  Therefore, there are not as many appointments or lessons or families coming through as a whole.  There is still plenty of work to be done and there is still information to be gained, but it is not at the fastest pace. Second, My new coworkers have been really good about not wanting to overwhelm me with information or tasks.  They know that I just moved and am getting settled in.  Because of these two reasons, I have not been given a super long list of items to complete. Time has been given to me to use how I best see fit.  

This being said, I have had a lot of time to create and brainstorm.  What are ways that I can make this work that I do here the best that I can?  What are some ways that I can contribute to this new organization?  What are some new things I can bring to the table?  There have been times when I have sat at my desk and contemplated, but then there are other times when creativity and ideas are just coming to the brain and I have a list of projects I am starting on.  I know there are skills and ideas I can bring to the table and to the position.  I just have to remember the training and the education that I have been blessed with to make it happen. 

When kids first get a job or even when they are in school, it becomes all about what other people want them to do.  They need to complete this worksheet with this many problems at this time.  At usual first jobs, it is stacking shelves or serving customers, or watching over kids.  There are tasks involved. Follow the orders that are given to you. There is a straight level of obedience.  There are some opportunities for creativity when completing a project or how you choose to answer questions, but otherwise the person’s work will look very similar to other people’s work.  

However, as you make it into your career, it becomes all about making decisions and designing things that are for the betterment of the company without necessarily being told what to do.  It is important that a person thinks about the ways they can make their career and what they by their own skills and training can bring to the job.  

This is true in all areas of life.  I think we can easily fall into the trap of listening to what everyone else wants us to do when it comes to following God.  Yes, I believe there is great advice and wisdom that can be shared through the many other of God’s followers, but ultimately every single person’s relationship and walk with God is going to be different than the person standing next to them.  

It is important that when we start to think about our relationship with God, we go through the same thinking process that we did when it came to the job reflection.  What are some things that we can bring to the table?  What is the influence that I personally have that I can then use to spread the Gospel?  What are the ways that I can grow and prosper to be as close to God as possible? 2 Timothy 2:15 says, “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.” 

I have two challenges for you this week.  The first one is for you to think about your particular job or career.  This could even be if you are a stay-at-home mother or a student.  Those are both roles that you are fulfilling.  What is something that you can bring to the table of your job?  What are the skills that you are good at and can really center on? Then I would like you to focus on growth to be the best at the position that you have been given.  Remember that God has called you to the job that you are at, and he expects you to give him the best of the time that you are there. 

Then the second part is what can you do to grow your relationship with Christ.  What is the way that you can grow closer to God?  Who are the people that you can see and serve in your day-to-day life?  How can you help the vision and the mission of Christ grow daily? Devoting time to God is a personal relationship and so it is important that we make this relationship very special, unique and beautiful. 

I am going to be candid with you all.  I am a huge people pleaser.  I like to be liked by others.  I like to know that others enjoy talking to me and getting to know me.  Quite frankly, I also enjoy the praises of people on a pretty regular basis.  I know that is not the thing that I should be seeking anymore as a Christian, but it is sometimes so hard to fight the good feeling of praise from others that are around me.  

Recently, I have been burned again by a particular friend group. I have been hurt by people, again. Did they mean to hurt me? I would imagine they may not have, but here I am, hurting.  I tried so hard to be accepted by this friend group.  I found myself working hard, like extra hard, at relationships that maybe just weren’t meant to be as close as I wanted them to be. In the end, even though I found some individual good friendships, I maybe wasn’t meant to hang out with them in a big group.  

One of the biggest reasons I felt as though I was not as accepted was because a few of my values were definitely different from those in this group.  They enjoyed items that I was not as interested in and had quite a few values that were different from mine. I never fell into temptation to lower my morals, but I was putting myself often in uncomfortable situations because of these relationships.  It is unfortunate, but this has helped me learn that it is not their acceptance that is really important.  It is not their acceptance that matters at all in the end. 

I am sure that everyone has been there, where there is that group of people who you just want to be loved by, even if sometimes their values and their morals seem different from your own.  It can even be easy to find yourself blurring the lines of some of those morals and values that you have so earnestly tried to uphold.  We as social creatures want to be liked and want to build relationships.  This is a very positive thing.  It is just when we start to become too focused on their acceptance and their love that we run into problems.  

There is only one opinion that should mean a lot to me, and that is how Jesus perceives me.  His acceptance is the only one that I should seek.  It can be hard in this tempting world of others but it is something that we should also remember and resiliently try to fight through.  There is a verse that really captures this teaching and it is in Galatians 1:10, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” This is a good reminder that if I am so very focused on the relationships of other people, I am not really a full hearted servant to Christ.  

This is a very hard temptation to fight for many people.  Again, we are social creatures and meant to be surrounded by others.  We are meant to live amongst and grow in a community.  However, we are also fallen creatures.  We easily make mistakes and do wrong things.  We also then can start to fall prey to becoming too committed or too focused on the people around us as opposed to the one who put the people there in the first place.  It is the hard line we have to always fight between finding the good things in the blessings that God has given us while also not becoming too attached to them.

My challenge for you this week is the same challenge that I have given myself recently.  I had to think through the relationships where I was caring too much about a person’s opinion.  My challenge then for you is to think through the relationships where you care a bit too much about others’ opinion of you. This can even be the people you go to for issues before you originally bring your issues to God, or this can be the person who you are always trying to impress, that it is taking over a bit too much of your thoughts.  

The second challenge then is very similar to the first challenge.  My challenge after you have thought through the people who you seem to care too much about is to pray to God about those very people.  I would like you to pray over their hearts.  Don’t become bitter with them even if they haven’t always been impressed by you.  Pray for their future and their standing with God.  It is important to spend time in prayer to pray for God to fight your temptation against pleasing people.  It is good to love people.  It is good to love people with all that you can, and to be as Christ-like as possible to them.  However, it is again not as important as fighting for God and fighting to be the best version of yourself you can be for him.