Appreciating a Year of Therapy:

I just finished about a year or so of therapy.  This was quite the year to do it.  Since starting therapy, I thought about changing careers, then I actually did change careers and moved to a new town and got acquainted there.  My therapist really got to see me through a lot of highs and lows of this last year, and I am so grateful that she was with me every step on that journey.  I would often get very excited to tell her about a new job offer or an interview.  I would be proud of when I could better evaluate and control my emotions, so I could tell her how I was growing in that.  I even told her when I went on a few dates because she wanted me to get out there more when it came to the dating world.  There will definitely be sometimes when I will miss telling her this news. 

I have two main reasons for ending therapy.  One, I can’t personally afford it right now.  It has increased in pricing every month and while I could actually afford it, the extra money that I will have from choosing to end this service sounds like the better option.  My current therapist also told me that she would say I am in a healthy place to go off without her anymore. It was both so encouraging and sad to hear her say this.  I was encouraged because she has seen the growth that I have made in this past year, both in my mental health as well as where I was in my life and she is now excited to see me off.  It is sad, though, because I will miss giving her these life updates.  

I know that I have grown in this experience.  I struggled a lot with jealousy and feeling hurt by not feeling included, and even struggling with bitterness from time to time with either friends or with trying to find a relationship.  My therapist was amazing at catching hints of bitterness starting to form in my heart and telling me so.  She would always say that bitterness is not something I want to start growing in my heart.  It is easier to get rid of in the beginning, and It would be much harder to get rid of when it has really hardened in the heart.  

Through this year of therapy, I have realized that it is so important to spend time working on oneself.  I know that one needs to work on oneself because we can definitely get into our own lives and our own rhythms that we can easily lose sight in possibly bad habits we have fallen into or our emotions that can often get in our way.  I know one bad habit I got into was not genuinely having faith.  My therapist knew that I was a Christian believer, and she knew this was a big piece of my life.  She knew I loved to center my life on Jesus. However, there were many times when I would lack faith in what God was doing in my life.  She would be good to point out when my thoughts were always going towards the negative and not believing that anything positive could come out of my life.  I have been reminded of just how important faith really can be. 

There is a Bible verse that while harsh, can be a good verse in regards to this topic of self-reflection.  Matthew 7:5, “First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” We can sometimes struggle as people to be judgmental with others around us before we really take the time to look at ourselves. I am not saying it is good to judge someone by looking at them, but we really shouldn’t do that when we come from a place of superiority and judgment looking down on them.  There are a lot of emotions and sins and problems that every person is struggling through and growing through, and being able to be reflective on that is highly important.  

I also know that I spend a good deal of time trying to be helpful to others just in regard to my role at my job, and my volunteering experiences at church.  While it is important to care about others, I do realize that I need to be very good about trying to grow in myself.  While I am taking a break from therapy, mostly because of financial reasons, I do know that I need to be willing to talk to someone, either a therapist I can find for once a month or someone who can disciple me and my walk with Christ.  

My challenge for you this week is to find one discipline or item that you want to personally grow in this week. If that is spending more time in prayer, make a goal to pray at least once a day this next week.  If it is reading the Bible, set a goal to read one chapter of the Bible every day this week.  If it is just taking time to sit and relax from anxiety, my goal is that you set aside some hours to do that.  We can’t fully take care of others or be good stewards of the Christian faith if we also don’t put time and care into ourselves.   I pray you have a good week in whatever area you have chosen to grow in.