In the End, it is not their Acceptance that Matters:

I am going to be candid with you all.  I am a huge people pleaser.  I like to be liked by others.  I like to know that others enjoy talking to me and getting to know me.  Quite frankly, I also enjoy the praises of people on a pretty regular basis.  I know that is not the thing that I should be seeking anymore as a Christian, but it is sometimes so hard to fight the good feeling of praise from others that are around me.  

Recently, I have been burned again by a particular friend group. I have been hurt by people, again. Did they mean to hurt me? I would imagine they may not have, but here I am, hurting.  I tried so hard to be accepted by this friend group.  I found myself working hard, like extra hard, at relationships that maybe just weren’t meant to be as close as I wanted them to be. In the end, even though I found some individual good friendships, I maybe wasn’t meant to hang out with them in a big group.  

One of the biggest reasons I felt as though I was not as accepted was because a few of my values were definitely different from those in this group.  They enjoyed items that I was not as interested in and had quite a few values that were different from mine. I never fell into temptation to lower my morals, but I was putting myself often in uncomfortable situations because of these relationships.  It is unfortunate, but this has helped me learn that it is not their acceptance that is really important.  It is not their acceptance that matters at all in the end. 

I am sure that everyone has been there, where there is that group of people who you just want to be loved by, even if sometimes their values and their morals seem different from your own.  It can even be easy to find yourself blurring the lines of some of those morals and values that you have so earnestly tried to uphold.  We as social creatures want to be liked and want to build relationships.  This is a very positive thing.  It is just when we start to become too focused on their acceptance and their love that we run into problems.  

There is only one opinion that should mean a lot to me, and that is how Jesus perceives me.  His acceptance is the only one that I should seek.  It can be hard in this tempting world of others but it is something that we should also remember and resiliently try to fight through.  There is a verse that really captures this teaching and it is in Galatians 1:10, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” This is a good reminder that if I am so very focused on the relationships of other people, I am not really a full hearted servant to Christ.  

This is a very hard temptation to fight for many people.  Again, we are social creatures and meant to be surrounded by others.  We are meant to live amongst and grow in a community.  However, we are also fallen creatures.  We easily make mistakes and do wrong things.  We also then can start to fall prey to becoming too committed or too focused on the people around us as opposed to the one who put the people there in the first place.  It is the hard line we have to always fight between finding the good things in the blessings that God has given us while also not becoming too attached to them.

My challenge for you this week is the same challenge that I have given myself recently.  I had to think through the relationships where I was caring too much about a person’s opinion.  My challenge then for you is to think through the relationships where you care a bit too much about others’ opinion of you. This can even be the people you go to for issues before you originally bring your issues to God, or this can be the person who you are always trying to impress, that it is taking over a bit too much of your thoughts.  

The second challenge then is very similar to the first challenge.  My challenge after you have thought through the people who you seem to care too much about is to pray to God about those very people.  I would like you to pray over their hearts.  Don’t become bitter with them even if they haven’t always been impressed by you.  Pray for their future and their standing with God.  It is important to spend time in prayer to pray for God to fight your temptation against pleasing people.  It is good to love people.  It is good to love people with all that you can, and to be as Christ-like as possible to them.  However, it is again not as important as fighting for God and fighting to be the best version of yourself you can be for him.