But besides that, It’s Clean!

I have said it before, and I will say it again; I hate cleaning.  I have definitely grown better at cleaning as I have started to live on my own.  Not that I necessarily enjoy it, but I am now aware that I will not be able to pawn it off on someone else. I would actually say that I am fairly good at cleaning today.  I regularly put everything away, and I will usually take the time to dust, vacuum, sweep, etc.  

However, I can keep some places incredibly unclean.  One of those places is the fridge.  I stuff my fridge full and forget to remove the food that is in the fridge until way after the expiration date and when they can sometimes get really gross.  I also will often have very cluttered cupboards or closets.  I often develop a mindset of “as long as it is put away-it is pretty much clean!”  Never mind that the closets pretty much explode everytime I try to open them.

There are a few negative side effects to having ugly and dirty areas, even when most of my apartment is clean.  For one, I sometimes can’t find something.  When I tend to put a lot of materials in one closet, there are a few items that really get lost and unfindable.  One time I even found my glasses, (after I had already bought a new pair) in one of these closets.  It was incredibly important, and it was something that I needed for necessary and daily life, but I couldn’t find it because I was unorganized.   I also know that in some instances this can actually be unhealthy.  When it came to the fridge, there were a few foods, especially like the orange juice and the strawberries that were either horrendously old or moldy by the time they were put in the garbage.  It is not good to have these disgusting foods next to the healthy foods.   

I started to think that there may be areas like this in my heart.  Maybe, I can put out a persona that my heart is completely clean, but if you give closer inspection, I have some very unclean places deep inside.  These may be sins I am trying to cover up and hide and pretend as though they are not there.  This may be a shame I don’t want anyone else to see.  This could be a burden I want to forget that I have to carry.  This may be the unforgiveness or the anger towards another when I am the one left in pain.

I was struck again while in church as we continue to go through the book of Genesis.  Genesis chapter 4 brings us amazing insight to what can happen when we do not take good care of our hearts and look deep into what is happening in there.  Genesis 4 shows us the story of Cain and Abel.  To give a short run down, Cain does not give God his best when it comes to his sacrifice, while Abel finds his best meat from his best animals to give to God.  Obviously the better gift is one where someone actually cares about the gift, so Abel’s gift is accepted while Cain’s is rejected.  

Cain becomes angry and jealous.  God comes to Cain to talk to him.  “Why are you angry?”  With this question, God is not only showing his love and care for Cain, but he is also giving a warning.  He is warning Cain to think about his anger and his jealousy.  He is giving him a chance to evaluate his heart before he makes a mistake.  Cain does not heed God’s warning, and will end up murdering his brother in the garden.  His unclean heart led to complete destruction of a person and would ultimately lead to a lot of downfalls for his future family members.  

This is all a good reminder that we need to get a handle on what is lurking in the shadows of our hearts.  These are the things we would rather keep in the shadows.  The places we do not want to clean, like a messy drawer, a full closet, or a stuffed refrigerator.  God provides some wonderful ways we can try to keep our hearts clean, but it does require us to have a deep level of vulnerability.  First, he provides us with the ability to pray.  He is not a God who wants to ignore his people.  He is a God who loves us and wants to hear all of our deep thoughts and our unyielding pain.  He allows us to come to him with everything, so we can have the opportunity to get rid of any grievances we may have had previously.  

Second, God has instructed us to invest in the lives of others and have them invest in us.  The beauty of fellowship is often highlighted in the Bible for the productivity of the followers who participate in it.  I have recently started going to therapy with a Christian therapist.  The reason I started to go was I realized that my anxiety and my negative self-talk was getting to the point that I could no longer ignore.  It was causing me incredible pain, and my heart was not well.  It has been good to talk about the items that give me hurt and make me insecure.  It has been incredibly helpful to talk through how to better talk to myself and to think about the relationships around me.  

Lastly, God also gives us his word, which is the giver of all encouragement.  The word will be a beacon of light when our hearts are feeling dark and unclean.  One verse that I want to highlight is Psalm 51:10 which says, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”  The Lord wants us to have a clean heart, and a whole heart.  A complete, whole, clean heart does not include those dark crevices.  We often learn that the heart is a big decider of what we will do and where we will go.  When we have the impure or the ugly, dirty things that are left behind in our hearts, more often than not, they will show up somewhere in our life.  Good news for us shown in this verse is that God wants to help us renew and create our clean hearts.