Do not let Bitterness Settle amidst your Heart:

I was hurt and I cried a lot.  People were hanging out without me.  They were having fun, and I wasn’t around.  They didn’t invite me.  I was nothing to them.  After all I have done for them! After all the presents I have bought for them! All the encouraging words! My tears went from tears of sadness to tears of anger.  My heart was quickly turning to stone, and then… God rescued me from myself.  If I stayed there in anger, I would have been filled with bitterness.  I would have been filled with hatred for so many people.  The ones that had hurt me and the ones who haven’t hurt me yet.  It was a yucky few hours. However, this is a good realization that many times we as people can be filled with bitterness.  In fact, I would say that every single person knows at least one person who is filled with complete bitterness.  They are really hard to be around, and they can make life situations really hard for others. 

The Bible has a lot to say about bitterness. In fact, the word bitter is mentioned at least 88 times in the Bible.  One of those times it is mentioned is from Ephesians 4:31, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” This verse is so direct.  There is not messing around with this verse and bitterness itself.  God wants us to get rid of all bitterness.  He doesn’t want us to be filled with any bitterness or anger.   God has taught us how to let go of bitterness through his continued love and forgiveness of our sins.  God wants us to be like him.  If he is willing to forgive us, then we need to be willing to forgive our enemies.  However, God also wants us to be willing to forgive because he knows being filled with bitterness will only hurt us.  It will not impact others as much as it will impact us.  It will impact our thoughts and inflict our heart.  We will not be filled with joy and peace, as he had designed for us.

I believe there are many ways to avoid bitterness taking root in our hearts.  The first is to feel your feelings, but in the healthiest way possible.  I wasn’t invited by people I loved people I have helped in the past, supported, and been there for.  Why didn’t they want me there?  I cried.  I cried to other people.  I talked it out, both by myself, and with others.  I was a bit angry.  I even said some swear words.  (I am not the proudest of that.)  However, in the end, I got out my emotions.  I didn’t stuff those emotions down.  I didn’t try to pretend they weren’t there.  I didn’t act as though everything was ok.  

Then I was tired.  Have you ever been so tired from your own emotions?  Have you ever cried so much that you have developed a headache.   I not only was tired, like I wanted to go to bed, but I also was then tired of being angry.  Then I did some actual thinking.  I thought about other’s perspectives.  I tried to understand their rationale and their thinking process.  This is where I really had to decide if I was going to put the emotions into my heart and let it harden my heart or let it soften my heart.  I had to become more aware of the people around me.  I had to take myself out of the center and become willing and open to forgive people I do really love. 

I then spent some time praying. If I was going to be willing to allow forgiveness to enter my heart, then I needed God’s help.   Here is what I would highly recommend.  I know we can believe God is too big and too perfect in order to care about our small little problems.  I believe we can think about God being a big God, yes, but also he cares about everything that is happening in his world.  He is caring about the little things, and he is caring about the big things.  He cares about and loves his people, so he cares about any of your concerns.  

I lastly told another believer what I learned from this experience.  Because I avoided allowing bitterness to enter my heart and my life, it was still a very big learning experience.   I needed to spend time talking to other believers to get advice and thoughts as to how to best continue in this new found joy, peace, and forgiveness.  One of those believers was my mom.  I had already talked to my mom when I was in the midst of crying, but then I talked to her again about how much I wanted to not be bitter.  Godly brothers and sisters in Christ were meant to help us in any stage of life.  Please find a person who is willing to listen to you in the midst of becoming bitter.  This is not an easy path to resist, and it is much harder on your own.  

If there is any bitterness you personally feel is growing in your heart, I pray you will find peace instead.  I do want to challenge you to think about the items that may cause you bitterness.  What are the things that when you think about, put you in a bad head space?  Who is a person that always brings up anger and resentment in your heart?  Then I do want you to spend time in prayer over those very items.  Bitterness is such a soul crushing experience.  I don’t want your heart to be weighed down by thoughts of bitterness.  I pray God will fill you with his forgiveness that can then be pushed out to the broken world amidst us.