Listen More, Talk Less:

I recently finished a book that I would highly recommend called, “The Girls in the Wild Fig Tree,” by Nice Leng’ete.  It was amazing.  It was a true story about a young girl from Kenya, from the Maasai tribe that runs away from a tradition that maybe isn’t practical or healthy.  She talks highly of her people but also acknowledges that there are some traditions we can have in different societies that are not good for the people the tradition is serving.  She ran away from this particular tradition, (female circumcision) and even when she was shunned after, she still went back to her community in order to talk to them about why this particular tradition is wrong. It took some time, but she was able to get the elders to listen. 

Nice loved her father.  He died at a young age, before she was in the midst of changing tradition her community followed, but she remembers the messages and lessons he taught her before he died.  Her father taught her to listen more and talk less, especially when discussing items with people who disagree or think differently than you.  We are not going to change their opinion by coming in and telling them they are exhibiting incorrect behavior or that their opinions/traditions/thoughts are flawed.  We need to be willing to listen to their point of view and then be able to ask questions in order to fully understand them better.  This will get the people to trust us enough to listen, when offering advice or thoughts of our own.  

It is important for me to remember that God is a listener, and therefore, he teaches us how to be a listener as well.  Jeremiah 29:12 reminds us, “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”  God says that we can go to Him, and he will not only hear us, but he listens and cares about the words we bring up to him.  He is an all-powerful, all-knowing God, yet he spends the time listening to the little conversations and the little thoughts of the people here on the earth.  

I am a talker.  My mom and dad will often tell me they are impressed by my ability to talk, non-stop for hours.  This then is a good reminder for me, when I am with others, I need to make sure I am giving them the chance to talk and speak their thoughts.  I need to give them a chance to give their perspective and their opinions, before I give my own.  Just as God has shown us his example of listening, we are also commanded in the Bible to listen to those around us.  James 1:19 says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” While I do love to talk, I need to remember that listening is incredibly important for developing relationships with others and with God, himself.  

The other piece of listening Nice will bring up has more to do with cross-nation/international conversations, specifically amongst those in the west versus the east. Nice will describe throughout the book about working with a company called Amref that is an African sponsored company employing Africans to help other Africans.  It is highly important to them that their own people are willing to go out and make lives better for others in their country.  Nice brings up that westerners will often try to come over, help for a week or two, and then they will leave because their short term trip is over.  She is not trying to shame those people, and neither am I in this blog post, however, I do believe it is important to think about these short term mission trips from the perspectives of a group of people who are the recipients of mission trips.  

I have gone on mission trips before.  I went to Hungary and taught at an English camp when I was in my freshman year of college.  It is very important for those of us who live in the west to be aware that it is not our job to go to another country, stay for two weeks, and then fix all their problems to be like they are running in the United States.  Make everything in that country run like the states or the west does. Sometimes we can think that we have all the answers. We don’t need to learn.  We don’t need to listen.  We don’t need to think of a new way to live or to think. This is a good reminder that the countries we visit shouldn’t be created like the countries in the west.   They are not us.  They are their own country, and we need to respect that they have different solutions and will have different cultures or traditions.  

This is not just an important reminder for us when we are out on mission trips, but in any other way we are seeking to share Jesus, or we are seeking to help someone.  We don’t have to put ourselves on a pedestal and act as though we are the saviors in the situation.  We are simply someone there from God who is helping someone else.  One of the best ways to continuously be humble in helping others is through listening.  Spending time listening to others around, gives us new perspectives and shows us different ways to love. And all of this is Praise be to God.