The importance of Love Languages:

One of the books that I have loved the most is, “The 5 love languages,” by Gary Chapman.  I have loved this book because it taught me that people don’t always think like me (what a concept) and then to go along with that, people do not love the same as me.  If you are not familiar with the love languages, they are basically five different ways that a person can love someone else.  There are gifts, physical touch, acts of service, quality time, and words of affirmation.  Each person has a way that they feel the most loved and the ways that they choose to love others.  Gary Chapman, the psychologist behind the Love Languages has written many books on the concept and how these different love languages can improve each and every one of our relationships.  This also is important to note that this is not just about our significant other relationships, but every single relationship that we are involved in.  

If you are a family member of mine or a friend, then you have most likely received a handmade card as well as a present from me.  This is because my number one love language is “gifts.”   I love thinking of others when I am shopping or when I am making a card, so that way I can physically give someone something that they can remember me by.  (My second is “words of affirmation,” so that is why cards are extra important.  I can then write a nice note.) Then, in turn, I also love getting gifts and cards.  I don’t necessarily need anything expensive.  I don’t want everyone to spend millions of dollars on me.  In fact, most of the time, it is the little things that I love the most.  Whether this is a small bookmark because I love to read or a picture of a sunflower because they know those are my favorite.   

  However, I have definitely learned that I need to make sure to show love to others through some of the different ways.  One way that I have been trying to grow in regard to others’ love languages is through the “act of service.” I have learned through being a teacher, that there are many jobs that we each do.  There are many times that we are all overwhelmed.  We have lesson plans, grading, and various other projects to keep the school running.  Most teachers that I know do extra work to make sure the students receive help, and that the school is overall successful.  I have discovered through this that it is incredibly important that we help each other out.  Service was never a high love language for me.  However, I have learned that there are many others who really truly feel loved, when someone asks them, “Do you need help?”  This can, of course, be something simple like asking to fold programs for concerts when one of your friends is the choir teacher or offering to watch over students, so a teacher can take a break.  

Another love language that is not by any means my number one is spending “quality time.”  I do admit that I appreciate spending time with others, but for the majority of my life, I also appreciate spending time by myself because I have a lot of work that I need to get done on a regular basis.  This is also important that this is not just spending quality time doing the activities that I enjoy, but rather they need to be the items that the other person enjoys. I have learned that this gives us an opportunity to know those around us a lot better.  If we only know how we appreciate love or how we appreciate spending time, we are not taking the time to really get to know those around us and what they need to make them feel loved.  Just because I love to give and receive gifts does not mean that my friend feels the most loved through this.  In the end, I am not really taking the time to get to know my friends and what they really, truly need.  

 There are many verses in the Bible that center around love and one of those is, Romans 12:10, which says, “Be devoted to one another in love.  Honor one another above yourselves.”  The verse right before this in Romans 12:9, starts with, “Love must be sincere.” It is vitally important that we love all those around us, and that is everyone who is in your life, both a person who is a part of the Christian walk and those who are not.  We need to care about people and love others sincerely, caring to know and love them more than how we would prefer to be loved.  This may, in the end, take more time and effort, but I promise you will have stronger and more loving relationships than you did previously.