Dear Courtney,

Dear Courtney, 

You love to learn.  You love to read.  You love to watch documentaries.  You love to listen to informational podcasts.  Specifically, you love to learn about what are some of the injustices in the world and what can be done to fix it.  You love people, so therefore you want to learn about them.  This is obviously one of the reasons that you are a Spanish teacher.  You loved learning about the Spanish language and Latin American cultures, so now you get to teach others this same passion.   

You are a doer.  Not only do you love to learn about the things of this world, but you also love to do things for the world.  You love to work for non-profits and do fundraisers that are making actual change.  It can be really hard to do this on a regular basis, and there are times when you don’t want to think about anything but your own life.  However, then you learn more and more about the injustices that are in the world, and then you remember your higher purpose of putting that learned content into action.  

You are genuine.  The way that you feel is what you express out into the world.  You genuinely love to talk to the people who you are talking to.  When you are excited, you really show it.  When you are crying, you really cry.  Life isn’t about faking emotions for you.  You really want to be the person that you are.   This is why you love your blog so much.  You love to be authentic with your thoughts and emotions.  What you write in your blog is what you are actually thinking and feeling.  

You are supportive.  You care about making sure the ones in your life feel supported.  You try to make sure to go to your student’s events, by attending as many as you can.  Sometimes you even do that above caring about yourself and your health.  You try to make sure to go to events that your friends are involved in, or you go to their family’s visitations, funerals, etc.  There are also many times you encourage your loved ones through encouraging words in cards and in gifts when you see something you know they would enjoy.  

You are creative, and you absolutely love to make something new.  You always make the joke that you want to quit your job in order to become a card marker.  Granted, you really don’t want to quit your job, but you do love to create new cards or new paintings and something different.  It is a stress reliever for you, but in the end a lot of people have cards or paintings that hopefully bring them joy.  

You do have problems with your patience.  I know that this is something that you are working on, and you are praying to the Lord, which is all you can do.  You have students now, so you know that you need to continually grow in your patience in order to help be a better teacher to the students.   You also most likely struggle with patience because you are a bit sensitive.  Sometimes you can get hurt by things that are not intentionally out to hurt you.  Then you are hurt and become more impatient.  You are continually growing in this.  Having thick skin doesn’t make you a mean person, just not one that will fall under insults as easily.  

Sincerely, 

Courtney 

Yes, this was a letter to myself, but it was one that needed to be made.  I know I am not close to being perfect.  However, the way that I have been talking to myself lately is not ok.  It is not alright.  I understand that I am listening to the words of the devil, and that is really altering the way that I am looking at myself.  I am not living then as a daughter of the Lord, but rather as a captive of the evil one.  I don’t always like having to get personal like this with myself, but it is also fundamental for starting to see myself as the way the Lord wants to see me.  I challenge all of you to do this if you are finding yourself listening more to the evil one than the Lord.  You may just have to write a letter to yourself as well.  This can easily be done on your phone or in a journal.  

Reminder that God does know you.  He loves you and wants you to always remember that.  Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”  The Lord planned for you.  He knows everything about you and planned for you to be the particular way that you are.  This is not about being arrogant, but simply only about loving yourself.  This is about making sure to love God’s creation in you.