It’s ok to not be ok:

It’s ok to not be ok.  I am not the one who first said this quote.  In fact, I believe that this is a very common saying, but I do sometimes have to live by this mentality.  For a long time, we were taught that when people ask how we are, we are supposed to respond that we are “alright” or that we are “good.”  However with the rise of mental health awareness, it has become more and more acceptable to not be “ok” or not be “good: in certain situations.  We have, as a whole, become more and more honest with our feelings and really trying to heal as opposed to covering up our real emotions with a bandage.  

I have recently found that I am right now as of writing this, not doing my best.  I am very tired.  I am tired from teaching amidst COVID, and I am tired of fighting students with the mask mandates.  I am tired of having to keep track of quarantine kids and getting materials out online for those who are in quarantine while still teaching in person.  I know there are bigger issues out there in the world, and I hate sounding like a crybaby.  However, I am exhausted at this point in the year, and I know there are many other teachers out there who feel a very similar way.  I have to be honest with myself and with my feelings in order to grow and learn from them.  

However, as people have found that while it is ok to not be ok, it is not ok to stay there.  Although I can admit that I am not doing the best, I need to find the ways that will get me back to being more than ok, even good or great.  There are many times that we as people need to be willing to evaluate the reasons that we are upset.  The times when I have admitted to myself that I am feeling weak, sad, upset or frustrated, are the moments that I need to spend in deeper and longer time of prayer.  This could also be spending some time journaling or even doing two in one with  journaling my prayers.  There are often times that when I have decided or discovered that I am in a bad mood or am not doing ok, that I just choose to sulk and act sad everywhere I go.  I don’t even attempt to make myself feel better.  The self-pity, while being honest with my feelings, is not helping me grow or develop and will certainly not help me get back to “good” or “ok.”    

The first thing that we need to do is find the Lord, and he will be the one to really get us back to being where we need to be.  In Romans 8:26, “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” The Lord knows all of our problems before we even go to him in prayer about those problems.  Before the Lord went up to heaven, he gave us the best gift by giving us a part of himself through the Holy Spirit.  When we have moments of weakness, and we all will have moments of weakness, the Spirit is there.  The Spirit will be strong for us.  The Lord will be strong for us. Recently at church, we had a sermon that reminded us that there are times when we feel weak, yet we feel the need to be strong all the time or at least look strong.  We can sometimes, again, try really hard to act like everything is great, but really these are the times when it would be better actually going to Lord and admitting that we are weak.  2 Corinthians 12:9 reminds us that, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Not only will the Lord be with us when we are weak, but he is actually more powerful and perfected in our weaknesses.  Therefore, lean on his goodness during your times of weakness, and he will be stronger and will help you become your stronger self.  

While the Lord should be our first person that we go to, it is also very acceptable to admit that we need help from others in our lives.  The Lord has blessed each one of us with humans to see and interact with everyday. (While it may be harder to interact with others during this particular year).  Again, there are many times the need to be strong and look strong is very important to us.   That need to be strong makes it so we don’t want to admit to others when we are struggling.  That is the opposite of what we should be doing.  In Hebrews 10:24 it says, “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works.”  We will forever be better with the others that are around us. However, we can not be better with anyone if we are not willing to be honest with each other.  When we are honest with each other, if the person is truly sent from the Lord to help us, then we will only grow stronger and ultimately be provoked to create more love in the world as well as complete more good works.  And we will be doing it with an actual joyful, honest heart as opposed to a dissatisfied, fake one.  

It is ok to not be ok.  It is ok to be struggling and to not feel very strong at the moment.  The Lord often reminds us in the Bible that we should go to him when we feel weak, and he will be strong for us.  The Lord has also blessed us with people who are around us to love us and care for us and help us when we are weak.  However, don’t do a disservice to yourself and make sure to try your best to get back up once you are down.  Just because you are not ok at the moment, doesn’t mean that you won’t be there soon.   My word of the year is Joy.  I am finding the evil one, Satan, is trying his very best to make sure that I don’t feel as much joy this year.  I have had moments where I have had to fight for it, but that is what I am going to continue to do.  I am going to continue being honest with myself to continue to find more and more joy from the Lord and those around me, not just a fake joy that I am putting on display.