Kaiser: Run in heaven

The year 2020 for me, like most of you in the world, has been very rough.  It has definitely been the longest year of my life.  A little less than two months ago, I lost my grandpa, and now my dog, Kaiser of 4 years, was hit by a car and has passed away.  I am so defeated and worn out from this year and especially from these past two months.   I am grateful though for the time that I had with Kaiser, and I am also so happy and blessed to have this blog space where I can write from my heart about my dear dog.  

Kaiser was the kindest dog that a person could ever meet.  He was never angry.  He was only happy and full of love.  This was for anyone that came in the door.  He was often one of the dogs that I would go to when I was the most upset.  He could always make me smile, and there are so many videos and pictures that I have of him that make me laugh.  I know that for both me and my parents, we have a Kaiser sized hole in our heart as we mourn the loss of this great dog.  

The second part of the verse in Job 1:21 says, “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.”  I think there are often many times, for myself included, that I think about God as taking things away.  He took my grandpa from me, and he has now taken my dog from me.  I don’t always focus on that first part.  The Lord gave me my grandpa and in particular MY grandpa, not with the personality or love as anyone else’s grandpa.  He then gave me my dog Kaiser with the wonderful personality that he had.  He gave me such great blessings, and although it hurts so much, it was time for them to be taken away.  

I am not going to make it sound like I accepted this right away.  I won’t deny that when I heard about Kaiser, I threw a temper tantrum.  I was like a child yelling at a parent about their favorite toy being taken from them, or a high schooler having their phone taken away by a teacher.  (I’ve seen that a few times before, being a teacher).  I swore and cursed.  I screamed, and started to punch the wall.  I also am really struggling with my anger at the person who hit my dog.  This isn’t because I think it is all their fault, but I am mad that they didn’t stop and they didn’t say anything.  I am struggling a lot, and I never want to make it sound like I never feel these different emotions, but I don’t know what I would do if I was dependent on God during this time. 

This is also a reminder to me that I shouldn’t take anything for granted.  Less than two months ago, on August 9th my grandparents, including my papa, were at my house scratching and loving my dog Kaiser.  Less than two months later, those two are both gone from me.  This changed my life quickly.  However, this is a reminder for me to never take for granted the dear friends, students, family members, and my other two dogs that I have in my life.  They have all been given to me by God.  I don’t know when he will need them back, but I want to make sure that I loved and appreciated them for the time that I had them.  

There are so many verses about being grateful that I have shared in the past, but another one is Psalm 1:9, “I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.” I need to always remember to love everything that I have been given and thank God for them.  I was given such a wonderful papa and a wonderful, loving dog.  I had that dog for four years as he made me laugh and smile.  I still have the best mom and dad, loving grandmothers, aunts and uncles, a job with students that I love with my whole heart, and two other loving dogs at my parent’s house.  I will continue to sing praise to God, even through this intense pain.  

Kaiser was so full of energy, and he loved to exercise.  He loved to run, and he would often go on runs with my mom.  My only hope now is that he is running around in heaven.  I hope that he is spending time with my grandpa, and that my grandpa is giving him some scratches for me.  I also hope that he is running around and spending a lot of time with everyone, maybe even Jesus.  I have to imagine that Jesus would have loved my dog. He would know that he was a special one. I hope that he is jumping and sniffing everything that is up there.   I loved you Kaiser, and I always will.  Be in peace up there, buddy.

The picture below was taken last December by my papa of me and my dog Kaiser.