Spending more time with myself

Recently, I have been watching a lot of Youtube because of the extra time from social distancing.  (This actually isn’t abnormal for me.  I love watching Youtube.  I watch Youtube more than regular T.V shows.) I watched a few youtube videos by Shallon Lester. I have really honest to goodness no idea why I am watching this Youtuber.  It has nothing to do with what I am usually interested in, but it was suggested for me, and I am bored so here we are.  (Actually there have been some pretty controversial things said about what she has done, and I definitely don’t always agree with her).  But I will say that she did provide a great piece of advice that I believe can work for anyone.  This is “We can’t change what happened, but we can change what it meant.”  

There are going to be many different things that happen to us in our lives.  There are going to be many things that will want to make us want to quit, want to loathe in self-pity, or have bitterness.  And yes, we definitely need to spend time grieving whatever that thing is in your life, but still no matter what you do though, you can never change the thing that initially happened.  

I think that many of us have experienced negative experiences while in social distancing.  It has definitely been hard to stay positive the whole time.  There are many of us that have increased anxiety because of never knowing what is going to happen and how much longer we will have an irregular schedule or stay in social distancing.   However, I have also gotten to see a lot of people use this time as a way to grow closer to their family members, have more time for hobbies, or redecorate one’s house.   

I would say that now it has been about two and a half months that we have been in social distancing/self-quarantine. Even though, now there are more and more states that are starting to open up, we still are not functioning the way that we used to before everything with this happened.  What I have discovered, is that even though these are weird times and these are times that I would rather not live through again.  I certainly would rather be going to school and see my students.  I have discovered a bit of normalcy these past few weeks.  The normalcy for what it is. 

There have been some times when I have gone home to stay with my parents, but there are many times that I will spend it in my apartment by myself.  I will be there for a week, and yes I will have the occasional meetings and of course spending a lot of time calling my parents, the majority of time I will be by myself with my own thoughts and individual activities.

This means that I have gotten a chance to do a lot of my favorite things which includes, writing (specifically for this blog and other poems), running (so far over 200 miles this year), reading (read about 5 books), crafting (including painting, card-making, and coloring), and listening to A LOT of music.  I have also recently gotten a golf membership and hope that I can also start biking soon.  This has really reminded me of things that I really really love.   I think that there are a lot of people who have gotten this chance as well.  There are more people who are rediscovering the things that they love to do such as cooking, (This is not me by the way.  In fact I am eating at restaurants for months on end after this is over), sewing, and working out.  I am glad that there are a lot of people who get this opportunity.  I am really starting to think that we should have more time in our daily lives to work on these hobbies.  Hobbies are a beautiful thing.  

I think what I am finding is that this is all an important thing to spend some time with ourselves.  Granted, I am getting more time than is really necessary these past few months.  I have also been given an opportunity during this time getting to spend more time with God.  I have really been making sure that I am spending more time in my devotionals, working on memory verses, church online etc.  This has been a time to make my heart ready for when I do start meeting up with people.  I will be much more grateful for the long conversations, hugs, and going out to eat for a good meal! 

I would have given anything to have school for the rest of the year as originally planned.  I would have loved to have finished my first year of teaching like normal.  However, even with that being said, I am in many ways blessed with the time that I got to have finding my passions and getting to know myself again.  I am happy that I got so much time to paint, to rekindle my fire against Human Trafficking and volunteering with IJM, reading inspirational books including books by a new favorite author of Maya Angelou.  I can never change that we didn’t go to school for the last two and a half months of my first teaching year, but I can change what it meant for me.