Faith like a Bee

One of my favorite sayings that is almost like a poem is the following, “Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn’t know it so it goes on flying anyway.” This is written by Mary Kay Ash.   I have that poem with a small bumblebee charm along with this poem at my house. There was even one time I bought this same charm and poem for the middle school girls that I was a mentor for at a girl’s camp.  (We were the yellow team, so it was fitting). I again, similar to the sunflower poem, love symbolism.  I love being able to see something in the real world that works as a reminder to live out in my life.  I love being able to see a bee and know that it can be used as a reminder to have faith, or to look at a sunflower and to remember to live and reflect the son of Jesus Christ. 

There are times in our lives when this faith that a bee has can be easy.  Think like sitting in a chair or getting in a car.  We hardly ever really have to think that hard about the risks that we are taking.  How do we know the chair will hold us when we sit down? Do we ever get nervous that we will get into an accident when we are driving? Maybe when there is a storm, but otherwise we have complete confidence in our ability of driving and in sitting in a chair.  There are other times that it can be really hard to have faith.  This, of course, can be in health that may be failing, major life decisions, finances, and the future for family members or friends.  

For those that have known me in the past, they know that I have really struggled with anxiety most of my life.  When I was a kid, I didn’t know that the word was anxiety.  I would have just described it as me being a worry-wart kid.   My mom would often tell me I spent way too much time worrying about stuff, and I was often too in my head.  I’ll never forget the time that I learned about appendicitis.  I was so nervous that I would have an appendix erupt inside of me, and then I would die.  I started to feel like my right side was hurting! I was crying out in pain for an hour long car drive, while my mom was trying to comfort me. How crazy was that?  I was like five or six years old.  I was a kid, and that should have been the last thing that was on my mind, but yet there I was, worrying about a small organ inside of my body.  (Granted I could have an appendicitis, but worrying about it wouldn’t have stopped it from happening, and that is quite the point). 

Then when I was in college, I started to have anxiety and panic attacks.  This became a regular occurrence, eventually daily.  I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and it felt as though there was an elephant sitting on my chest.  Eventually I would get on some medication for a few years, and that was incredibly helpful.  I will never deny the assistance that these medications were helpful, and there are times when I sometimes want to return to the medication.  I will never say that those who are considering medication, are not trusting God enough because I don’t believe that in the slightest.  I was one of the people who needed it at that particular time in my life. The anxiety medication was something that became a bit more of a necessity during this phase of my life, and I am very thankful for the doctors and medication that offered great assistance.  

However, I hardly ever bring my fears to Jesus.  I do not spend enough time going to the Lord when I have fear and anxiety.  I don’t always pray over my fears. There are many times that I feel I can only trust myself when it comes to my fears. I also don’t always trust God.  I don’t always believe that God will help me in all situations.  In fact, I am almost confident that I can help myself out better than God can.  I feel as though I can fix all of my problems, but all that does is leave me with more anxiety and worry.  For those who have been following this blog or have read a few of my other blogs may have heard me talk about my word of the year.  This word is freedom.  There are many different caveats in this word, and one of them is complete faith in God.  When one has complete faith in the Lord, there is freedom in the fear and anxiety that otherwise feels paralyzing.  This can be even during the small things of life like whether or not you should try something new.   Because of my anxiety and fear, and therefore lack of freedom, there are many things that I can be afraid to do and therefore don’t do.  This could even be something as small as visiting with my neighbor and telling them about Jesus or asking someone if I could pray over them.  

You wouldn’t be able to tell a bumblebee that it can’t fly because it believes that it can fly or rather that it knows how to fly.  Therefore, it flies.  It is never afraid that it can’t.  Even if it did, it certainly doesn’t let that stop it.  The bee has a place to be and things to do, that being afraid of whether or not it can fly, won’t work.  That is complete faith that is almost like knowledge, where it becomes so secondhand that you don’t even have to think about it. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to not have to think much about what we do?  Wouldn’t it be amazing to do the things that we want to do without the fear of failing?  Wouldn’t it be great to be comfortable going outside a person’s comfort zone?  Sadly, I won’t say that this is something that will ever happen.  These things may always be scary. But it is likely that every time we do step out in faith and depend on the Lord, it becomes easier and easier to step out of the comfort zone.

For me, this also really came out when it came to this blog.  When I was a kid, I had always wanted to be a writer.  I wanted to have books published, and there are many times that I still dream of that happening in my future.  When I was in college though, I struggled writing papers, and the feedback I received sometimes was brutal, honest, but brutal.  I started to doubt if I had anything to say or even if I did, could I say it well enough to matter.  This last year  I started to put a few thoughts together and then I even started to write them down.  This would still take me a little less than a year to actually start my blog, but at least the idea and dream of writing was starting to come back to me.  I am still sometimes afraid of people not liking what I have to say.  I am afraid of people thinking I was silly and weird for my thoughts. 

There are still times that I do.  There have been times when I have written something and gone back and forth on whether or not I should actually publish it or put it on social media.  But then I try to remember that God helped me construct those thoughts and words. He helped me put together sentences as I am continuing to grow in all areas; spiritually, mentally, physically, and even professionally.   If he has put these words on my heart that now has come to a computer screen, then it is something that should be put out there into the world.  If my words that come from God can be used to touch someone or if it can spread God’s word and love, then the initial discomfort or fear of sharing is worth it.  

Is there something that you are afraid to try?  Is there something that you have always wanted to do but was afraid to put yourself out there?  Maybe this could be running, writing, singing, or learning to play an instrument.  Maybe this would even be something small like asking someone if you could pray over them.  Do you trust the Lord enough with everything, both the small and big things? These are good questions to ask yourself. I know I would personally love to see you all try something new. Try being brave. We can keep each other accountable with this.

Please just remember that you can “Beelieve and fly high.”