I had a friend recently tell me that her cousin apologized to her because she didn’t have a boyfriend. This seemed surprising to me until I thought about some people I know saying something similar to me.
“Courtney, are you dating anyone?/ Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” They ask as though they are sad for me and believe that I must be upset that they are even bringing up a topic like that. They must believe that I am incredibly sensitive for not having a boyfriend or a significant other.
This is very strange to me. I have never once felt bad for someone else when they told me they were single. Sorry, it’s not that I don’t care about those people, but it was never a thing that made me think someone was less of a person if they were not with someone. This was not something I saw as a flaw in someone else. I would have figured that you were totally fine on your own.
I also don’t want people to think that this is something that I need to feel bad about. Don’t think that the idea that I am single is something that makes me feel sad or upset or loney. That is not the thing that makes me sad at all.
I want to take this time to explain my many reasons why this doesn’t make me sad, and why instead I praise God because of my singleness and why anyone else who is single should. Singleness can be used as a great tool to reach the many unsaved peoples of the world.
Singleness can be used as a great glory to God, even though that is often forgotten about. There are many times when people talk about marriage being used as a way to glorify God. The husband is a representation of God while the wife is a representation of the church.
However, I would argue that there is a lot of glory that one can bring to God when one is single. There is again that freedom that one can have in their ministry. When you are single, you don’t have the additional stress of a spouse or a family, and therefore more time to focus on your individual ministry.
When I worked in Storm Lake at a nonprofit, my roommate and I at the time were both single, while many of the other major leaders had to get to family things, my roommate and I were able to dedicate so much time to the youth of Storm Lake. We would often meet with many of the kids when we weren’t technically in our working hours. This was also because we were living in the trailer park where a good bunch of the kids we were serving were living at the time. This became such a growing experience for me because I was able to really learn how to love and care about people because I was living and working amongst them.
I know that I am not the only example of this. There are many missionaries around the world that are single, because again, they have the ability to live on their own in whatever country or condition that God has called them too. There are many married missionaries, but there is always the working around things for the other partner, or their kids. Being single gives a person complete freedom to dedicate themselves to their ministry.
Paul and well even Jesus were what…Single!
Paul who is known as the greatest missionary and bringing of the word to the Gentiles, is also a great example of singleness. He even mentions this gift in some of his writings. He even calls singleness a gift, not a burden, not a problem, but a GIFT. A gift that one can receive from God.
Paul says, In 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 “I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single.” Paul tries to mention that there should be a desire to be single because there are many benefits to this.
I am not saying that I will never get married. I may in the future have a marriage, and I hope that I will then be a great wife But for the moment, I will be extremely happy and blessed that I am single. I will use that singleness as a glory to God. Therefore, don’t be sorry that I am single, because I am certainly not.
Colossians 3:23 Blog 